Yo, check this out. I was at a celebration yesterday and I was approached by ten dozen Victoria’s Secret models and they all said, in unison: “You’re the Vinman! We love your hair, your Drakkar, your smile, your sexiness. We want to have your baby!” After showing them pictures of my LEGENDARY friends on my cell phone, I stopped and thought about it and realized that I have fans everywhere. I was humbled by that. Then one of the babes said: “Is it true that your LEGENDARY friend, John Goodman died?” I could not believe my ears. Imagine if his family was in earshot of that. They’d be devastated!
I got on the phone and spoke to my LEGENDARY friend, John and he gave the following statement: “Assclowns and noodle dick twat keyboard warriors out there that keep putting me on blast and saying that I died. I have a message for you. I am not some stupid fat fuck and I will shove my big Lebowski into the mouths of these keyboard warriors and then I will kick them right in the middle of their dick until their balls fly out of their ass and their projectile balls hit their fat grandmother right in her wrinkled, cocksucker, nut sack face. YA HEARD!” Well said, John.
Now, I am doing damage control here. I’m going to right this wrong. My God, imagine if his family saw the headlines and were in earshot of the model’s comments? They’d be double devastated!
(Note: Comments may not be those of John Goodman)
CLICK PICTURE BELOW IF YOU GOT THE BALLS