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<\/a>By Bennett A. Bramson, MPA<\/strong><\/p>\nOn a daily basis, we hear, or are a party to (oops), a celebration, event, meal, or just any old reason to drink (alcohol). \u201cI\u2019ll drink to that,\u201d has become standard verbiage in our culture, which is all too consumed (pardon the pun) with the validity of drinking.<\/p>\n
We drink with meals, drink as an afternoon break, drink to your health (there\u2019s one of the world\u2019s greatest oxymorons), we drink at parties (hey, it\u2019s not a party without the booze), we drink to acknowledge, we drink in mourning, we drink at weddings, Bar\/Bat Mitzvah\u2019s, bris\u2019, Sweet Sixteen\u2019s, kid\u2019s graduations. Actually, we have become a society that will drink to anything (I\u2019ll drink to that).<\/p>\n
Now, this column is not meant to be a lecture, admonition, or proselytizing.<\/p>\n
It is simply a bit of a wake-up call to help you avoid some major problems such as: 1) Addiction 2) Personal issues, including abuse 3) Getting your ass kicked 4) Ending up in jail (which some of my previous wives and girlfriends have experienced, one or more times). 5) Shortening your life span (I\u2019m always enamored with how many \u201chealth buffs\u201d will lecture others and claim a healthy lifestyle (veganism, etc., EXCEPT for the alcohol they consume\u2026daily! 6) Losing your license (which some of my previous wives and girlfriends have experienced), your job, your family, your friends, your home.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can hold my liquor,\u201d is right up there with other famous quotes such as, \u201cI really do love you,\u201d \u201cMy payment is in the electronic email (formerly known as \u201cmy check is in the mail,\u201d and some others too crude to publish.<\/p>\n
But, perhaps we can all agree that short of an initial buzz, there is NOTHING positive about alcohol.<\/p>\n
It doesn\u2019t make us smarter, prettier, gentler, kinder, more creative, better drivers, better in bed, saner, more intuitive, more trusting, more caring, more understanding, more tolerant, or more pleasant. But it does make us UGLY and STUPID!<\/p>\n
In gatherings, friends like to revel each other with their stories of who partied the heartiest; some (those who can still recall) will share, with relish, a special affinity for that night (or nights) when they drank so excessively they puked their guts, brains, and other sundry parts up, and how much they regretted their behavior the next day. Remember, a hangover is your body\u2019s way of telling you what an idiot you are!<\/p>\n
Millennials have a special affinity for stupid drinking and have refined it to a weekend art of binging to see who can puke the most or come the closest to death by alcohol intoxication (and then are pleased to repeat this inane behavior in the ensuing weekends). Many a parent has had to lament bailing out a child or identifying a body at the morgue.<\/p>\n
As someone who has been involved with police departments and often does ride along\u2019s with our local law enforcement officers, I can share the differences between stopping drivers who are smoking pot and those who are drinking. (This is in no way a promotion or endorsement of either).<\/p>\n
Here are two real life scenarios: (You guess which one is an alcohol traffic stop and which is a marijuana stop).<\/p>\n
1) Officer: \u201cGood evening (sir\/ma\u2019am), I\u2019m Officer Friendly with the Basalt Police Department. Do you know why I stopped you this evening?\u201d
\nDriver: (This portion of the conversation can be slightly slurred and often slow) \u201cWow, dude\u2026was I going too fast? I\u2019m so sorry. I was at a friend\u2019s house and I just wanted to get home because I\u2019m so tired and am really hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n
I can probably stop this case here as I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve already guessed which mind-altering substance this involved.<\/p>\n
2) Officer: \u201cGood evening (sir\/ma\u2019am), I\u2019m Officer Friendly with the Basalt Police Department (before the office finishes their introductory statement, any one of the following may occur:<\/p>\n
Driver: \u201cFU \u2013 k you, you pig, I know when I\u2019m being harassed, you had no reason to stop me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Officer: \u201cSir\/ma\u2019am, in fact the reason I stopped you was because you were swerving, crossed two lanes of traffic without signaling, nearly hit another vehicle, and were speeding as you were doing 55 in a 30-mph zone. Have you been drinking?\u201d<\/p>\n
Driver: \u201cYou cops are all assholes. I didn\u2019t do anything wrong. I\u2019m suing you and the whole department for harassment. And, don\u2019t touch me! And, if you do, I\u2019ll kick your ass.\u201d<\/p>\n
I think you know which scenario this is and our public safety officials deal with this kind of belligerent, obnoxious, offensive, aggressive, and nasty behavior DAILY. (By the way these are really scenarios I witnessed).<\/p>\n
This case only gets worse once the suspect is ordered out of the vehicle, asked to do a roadside breathalyzer and sobriety test (Thank God for body and cruiser cams).<\/p>\n
I also have had first hand familial knowledge of the issue having lost a step father to alcoholism and a relationship to the disease, as well. I made every effort to support, defend, and assist this alcoholic person, only to have it backfire as I wasted a year of my life and thousands of dollars, including paying for counseling for them. Never again.<\/p>\n
Ever look at your prescription bottles and read the admonition? \u201cDo Not Take This Medication with Alcohol.\u201d<\/p>\n
The solution is not simple and not easy. I go to parties and out socially and often have to defend WHY I\u2019m not partaking in an alcoholic beverage, but short of one of the descriptions above, I will sometimes answer in jest: \u201cI don\u2019t drink anymore\u2026I don\u2019t drink any less.\u201d<\/p>\n
After a laugh from that cheeky response, I simply say, \u201cI prefer not to drink alcohol.\u201d And the glass I hold in my hand may be water, juice, ginger ale, or some virgin drink.<\/p>\n
But, I never worry about the drive home, or my conduct with others, or attending some sort of meetings to alleviate an addiction, or ending up in detox, or abusing my daughter, friends or others, or becoming nasty, loud, obnoxious, or vitriolic (oh, wait \u2013 those last ones are already my traits).<\/p>\n
This is not some holier than thou column meant to compare my perceptions and lifestyle with yours\u2026just some (sorry to say) sobering thoughts about an epidemic in our country over which we never seem to be able to get control. I care about YOU, dear reader.<\/p>\n
So, please\u2026get straight, get smart, and get safe.<\/p>\n
Till next time when we banter again\u2026<\/p>\n
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