{"id":30185,"date":"2013-07-03T16:05:23","date_gmt":"2013-07-03T20:35:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=30185"},"modified":"2013-07-03T16:05:23","modified_gmt":"2013-07-03T20:35:23","slug":"perfect-dark-nintendo-64-xbox-360-video-game-review-first-person-shooter-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=30185","title":{"rendered":"PERFECT DARK \u2013 Nintendo 64, Xbox 360 VIDEO GAME REVIEW \u2013 First Person Shooter Game"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>By Georgie \u201cJustin\u201d Bieber (AKA \u2013 Joystick Georgie)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

OK, I\u2019m in a Nintendo 64 mood. Sue me! Ja-ja\u2026he-he\u2026YA HEARD! It took me forever to find a Nintendo 64 at the Goodwill, but I have friends on the inside and when one showed up, they put it aside for me.<\/p>\n

One of my favorite games for the system is PERFECT DARK, a futuristic game where you play the role of Joanna Dark, an agent. Some men didn\u2019t like being a female, but not me. Hell, I wear women\u2019s clothing half the time I play the darn thing. Why would I mind you fool?!<\/p>\n

The game works a lot like GOLDEN EYE, that 64 game that has now made its way to Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and Nintendo Wii. It was the best first person shooter until this bad boy came out. PERFECT DARK has such a great array of weapons that you can never get sick of it. There\u2019s everything except for a dildo gun. Hell, you can pretend that the Dragon is shooting dildos across at your opponents, right? YA HEARD!<\/p>\n

Now to play the game, you need an \u201cexpansion pack,\u201d which you violently shove into the system. You just force it right in there. It can be exciting and expensive. I found my expansion pack for 50 cents on EBAY. Thankfully, I was able to collect enough can deposits to pay for it.<\/p>\n

Now there are seventeen missions and each one can be tricky. You have to shoot a lot of pricks right off of their crotches, problem solve, and have a little bit of luck on your side. This gamer loves the game play here and the graphics are top of the line for the year this came out (2000).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I see that it was released for Xbox Arcade, where you have to pay for it to play it on your Xbox 360. Really? Really? What, do you think I have money falling out of my ass? Gerbils maybe, but money? The 360 is like 300 bucks and then getting the Internet is another 30 bucks a month. The idiots at the library won\u2019t let me hook up a TV and Xbox here. And then I have to pay like 10 bucks for the game? What do you think Target pays me, and you can\u2019t buy video games with an EBT card!<\/p>\n

The multi-player is awesome. You can play up to 4 players with split screen and it is so much fun blowing each other. I used this one bouncing grenade to blow this guy right to kingdom come! Boom boom in the zoom zoom\u2026YA HEARD!<\/p>\n

This is really a perfect game. They came out with a game called \u201cPERFECT DARK ZERO\u201d for Xbox 360 as a launch title and they can launch it right up their ass. When Phil lived in my building, he bought the system and invited me over and I could not believe how horrible it was. I feel bad for Phil. They kicked him out when he banged the landlord\u2019s daughter. This gamer thinks that was a knee jerk reaction. They were both adults and both into those leather masks and swings.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So let\u2019s break this one down: JOYSTICK GEORGIE SAYS
\nGame Play \u20135\/5<\/strong><\/em><\/span>
\nGraphics \u2013 5\/5<\/strong><\/em><\/span>
\nFun Factor \u2013 5\/5<\/strong><\/em><\/span>
\nMakes me say \u201cYa Heard!\u201d \u2013 YES<\/strong><\/em><\/span>
\nVERDICT: LEGENDARY\u2013 Get it for your Xbox or your N64. YA HEARD! Release the dogs!<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Georgie \u201cJustin\u201d Bieber (AKA \u2013 Joystick Georgie) OK, I\u2019m in a Nintendo 64 mood. Sue me! Ja-ja\u2026he-he\u2026YA HEARD! It took me forever to find a Nintendo 64 at the Goodwill, but I have friends on the inside and when one showed up, they put it aside for me. One of my favorite games for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[8901,8902,8900,4442,2590],"class_list":["post-30185","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boxing-news","tag-first-person","tag-n64","tag-perfect-dark","tag-shooter","tag-video-game"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30185","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30185"}],"version-history":[{"count":-4,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30185\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30185"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30185"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30185"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}