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<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\nHaving completed her ablutions, Brooke Anderson Lemon, stepped in front of the mirror.<\/p>\n
After adjusting her hair, she decided to wear the crimson silk bow that had been a gift from Dr. Jill Biden.<\/p>\n
Dr. Biden had presented it to Brooke on the day she was appointed Press Secretary to the Biden canines.<\/p>\n
Red was the perfect color for the day as she had an absurdity to discuss in her initial press conference. She felt that a strong color would add emphasis to her words. This particular issue was not what she had anticipated as the first feline to be a Press Secretary; but it was something she was anxious to deal with. Brooke wanted to set the tone for further conferences as she represented the First Canines of the United States.<\/p>\n
Sighing, she fluffed her tail, opened the door and was escorted to the waiting car by her personal secret service attachment. She wondered if other press secretaries were obliged to have security escorts. A different time, a different day, she thought to herself.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning,\u201d she said from the podium. \u201cAll of you know me and you have my credentials. Today, we won\u2019t be discussing issues of national consequence. Unfortunately, something came up, promulgated by Newsmax, an entity that refers to itself as journalism. And I, personally wanted to comment about this.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was brought to my attention that an individual, who shall be nameless, has cast aspersions upon the marital relationship of Major and Champ\u2019s parents.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTucker Carlson!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you, Miami Herald,\u201d said Brooke. \u201cAt first, I laughed and thought it might be some strange parody from Saturday Night Live or The Onion.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo did most of us!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd a nod to you, New York Times,\u201d grinned the Press Secretary.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut then this bottom of the barrel hate monger outfit belittled the canines that I represent. I do not care to repeat what was said about these dignified dogs, with a long history of actually being working dogs. I am sure you have all seen what they have done in a very short time. Major and Champ have already been working diligently to present a public service video on the importance of COVId-19 prevention.\u201d<\/p>\n
A reporter stood up, saying \u201cGerman Shepherds do have a blood line as working dogs and very trustworthy. I know several of them but haven\u2019t met Major and Champ yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWashington Post, you will meet them soon. They have been busy on Twitter with many followers. They have planned a reception for next month and are deciding on a location on the grounds,\u201d said Brooke.<\/p>\n
The Press Secretary acknowledged the waving hand of the San Francisco Chronicle.<\/p>\n
\u201cBrooke, this was not a scheduled press conference. We all got a calendar listing and it wasn\u2019t on it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTrue, but It was the request of Champ and Major that we have a quick briefing. I don\u2019t have to tell you how protective they are of their parents. Although they realized that few people would put faith in the trash recently spewed forth from Newsmax, they felt this must be addressed.\u201d<\/p>\n
The journalist from the Chicago Sun-Times was acknowledged, \u201cHi, Brooke, nice to see you. We\u2019re delighted to see a feline as Press Secretary\u2026just more of the diversity in the Biden Administration. But I wanted to know who authorized this kind of spur of the moment press conference? Did it come from the president?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Champ and Major were irate about the slurs thrown about the relationship of their parents. They knew that such disgusting rancor would always be there. But they felt it was important that they stand up and express their anger and disgust about such lies.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLadies and Gentlemen, thank you so much for being here with me on such short notice. And may I add that, after more than forty years of a relationship, it is stunning to find an insinuation that the relationship between Jill and Joe Biden is a sham. How amazing that they could pretend to share such devotion for so many decades. Just boggles my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Curmudgeon suggests “Bitter Medicine\u201d, Dr. Eugene Eisman’s story of his experiences–from the humorous to the intense—as a young army doctor serving in the Vietnam War.<\/p>\n
Bitter Medicine by Eugene H. Eisman, M.D. –on Amazon<\/a><\/p>\n Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n