RingSide Report

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What It Means To Be a Wrestling Fan: An Exploration of Wrestling As Life

By John Pitroff

Who are the wrestling fans of the world? What are these people all about? Why do they like this odd thing known as wrestling? How come they all seem to be hicks? Why do they really believe this is all real? Why do they all seem to fit into this perfect mold of what us outsiders think they should be? Why are they all missing teeth, why are none of them smart, why do none of them ever get laid enough, why are they all so cliché? How many times can they put up with another boring Triple H title reign? Why do they ask so many questions in the opening to their wrestling columns?

It must be odd to an outsider of wrestling to look in. It must feel weird to have no clue what drives us, what makes us find enjoyment in half naked men fight hitting each other. But, aren’t we all really outsiders? This column is going to be about wrestling as it relates to life…so aren’t we really all outsiders to what we like and why we like it? If you take yourself out of the idea of life and look in at it without letting the fact that you are alive cloud your judgments, isn’t life just this insane crazy ride that makes no sense when you really think about it? Seriously, this thing known as life makes so little sense that it makes having Pete Rose at WrestleMania dressed up as the San Diego Chicken getting beat up by Kane seem almost commonplace.

What drives me to like wrestling and you not to? I don’t have a clue. I just like it. What is it about me sitting here writing this that brings me to a point of love that I can’t describe and what makes you want to sit down and read it, while others could not care less? Why do I watch great wrestling matches with as much introspection that most only use to study Nietzsche? Why can I find just as much enjoyment in a 25 minute classic, that someone else can find in a nearly 3 hour movie about blue creatures that fly around? Why would I never bother to go see that movie at the theater, while millions would? And, why would those same people never bother to watch Kurt Angle vs. Stone Cold at SummerSlam 2001?

The fact is that wrestling fans come in all shapes and sizes. Sort of like Snickers bars. Next time a non fan asks you what a wrestling fan is, tell them they are Snickers bars. I guarantee you they will leave with justification of the suspicion that they had before they ever asked you…wrestling fans are totally insane. As they walk away, throw a Snickers bar at their gut to make them bend over slightly and then give them a Stone Cold Stunner. We don’t need anymore people walking around spreading the lie that wrestling fans are crazy.

Some wrestling fans are insane. Some aren’t. There are stupid fans, there are smart fans, there are young fans, there are old fans, there are casual fans, there are hardcore fans. There are male fans, female fans, black fans, white fans, and fans that oscillate at three different settings. Wrestling fans are as unique and odd of a group as humanity itself.

Wrestling has always been a great metaphor for life both inside the ring and out, and in the same respect, so are the fans. Just as no human is truly the same, but they all are united by the fact that they are alive, as wrestling fans, we aren’t all the same, but we are united by the fact that one time or another in our life, we have found joy in professional wrestling. Just as life is just the slow process of death and the second you are born you start to die, watching a bad wrestling show is a slow process of death and the second you turn it on you start dying inside mentally.

Too many people like to generalize wrestling fans. Just like too many people like to generalize humans. Just like I generalized humans with the previous statements. But, I have even generalized too much in the past. In one of my previous columns I said, “No one normal gets into wrestling. These are attention starved people looking for people to cheer for them fake fighting with someone else.” In hindsight, I can’t agree with what I wrote. I’m sure there are some “normal” people who get involved in wrestling, even if they are few and far between. The “attention starved people” was something I know about myself, so I put it onto other wrestlers as well. But seriously, look at the outfits that Rico wore, and tell me that a lot of these wrestlers aren’t just dying for attention more than WWE is dying for an original character in the main event scene.

This whole debate over whether or not wrestling fans, or wrestlers in general, are normal all comes down to the definition of the word “normal.” Just what is normal? Does it even exist? Isn’t everything uniquely unique? Well, everything but TNA bringing back the Montreal Screwjob again. Isn’t the only way that people are the same is the fact that we are all unique and that makes us the same? Doesn’t the same apply to wrestling fans as well? Aren’t we all both totally normal to ourselves, whether or not that is normal to an outsider (this is not a Scott Hall reference)? I’ll give in and say Kizarny was not normal, that dude was just weird. Whizile wize izare izon thize sizubject, Kizizarny wizas izan izawesome chizaracter thizat dizidn’t gizet hizis chizance tizo gizet izover. By the way, in Kizarny speak, is it proper to say “izis” or “isiz” for is? These are the levels of thought that wrestling pushes me to when it is 2:27 in the morning and you find yourself speaking Kizarny while listening to Tool blasting into your headphones.

As wrestling fans, who are we? We fathers, sons, husbands, wives, cousins, distant relatives, friends, aunts, and grandparents. We might be your dog or cat. Who knows? We are your children, we are the mailman, we are the guy on the street that walks by that you never say hi to and he just walks on through this life and all you are left with is the missed opportunity of knowing anything about him. Hell, that guy probably goes home every night and watches ECW tape after ECW tape for all you know. We are philosophers, we are writers, we are radio hosts, we are stand up comedians, we are lovers, we are haters, we are people. See what I am saying? We are all around you, whether or not you know it. We are taking over the planet…just like the New World Order.

As wrestling fans, we are someone you know and love. We are you…if you look in the mirror deep and long enough. You are all of your interactions with others, all your thoughts of everything. Therefore, if you know someone that is a fan, perhaps you should open your mind to wrestling and try to see what they see in it. If you have always been close minded to the idea of wrestling because you believed all the cliché premises about the fans, about the storylines, about the product…then you might just be dead wrong. People know as little about what wrestling is about as we as humans know about what life is all about. I think it was Jake “The Snake” Roberts who said, “The only thing I know is that I know nothing.” Just kidding, that was Socrates, but Jake was the only one deep enough to make the joke sound even believable. I guess Ultimate Warrior would have worked there in some odd way, too. But that is just because he never seems to make sense.

I am a wrestling fan. I have been for a long time. I love being a fan. I hate the cliché ideas that being a wrestling fan is associated with. Please, both in wrestling and in life, open your mind to see what others see. If you are a hater, you will never learn to love. If you only see the Mark Henry “Sexual Chocolate” storyline, open your mind to the time Austin attacked Vince McMahon with a Zamboni. If you never try to see something from another’s perspective, you are only stifling your own world view. Don’t fit in your squared circle, or box, of normalcy without ever trying to see that sometimes life’s ring has more than even TNA’s six sides. You can’t fit fans of wrestling in a box, we aren’t square, we are more like an icosagon. If you only laugh at wrestling because you don’t know, if you make up your opinion of wrestling, and its fans, without ever doing some research, it is time to think differently. Pick up a book if you are of the literate wrestling fan quota (I know there aren’t many of us).

It is time to revolutionize what it means to understand others, both in the ring and out. Wrestling is life, and when we open our minds to see it, we will all be able to live peacefully together while hitting each other with steel chairs and while performing hit and run felonies on unsuspecting victims who are lying in a waiting ambulance while we ram them with semi trucks. Yes! I always wanted to end a column with a Hulk Hogan/The Rock pre WrestleMania X8 storyline reference. Life is complete…I will go to watch some more wrestling.

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