{"id":29608,"date":"2013-06-12T23:04:56","date_gmt":"2013-06-13T03:34:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=29608"},"modified":"2013-06-12T23:11:46","modified_gmt":"2013-06-13T03:41:46","slug":"xbox-one-controversy-internet-big-brother-video-game-shocker-don-mattrick-is-assclown-of-the-month","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=29608","title":{"rendered":"Xbox One CONTROVERSY: Internet Big Brother VIDEO GAME SHOCKER: Don Mattrick is ASSCLOWN OF THE MONTH"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>By Georgie \u201cJustin\u201d Bieber (AKA \u2013 Joystick Georgie)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

OMG! Did you hear that this new fangled Xbox One needs to \u201cphone home\u201d every 24 hours via internet connection? Really? Really? Nice try fella, but I\u2019m not going to buy that system. No way\u2026no how! Even if the state offers it to me for free with my EBT card. I don\u2019t care! I\u2019m going to move onto the PS4. I used to have respect for Xbox\u2026that\u2019s right. I used to, but not anymore. Not since this \u201cDon Mattrick,\u201d the chief of interactive entertainment for Microsoft, put his customers on blast and said that if you don\u2019t have the internet to hook up your Xbox One full time, then get an Xbox 360. Really? Really? You\u2019re the assclown of the month and you\u2019re a typical keyboard warrior. YA HEARD!<\/p>\n

This is big brother. It reminds me of this fat guy that lives next door to me named \u201cAaron\u201d that tries to look into my bathroom window when I take a number two. He\u2019s into that stuff. I sprayed him in the peepers with some air freshener. He still bugs me but he is nowhere near the FOOL that Mattrick is.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m now officially an Xbox HATER. That\u2019s right\u2026you didn\u2019t read it wrong. I am a HATER of Xbox for their decision to put all of us no internet unless we\u2019re at the library gamers on blast! I ain\u2019t got no money\u2026and Target pays dick. I got my paycheck from Target and it was only 178 dollars for the week! What am I supposed to do with that? I can barely afford my dad\u2019s porn habit. He just sits in that pleather recliner and watches it and then I have to buy Windex and Kleenex too\u2026freaking guy says \u201coh this is leather,\u201d but it\u2019s called \u201cbonded leather\u201d\u2026in other words, \u201cPLEATHER!\u201d Freaking assclown drunk.<\/p>\n

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Are you going to buy an Xbox One?<\/strong><\/p>