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Undertaker WRESTLEMANIA 30 STREAK SHOCKER: Brock Lesnar, Sting, Kane, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, CM Punk & More – WWE NEWS

By Masked Hernandez

Let me tell you something brother. In order to see in the future man, you gotta go back into the past and that’s what I’m going to do brother. The Undertaker came into the WWE under the guidance of the Million Dollar Man, but would soon move over to Paul Bearer, and the legacy would begin. His first Wrestlemania would be:

VII – Jimmy Snuka

I got the call dude and I heard that Snuka was going to take on the dead man. I knew that it was going to be messy. Snuka was never too bright man. When we traveled the roads, the man wore Velcro shoes dude. Any man that wears Velcro shoes is not that bright and the dead man beat him down brother. 1-0.

VIII – Jake “The Snake” Roberts

Hey brother, put down that bible and that liquor bottle. You have to face the Dead Man and you saw what happened. The drunk preacher got tombstoned for his trouble and pinned 1-2-3. Nice try brother, but if you are going to take on the Taker, you’d better be bring it and I’m not talking about the bottle!

IX – Giant Gonzalez

Not much to say about this one brother. They get a big, no-talent chump and put him in there and the match stinks up the house. Giant Gonzalez can’t carry the Taker’s jock brother. 3-0

XI – King Kong Bundy

What goes around, comes around, doesn’t it Bundy? Well, you found out the hard way that you can’t jump SD Jones at Wrestlemania and not pay the price to Karma man. The dead man put this tubby slob down for the count, bringing him to 4-0.

XII – Diesel (Kevin Nash)

Hey Kevin Nash, can you make it a match without an injury brother. This dude is as brittle as they come brother and they were lucky to get him through a program with the dead man. This is right before Nash went to WCW man and those Monday Night Wars began, but when he faced the Taker, he would feel the wrath man. 5-0.

13 – Psycho Sid

ZZZZZZZ. Hey Sid, did you shit your pants this time brother? Did you break your leg? Did you excite any of the masked maniacs? ZZZZZZ. 6-0.

XIV – Kane

OK, now we are talking brother. Kane, the dead man’s brother, came out of the woodwork and had one hell of a match with the Taker and gave him the fight of his life, but after a couple of tombstones, the show was over. 7-0.

XV – Big Boss Man

Aren’t you busy cornholing Nailz Bossman? This was a mismatch brother and it ended with the lawman being hanged after losing badly in a Hell in the Cell match. This was an easy one for the Taker dude. 8-0.

X-Seven – Triple H

Triple H…the most uncharismatic wannabe top star brings the dead man to 9-0. Not much more to say about that one brother.

X8 – Ric Flair

Nice one brother. The Nature Boy is a class act man and he deserved a shot at the dead man’s run, but Father Time caught up with him and the bigger man won that night. You should have brought the four horsemen with you dude. Leave Mongo and Paul Roma at home brother. 10-0.

XIX – Big Show & A-Train

Wake me up when this one is over dude. A 2-1 match and the cure for insomnia dude. The dead man did his best to make it lively, but I would rather watch the Shockmaster dry hump Vader. 11-0.

XX – Kane

A rematch, which is a common theme dude. Kane, once again, came up short but the match was lively and fun to watch brother. 12-0.

21 – Randy Orton

What?! They bring this no-talent chump to take on the Undertaker at WM? Well, brother, this is what I call pushing Triple H’s boys to the top one way or another man, but the dead man still won and brought it to 13-0.

23 & 23: Mark Henry & Batista

I put these two useless chumps together dude. The Undertaker needs a good dance partner, not some roid freak and some fat slob brother. I hope that the WM renters got their money back on these brother. 15-0.

XXVI – Edge

Finally, somebody worth watching brother. Edge had it all man, but an injury would sideline his career. He had the charisma to shake the masked maniacs to their core and put on one hell of a show with the dead man, but the dead man would go 16-0 when the dust settled.

XXV & XXVI – Shawn Michaels

Back to back matches with Shawn Michaels. Well, to the dude’s credit, Michaels didn’t have to ride the jock of Vinnie Mac like Triple H did. He made his way on his charisma brother and can excite the masked maniacs without the help of audio recordings of a roaring crowd that they use to help HHH man. The dead man goes 18-0.

XXVII & XXVIII – Triple H

Get a life brother. You ruin the careers of Booker T, RVD and countless others and then you need that spotlight man? HHH can’t give away tickets to a show if he’s headlining, but he clings onto whoever he can…and that was the Taker here for two years in a row. 20-0.

29 – CM Punk

Here is another guy like Edge…young, hungry, charismatic and ready to take over. Surprisingly, the dead man kept it in check and won the match, bringing him to 21-0.

XXX – Brock Lesnar

Well, here we go brother. Lesnar is a name, but he has a short contract man. They’re not going to give him the honor of breaking the streak dude just to have him collect dust from this point on. Look for 22-0 and then maybe we’ll see …

31 – Sting

Maybe, maybe not brother. Maybe it will be the Undertaker and Kane vs. the Bladerunners with the winners taking on the Powers of Pain. That would take down the house man. Leave the Beverly Brothers out of this one dudes…they can’t handle the brothers of destruction, but Techno Team 2000 could! Bring it brother.

If the Undertaker beats Lesnar at WM 30, what should he do next?

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