September 11th, 2011 
Geno 
By Jim Minkle
I have said it time and time again: anyone over 60 should not be driving a car. If they are on the road, they should be in the back of a hearse or getting driven back to the nursing home after a day out with the family. Now, Reese Witherspoon, an incredibly hot chick, got hit by an old bitch with a car and has said that she won’t press charges.
How will this elderly problem be fixed if we ignore it? Shame on you Reese. You should have gotten up, dusted yourself off, and beat that 84 year old sack of crap to a pulp.
Now I’m not against old people. I used to visit my grandfather when we had him locked away and then he went too batty and we just ignored him until they put him into a pine box. I sort of wish he was alive today to see the tragedies that happen when an elderly person gets behind the wheel. Had he known about the dangers of auto erotic asphyxiation, he would still be kicking!
If I were Reese, I would say: “The old bitch will pay!” She needs to pay. At that age, everything goes and your reflexes are shit. The elderly are driving into houses, running people over, overdosing on Viagra and filling their diapers.
I guess I can sum this up by saying to the elderly that insist on driving: F**k you.
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I’ll be 60 in a couple months and I drive better than many (most) younger people. I have several friends who are also better drivers than many as well. The people who should not drive, or be behind the wheel are those who can’t see over the wheel or who think “slow is safe” when slow is actually “afraid.” I do however think that people over my age should be tested annually to remove some of the people like my mother turned into when she got into her 70s. She was slow, steady and afraid of the elements so as to be a hazard herself.