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Kap’s Smoke Ring Vol. 7: Anthony Joshua on Beyonce & Feathers, Vitali Klitschko on Joshua, Jim Lampley, & Kronk Gym’s Demise

By “Kap” Kaplowitz

I have not slept since the MLB play-offs began. I’m covering that, a smattering of horse racing, and LOOK — it’s Monday. The day whenst I cyber-pen my favorite bit of boxing news for my favorite boxing website, Ringside Report. Strike up the band and put on another pot a’ coffee! I’m ‘bout to light this stogie and trip my Chromebook, pugilistic. Autumn hath hit my porch/office and thermals are under my sweats and —

Anthony Joshua is poking fun at Deontay Wilder and David Haye. I mean everyone else is, why shouldn’t he? He put the two, “Beyonce” and “Feather” respectively, on notice with an ominous: “It’s just a matter of time until we fight.” Gee, I hope he was only talking to Beyonce there. No one wants to see Feathers. Oh look. He went on: “All these guys talk about me all the time and it’s negative, always negative, but sooner or later I’ll be ramming my jab down their throat.” Friggin’ Feathers is gonna talk his way into ANOTHER bout?

And don’t look now, but please do because not Wladimir but Vitali Klitschko is firing shots at Joshua. The retired since 2012 Ukrainian is taking aim at the hard-hitting Brit because he feels responsible for his lil brother’s defeat. Whilst working his corner, Vitali told Wlad not to be so active in the sixth stanza after felling Joshua — expecting him to gas on his own. “I expect a big-muscled athlete to not recover, I was surprised, Joshua recovered so fast and stopped Wladimir.” Whoopsie. Now this must be avenged. But really, define “must.” Oh look, Vitali did: to the tune of un-retiring if necessary to find revenge for all Klitchskos. Oy.

Jim Lampley hath apparently signed a big deal with what’s left of HBO Boxing. The International Boxing Hall of Famer and HBO fight-caller of 29 years, will remain its main-squeeze talking head. This is said to be a five-year contract extension. I have nary a thought as to the sir, any more than I do toward vanilla ice cream or milk toast.

In truly and deeply sad news, Kronk Gym, the world famous boxing locale founded by Emanuel Steward, is no longer. It is being reported that a fire destroyed the building which housed it. A fire deemed “suspicious” by authorities. Thomas “Hitman’ Hearns, a pupil of Steward and denizen of Kronk had this to say: “What this building brought for me was a chance at life. I got a chance to become somebody out of this building right here. To see it like this is pitiful — it’s really pitiful.” Oh, to speak volumes in three sentences.

Well, gentlepersons. My cigar has reached by soft and sensitive finger-tip flesh and there’s a post-season game on somewheres which begs my attentions and coverage. Till next Tuesday’s next Kap’s Smoke Ring, keep yer chin-tucked and don’t accept any wooden nickels — for they are flammable.

To read and hear more of “Kap” Kaplowitz:

www.Kaplowitz.xyz and Kaplowitz Radio are the blog (daily) and podcast (Sundays & Wednesdays) homes of “Kap” Kaplowitz. In broad strokes, topics include: lifestyle, sports, and fashion. In more narrow strokes: cigars, boxing, baseball, and sweatpants. Want more? Advice and etiquette. Still more? Schtick Yiddish & Pig Shakespearean. Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day? Every week, Kap will make an appearance here at Ringside Report; smoking a stogie and unloading his boxing brains.

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