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Kap’s Smoke Ring Vol. 10: 2017 Year in Review (Heavyweight Division) – For Entertainment Purposes Only

By “Kap” Kaplowitz

Volume 10. Ten columns. Two and a half months. To think they said it wouldn’t last. As per usual, I thank you all for reading and Mr. Berkwitt for having me here at Ringside Report, for ‘tis always wonderful to be had. Whilst last week’s Smoke Ring was different than the norm, this ‘un is set to be down-right meshuga. With the year winding-down, gentlepersons, I give you this, my year-end wrap-up of the Heavyweight Division!

For the year 2020.

Now lemme just find the perfect cigar for the occasion and away myself to my front porch. For premium tobacco and chilly autumn air each doth enhance the visionary prowess of my fortune-telling third-eye. Hey, I was only three rounds off in my prediction of Wilder-Stiverne! I’m better at stuffs further-out, see? Plus, I believe it was unseasonably warm then.

We’ll jump right in and start with the biggest news at the time of this writing, November 7th 2020: Zhilei Zhang versus Tyson Fury hath been signed to take place on Christmas Day in Macau. At stake are the IBF, WBO, and WBA titles of “Big Bang” Zhang. T. Fury is favored here to become a three-time champ over his aging and smaller opponent.

If ya recall, Fury won the right to this bout by defeating Deontay Wilder last year in Alabama, and the Bronze Bomber ain’t fought since. How’d Big Bang get the belt? By defeating the winner of the late 2019 fought fight of the year in which Oleksandr Usyk wrested the belts from their long-time keeper, Anthony Joshua. We all thought Zhang was a bit long in the tooth for that one, too. So watch-out Fury!

Meanwhiles, Daniel Dubois is seemingly forever the next big thing. The problems are many-fold for him, humsoever. He’s too dang good, for one, and with fans not exactly connecting with him — the reward ain’t worth the risk in potential dance-partners eyes. He didn’t help his cause at all by failing a VADA test leading up to his then-canceled 2019 show-down with Deontay Wilder. It seems his baby brother Prince is getting almost as much buzz as he these days, if not more.

In slightly brighter news, 2020 was a good year on the come-back trail for Jarrell “Big Baby” Miller. After losing three tough ones in-a-row. Two to Kubrat Pulev (the first of which was a tune-up for his re-match with Joseph Parker, whom nabbed his WBC belt with the surprise victory). Although the two wins coming over Dereck Chisora and Bermane Stiverne doth leave much to be desired.

No, this isn’t some dystopian look into the sweet science future, but there is a black-eye given to the sport a’ black-eyes whenst Bellew-Haye IV is cancelled the day before it was set to take place. David Haye backed out due to dubious injury, appearing at a presser with a thick brace around his lower leg and claiming to be fresh from the hospital. A keen reporter noted that it looked to be a neck brace. The fight’s promoter, Shannon Briggs spoke out in defense of…

I’m sorry, it seems my powers are… tiring. I’m growing… weak and my fingers are growing… hot from the tail-end of this… cigar. Shannon Briggs is saying… is saying… “Until next week, keep yer chin tucked.” Wait… I’m getting… more… “Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

To read and hear more of “Kap” Kaplowitz:

www.Kaplowitz.xyz and Kaplowitz Radio are the blog (daily) and podcast (Sundays & Wednesdays) homes of “Kap” Kaplowitz. In broad strokes, topics include: lifestyle, sports, and fashion. In more narrow strokes: cigars, boxing, baseball, and sweatpants. Want more? Advice and etiquette. Still more? Schtick Yiddish & Pig Shakespearean. Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day? Every week, Kap will make an appearance here at Ringside Report; smoking a stogie and unloading his boxing brains.

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