By the Masked Hernandez

I’ve been riding my Harley brother, up and down the coast and hanging and banging with the bikers man, and drove over to this campground and the question came up: “Masked Hernandez, what would you change about wrestling?” I wanted to say that the whole business needs an overhaul man, but I decided to start small with a big man named “Kane.”

The WWE brought in Kane man as a monster for the Undertaker to squash. They brought him in as the brother of the “Dead Man” and put a mask on him man. I still believe it was a tribute to me man because of all the WWE fans that wanted me to come out of retirement and face the Undertaker. WWE, you’re gonna have to come up with a bigger dollar amount man. You know how many masked maniacs I bring to the stands!

Kane won the world title and held it for a day before losing it, but he was a monster and a character. I read an article recently man, asking where all the characters went and I don’t know. When I wrestled, I was across the ring from guys like Kamala, the Missing Link, and King Kong Bundy, but now, we have all these models man…on steroids and not an ounce of fat on them brother. There are no more characters. So what does the WWE do man? They take the mask off of Kane and turn him into a normal guy and it ruined him.

I was backstage at RAW a few weeks ago man and it’s a different scene. Saw Bret Hart and spoke to him for a bit and you know, he’s not doing much for the WWE. They are trying to bring in familiar faces to keep asses in the seats man. They got these new guys that wouldn’t know a personality brother if they wrapped a belt around their wrists with it and tapped all four corners of the ring!

Kane was backstage too man and I watched his reaction after the Big Show got his big self ran over by a car and Kane was emotional. What is going on there brother? He’s supposed to be an indestructible monster and now he’s acting like Adrian Adonis. Where’s your flower shop Kane?

All is not lost brother. I like Kane. I stood across the ring from him years ago man and he’s a professional. Our double DQ match still goes down in history as the most vicious showdown in the history of indie wrestling. I still feel sore brother. Next to my friend Billy Jack Haynes man, Kane was the best in ring worker and that’s why he needs to “Get Nasty” again.

I also heard through the grapevine about Brian Knobbs man. He’s been running off at the mouth about the late and great Macho Man Randy Savage, brother and that fat slob should keep his trap shut. We are brothers in the business man, and this blimp only survives off the crumbs that his man, Hulk Hogan, drops to him. Brother, he’s like that other no talent hack Brutus Beefcake. They both suck up to Hogan man and he gets them work man. Nasty Boys? I’m the one that “Gets Nasty” and I didn’t have to get on my knees for Hogan to do so big boy.
John Cena has potential brother. I like his attitude man and his respect for the men that made it possible for him to turn a buck like Andre the Giant. Those were the days brother.

The WWE needs Kane to come back to his evil ways. Don’t change your evil ways brother!

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