{"id":113085,"date":"2022-06-13T14:23:52","date_gmt":"2022-06-13T19:23:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=113085"},"modified":"2022-06-13T18:56:27","modified_gmt":"2022-06-13T23:56:27","slug":"doctor-cumudgeon-the-doctor-is-in-really","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=113085","title":{"rendered":"Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae The Doctor Is In! Really?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-1545664804358300\" crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\" style=\"display: block; text-align: center;\" data-ad-layout=\"in-article\" data-ad-format=\"fluid\" data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-1545664804358300\" data-ad-slot=\"8616314829\"><\/ins><br \/>\n<script>\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\n<\/script><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=113085\" rel=\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=113085\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-113086 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/unnamed-300x199.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/unnamed-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/unnamed.jpg 730w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cThese are the times that try men&#8217;s souls\u2026Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Somewhere the sun shines brightly on a television anchor. She is a characteristically buoyant journalist who, in these trying times, hears the words of Tom Paine echoing in her head.<\/p>\n<p>And so, she contacted her producer about the ending segment on her Friday evening newscast. They agreed that it was time for something lighter; something to end the horrific news week on a more educationally uplifting tone.<\/p>\n<p>This is a transcript of that segment:<\/p>\n<p>ANCHOR: \u201cTonight, we have Doctor Curmudgeon ready to answer your questions. Just call the number at the bottom of your screen. She is in Family practice and ready to speak with you. We want to emphasize that these are her opinions and not to be taken as medical advice until you have checked with your own physician.<br \/>\nCaller, you are on the air\u2026<\/p>\n<p>CALLER: \u201cHey, Doc. So glad I can finally get an answer to something that really has been bothering me. I\u2019ve thought about this for years. I even asked all my friends\u2026and my boyfriend\u2026and my co-workers\u2026they just don\u2019t know either. So, we\u2019re all listening in. Don\u2019t want to bother my own doc with this. You know how it is\u2026and\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC: \u201cAsk already!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER: \u201cHow often should I change my underwear?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC: (After a few second of silence) \u201cEvery time you pee.<\/p>\n<p>CALLER: \u201cMy wife is flying to a big wedding out of state with over one hundred people and most of them will not wear masks and only a few have been vaccinated. She wants me to go with her. I keep telling her not to go and I don\u2019t want to go. But she insists. What should I do?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC: \u201cDivorce her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER: \u201cWhy does my blood pressure go up whenever I stop taking my medicine?\u201d<br \/>\n(On camera, Doctor Curmudgeon is seen hiding her head face down on her desk as she disconnects the call)<\/p>\n<p>CALLER: \u201cMy daughter\u2019s pediatrician told her not to bring her pet snake with her to school and so we are mad at him and instead, she plans to bring her pet rats with her every day to keep her company.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC: \u201cIs that a question? Your pediatrician is a smart doc. Listen!!!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER: \u201cI am consulting with you today because I want to know\u2026how long can I go without taking a shower?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC: \u201cConsult with your dog.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER: \u201cI think I\u2019d like to be a doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC: \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER CONTINUES: \u201cBecause I look good in white. So, I want to know how I can do it more quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC CONTINUES: \u201cGo to medical school.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER CONTINUES TO CONTINUE: \u201cThat\u2019s too long. I have a life. I think I\u2019ll just call myself doctor. Bye.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER: \u201cMy family has been arguing about something and they decided that I should call you to settle it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC: \u201cMy ears are now perked up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER CONTINUES: \u201cDo we have to hold our breath when we flush the toilet?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC CONTINUES: \u201cAre you sticking your nose into the bowl below the water level?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER CONTINUING: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC CONTINUING: \u201cThen, just breathe\u2026like this\u2026in\u2026out\u2026in\u2026out\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>CALLER STILL CONTINUING: \u201cWait, Doc. I have another question. Which way are you supposed to have the roll of toilet paper go? I\u2019m told that the end has to be on top so you touch the rest of the roll less often.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>DOC PRESENTING FINAL ANSWER TO THE CALLER: \u201cYour question is so important that you must immediately, just as soon as you hang up, write a letter to the op-ed page of your local newspaper. Everybody worries about this and you are doing a public service in bringing this significant topic to the forefront of the news. Don \u2018t forget to mark this as urgent\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>ANCHOR AS SHE MUTES DOCTOR CURMUDGEON: \u201cThank you to all of our listeners. And thank you, Doctor Curmudgeon. We want to emphasize as strongly as possible that all opinions expressed by the good doctor are not those of anybody, in any way, even vaguely connected with this station. These are not the opinions of any of our advertisers. They are also not the opinions of any of our family members, friends or somebody in an outlying affiliate even remotely connected with this station. Those opinions are solely from Doctor Curmudgeon. Please consult your own physician for any medical concerns.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Curmudgeon suggests &#8220;Bitter Medicine\u201d, Dr. Eugene Eisman&#8217;s story of his experiences&#8211;from the humorous to the intense&#8212;as a young army doctor serving in the Vietnam War.<\/p>\n<p>Bitter Medicine by Eugene H. Eisman, M.D. &#8211;on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Bitter-Medicine-Doctors-Year-Vietnam\/dp\/0615874347\">Amazon<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n<p>SERMO <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sermo.com\">www.sermo.com<\/a> \u201ctalk real world medicine\u201d<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist \u201cThese are the times that try men&#8217;s souls\u2026Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered;\u201d Somewhere the sun shines brightly on a television anchor. She is a characteristically buoyant journalist who, in these [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":113086,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[29106],"class_list":["post-113085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-boxing-news","tag-doctor-curmudgeon-the-doctor-is-in-really"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=113085"}],"version-history":[{"count":-2,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113085\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/113086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=113085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=113085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=113085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}