{"id":106708,"date":"2021-09-07T14:32:39","date_gmt":"2021-09-07T19:32:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=106708"},"modified":"2021-09-07T14:33:12","modified_gmt":"2021-09-07T19:33:12","slug":"doctor-curmudgeon-uncensored","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=106708","title":{"rendered":"Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae Uncensored"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-1545664804358300\" crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\" style=\"display: block; text-align: center;\" data-ad-layout=\"in-article\" data-ad-format=\"fluid\" data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-1545664804358300\" data-ad-slot=\"8616314829\"><\/ins><br \/>\n<script>\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\n<\/script><\/p>\n<p><strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=106708\" rel=\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=106708\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-75425 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/ubm-photo-201x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"201\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/ubm-photo-201x300.jpg 201w, https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/ubm-photo.jpg 535w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 201px) 100vw, 201px\" \/><\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There have been many occasions in the past when a certain journalist has had nothing pleasant to report on. As he is young and relegated to covering such entities as social media, gossip, community goings-on and news that he finds boring\u2026.he has called upon Doctor Curmudgeon.<\/p>\n<p>This brave reporter has agreed to certain rules. The cranky physician is to be recorded with no changes, editing and censorship. In return, these question and answer sessions are to be broadcast and then printed exactly as they occur. The intrepid journalist\u2019s girlfriend is the program manager of a local radio station and is always on the hunt for audience-capturing <!--more--><\/p>\n<p>programs.<\/p>\n<p>Galahad, the brilliant Siberian Husky who tries to keep order in the Curmudgeon household is unhappy with his human cousin\u2019s forays into this area. Finding her answers to be far too abrasive and dismissive, he puts on his headphones and listens to Vivaldi as she responds to listeners\u2019 questions.<\/p>\n<p>The Journalist has given up all attempts to moderate Doctor Curmudgeon<\/p>\n<p>REPORTER: \u201cWelcome to another session of medical advice with our favorite Physician, Doctor Curmudgeon. I will now open up to your questions.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>QUESTIONER #1: \u201cHow often should I wash my underwear?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOCTOR: \u201cSince I have been admonished to be less succinct, at least some of the time, I will be complete with this answer.<br \/>\n\u201cFirst, pick up the underpants by the waistband.<br \/>\n\u201cDo not touch the crotch<br \/>\n\u201cHold the crotch in the vicinity of your nose.<br \/>\n\u201cWith the other hand, waft in the area of the crotch toward your nose and \u2026..\u201d<br \/>\nREPORTER: \u201cUh, Doctor Curmudgeon, you do not have to so detailed. Please respond to questions in whatever way you choose.\u201d<br \/>\nDOCTOR: \u201cNext!\u201d<br \/>\nQUESTIONER #2: \u201cI heard on the internet that we are only using ten percent of our brains. I have two questions. If I use more of my brain, will I be smart? And if I get smarter, what pills should I buy to get more of my brain in use?\u201d<br \/>\nDOCTOR: \u201cNext question!\u201d<br \/>\nQUESTIONER #3: \u201cHow often should I shave my armpits? I asked my doctor and he couldn\u2019t stop laughing at me. That was not nice of him and I think I should find a new doctor.\u201d<br \/>\nDOCTOR: \u201cGet your Covid Vaccine.\u201d<br \/>\nQUESTIONER #3: \u201cYou didn\u2019t answer my question.\u201d<br \/>\nDOCTOR: \u201cYou obviously have a good doctor. Leave your armpits alone.\u201d<br \/>\nQUESTIONER #4: \u201cYou have been asked this question before and you refuse to give us an answer. What should we wash our masks in? Is it Ok to use the gentle cycle?<br \/>\nDOCTOR: \u201cDon\u2019t\u201d<br \/>\nQUESIONER #4: \u201cDon\u2019t use the gentle cycle?\u201d<br \/>\nDOCTOR: \u201cSince you have obviously just hitchhiked in from Mars, and are new to this planet, I will answer you. DON\u2019T WASH YOUR MASK!\u201d<br \/>\nQUESTIONER #5:\u201dWhat about the chip?\u2019<br \/>\nDOCTOR: \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<br \/>\nQUESTIONER: #5\u201d The microchip that they inject when they give you the vaccine and it\u2019s supposed to let the government control you.\u201d<br \/>\nDOCTOR: \u201cPlease contact questioner #4 and return to Mars with him immediately.\u201d<br \/>\nREPORTER: \u201cThank you so much, Doctor Curmudgeon, for answering questions today. Do you have any parting words for your avid listeners? Please, please, limit yourself to two or three brief comments.\u201d<br \/>\nDOCTOR:<br \/>\n\u201cWear your mask<br \/>\nGet vaccinated<br \/>\nDon\u2019t be an idiot!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Curmudgeon suggests &#8220;Bitter Medicine\u201d, Dr. Eugene Eisman&#8217;s story of his experiences&#8211;from the humorous to the intense&#8212;as a young army doctor serving in the Vietnam War.<\/p>\n<p>Bitter Medicine by Eugene H. Eisman, M.D. &#8211;on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Bitter-Medicine-Doctors-Year-Vietnam\/dp\/0615874347\">Amazon<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n<p>SERMO <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sermo.com\">www.sermo.com<\/a> \u201ctalk real world medicine\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[si-contact-form form=&#8217;2&#8242;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist There have been many occasions in the past when a certain journalist has had nothing pleasant to report on. As he is young and relegated to covering such entities as social media, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[27370],"class_list":["post-106708","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boxing-news","tag-doctor-curmudgeon-uncensored"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106708","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=106708"}],"version-history":[{"count":-3,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106708\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=106708"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=106708"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=106708"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}