{"id":69360,"date":"2017-10-24T15:24:46","date_gmt":"2017-10-24T20:24:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=69360"},"modified":"2017-10-24T16:13:38","modified_gmt":"2017-10-24T21:13:38","slug":"kaps-smoke-ring-vol-8-michael-pagedavid-haye-julian-williams-ishe-smith-eddie-hearn-jeff-horn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/?p=69360","title":{"rendered":"Kap\u2019s Smoke Ring Vol. 8: Michael Page\/David Haye, Julian Williams \u2013 Ishe Smith, Eddie Hearn, & Jeff Horn"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>\"\"<\/a>By \u201cKap\u201d Kaplowitz<\/strong><\/p>\n

Assuming my absence last week went detected by someone somewheres, I feel an explanation is in order. I wasn\u2019t here. It\u2019s personal, and as proof — I\u2019m a person. Hath not a ring-writer eyes? Hath not a ring-writer hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a non-ring-writer is? But this week I am back here at my home away from home, Ringside Report. Thanks for having me Mr. Berkwitt; and as always — it\u2019s always great to be had. Lemme light a nice \u2018nuff for the likes a\u2019 me cigar and hath at it…<\/p>\n

MMA GO AWAY (& YOU TOO, HAYE)<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Michael Page, an MMA fighter I have not heard of before, won his pro boxing debut via third-stanza knock-out of one Jonathan Castano in the Light Heavyweight division. The Brit done this in his Jolly Ol\u2019 home-country. London, specifically, govnah. Carrying his hands lower than his hips, the 30 year-old introduced his man to the canvas with a hard right. Castano, 2-11-1, 2 KO\u2019s regained his vertical-alignment before ten was counted, but the ref decided \u2018nuff had been seen. If this sounds somewhat less than the caliber of boxing that passes the sniff-test, please note that David Haye put the card to-gether. Stinky cheese, gentlepersons, stinky cheese.<\/p>\n

WILLIAMS VS SMITH? CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Televised on something called Bounce, which upon a few moments of Googling proves to not be a type of dryer sheet only, Julian Williams, 23-1-1, 15 KO\u2019s Vs Ishe Smith, 29-8, 12 KO\u2019s is set for November 18th Lost Wages.
\nThe mainly-passable-as-nigh-elite-154-pounders-as-long-as-there-are-no-follow-up-questions bout sees a 39 year-old former-champ Smith who\u2019s been in with the best and won on occasion, take on a top-ish young contender in 27 year-old Williams who suffered a knock-out loss against Jermall Charlo in his first step-up in class. He\u2019s already bounced back with a win over Joshua Conley, so this ain\u2019t a bounce-back per se. It\u2019s simply a real go-figure for both. In closing, bounce. And\/or Bounce.<\/p>\n

THE REDCOATS ARE COMING<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Eddie Hearn is a bloke whom plans big. No, bigger than big. He also drinks a lot of tea and is far from passionate in the sack, pardon my French. Pardon me altogether, as I seem to have drifted. He makes a lot of big plans. One he recently spoke of attempting to implement is a Deontay Wilder Vs Dillian Whyte bit of bloody row, chip chip cheerio, and all that rot — with his main-squeeze cash-cow Anthony Joshua getting fed the winner.<\/p>\n

The 38 year-old Brit\u2019s ultimate plan remains to conquer the American pugilism-for-profit market laid waste, in his calculations, by \u2018aging promoters.\u2019 Don King could not be reached for rebuttal, as his great grandkids still have not set up his AOL account. If you need me, I\u2019ll be dumping tea into Bahstan Hahbah.<\/p>\n

THURMAN TO BE ELECTED SENATOR OF PHILIPPINES?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Aussie Jeff Horn, 17-0-1, 11 KO\u2019s, through his blokes hath issued fair-thee-warning to Keith \u201cOne-Time\u201d Thurman, 28-0, 22 KO\u2019s: either zip his lip or share Manny Pacquiao’s fate. This sentiment was issued as a rebuttal to Thurman openly considering Horn a \u2018non-factor\u2019 in the Welterweight landscape. Horn\u2019s camp made clear that if Thurman wanted the fight, he\u2019d be more than welcome in Australia. They failed to speak to the likelihood of the gang heading over to the US, because whom would they be foolin\u2019? Plus, I hear the toilets flush backwards there\u2026 neat, that.<\/p>\n

Look, gentlepersons: Pac-man is shot, man. Still, Horn needed some home-cookin\u2019 help to get the decision. Now there\u2019s nary a word of the guy leaving the koalas and kangaroo confines. It\u2019s \u2018nuff to heat me, I tells ya. Actually, I think that\u2019s just the nub of this cigar creeping its glowing ash towards my knuckle-flesh. Looks like that\u2019ll do another week, gentlepersons. I do appreciate jotting yer collective vague directions after a week away. Till next week, keep yer chin tucked and doth read more Shakespeare, thou.<\/p>\n

To read and hear more of \u201cKap\u201d Kaplowitz:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

www.Kaplowitz.xyz <\/a>and Kaplowitz Radio are the blog (daily) and podcast (Sundays & Wednesdays) homes of \u201cKap\u201d Kaplowitz. In broad strokes, topics include: lifestyle, sports, and fashion. In more narrow strokes: cigars, boxing, baseball, and sweatpants. Want more? Advice and etiquette. Still more? Schtick Yiddish & Pig Shakespearean. Have you Kaplowitz\u2019d to-day? Every week, Kap will make an appearance here at Ringside Report; smoking a stogie and unloading his boxing brains.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n