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<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D.<\/strong><\/p>\nI know that many of you will not believe me.<\/p>\n
But, deep in my heart of hearts (whatever that means) I am well aware that the GPS does not like me. My car likes me. But not the GPS that it carries. In fact I am sure that my Subaru does not like its GPs either. I can say this with certainty because my Subaru is quite loyal to me and the other family members.<\/p>\n
It is just that darned GPS!
\nWe have a very poor relationship.<\/p>\n
Our latest conversation:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n GPS: “Keep to the right.”<\/strong><\/em> Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n
\nI then followed the instruction and turned right.
\nGPS: “Recalculating route.”<\/strong><\/em>
\nME: “What do you mean, ‘recalculating route?'”
\nGPS: You are going the wrong way.”<\/strong><\/em>
\nME: “I just followed your unclear direction.”
\nGPS: “Unclear? I clearly said keep to the right.”<\/strong><\/em>
\nME: “Well, I was already in the right hand lane, so I thought you were directing me to follow the lane going off to the right and getting me off the freeway.”
\nGPS: “I never said turn right. Don’t you understand that you were just to keep to the right?”<\/strong><\/em>
\nME: “What do you mean by keep to the right? I was already in the right hand lane and would have kept going straight and not taken a right turn if you hadn’t blurted out ‘keep to the right.'”
\nGPS: “First of all, I never BLURT. I give excellent clear directions. Secondly, I resent your tone.”<\/strong><\/em>
\nME: “Really? You resent my tone? Too bad about you. If you had just kept your big mouth shut and let me keep going I would have been OK. No need to screech, ‘keep to the right.’ What the heck does that mean?”
\nGPS: “I never screech. I converse in a well-modulated even voice…unlike you.”<\/strong><\/em>
\nME:” “I can’t believe this!!!! Being insulted my own GPS!”
\nGPS: “YOU ARE AN IDIOT!”<\/strong><\/em>
\nME: “SO ARE YOU!”<\/p>\n