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<\/a>By Bennett A. Bramson, MPA<\/strong><\/p>\nIt has filtered into films and commercials. It has become pervasive to the point of leaving people (especially me) scratching our collective heads in ignorance, as we seek to crack the code.<\/p>\n
What is this strange new language that requires deciphering? TWOAAA. The World of Acronyms, Abbreviations, and Absurdity. <\/p>\n
There was even a commercial on television for one of the cell phone service providers, where the little girl speaks to her Mom in acronyms, and we, the viewing audience, get the benefit of the acronym explanations in subtitles.<\/p>\n
I thought about writing this article entirely in acronyms, but you probably would have spent the better part of\u2026 a century, trying to decipher the code.<\/p>\n
Our children have developed an incredible grasp of language (their own), which has absolutely no correlation with the English language (or any other known language for that matter).<\/p>\n
Now everything is spelled with abbreviations, or acronyms. But, ask someone to actually spell correctly, use proper grammar, punctuation, or syntax? Not on your life. That\u2019s truly speaking a foreign language to them.<\/p>\n
We have become accustomed in our lives to things such as IRS, NASA, UPS, FedEx, and others as part of our everyday vernacular.<\/p>\n
In Aspen, almost everything uses, no requires, an acronym. Here\u2019s the first part of the test (for Aspenites only \u2013 answers at the end of the article):<\/p>\n
COWOP
\nASCAC
\nJAS
\nAMFS
\nACRA
\nAHS (2)
\nACIH
\nSAAB (no, not the car)
\nAAM<\/p>\n
How about acronyms used on a more global basis such as AIDS. (Did you know that there used to be a diet product called AIDS? \u2013 a virulent disease with the same name can certainly kill your business).<\/p>\n
Part II: If you are over the age of 30, these may be vaguely familiar. Try them on for size: (answers at the end of the column)<\/p>\n
SIDS
\nBYOB
\nTTFN
\nBFF
\nFUBAR (I won\u2019t reveal that one\u2026someone you know can explain)
\nADD
\nADHD
\nED (Here\u2019s a hint: Those people with Ph.D\u2019s in Education must cringe every time the commercials for Cialis or Viagra come on).<\/p>\n
One simple theory is that everyone today is in a hurry. We have to get there now, do it fast, succeed overnight, achieve instant gratification, forego foreplay, and get to the business at hand (no pun intended).<\/p>\n
However, I subscribe more to the theory of mind-over-matter.<\/p>\n
A generation ago (and before) we thought at 500 words per minute and spoke at 200 words per minute. We had a good mind\u2026and that\u2019s what mattered.<\/p>\n
Today, there is not that much that matters in this generations\u2019 small minds, so they think at 200 words per minute and speak at 500 words per minute, which requires frequent insertion of fillers (such as \u2018like,\u2019 \u2018you know\u2019 and \u2018ummm\u2019) and endless use of acronyms and abbreviations, to reduce the time needed to have a real conversation.<\/p>\n
The students I have taught at various universities are having to re-learn the English language in order to communicate without the likes, umms, and you-knows. My particular favorite is interviews on ESPN (another acronym) with athletes earning millions of dollars.<\/p>\n
Broadcaster: \u201cYou led an incredible come back with only 10 seconds left to pull out the victory. What do you think helped the sudden change in momentum?\u201d<\/p>\n
Athlete: (stated in a grunting voice): Well, you know, it was real hard, but you know, we tried hard and you know, we are a team, you know, so we, like, came back as a team, you know?<\/p>\n
DYUTWTACOOMM? (Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth)?<\/p>\n
But, I can\u2019t even begin to list the acronyms and abbreviations which have become so commonplace they have virtually taken the place of language.<\/p>\n
Oh, so here are the answers to your quizzes – For Aspenites:<\/p>\n
COWOP \u2013 Convenience or Welfare of the Public (really, I served on one of these committees)
\nASCAC \u2013 Aspen Snowmass Cultural Affairs Commission (sounds like an insurance commercial with a duck)
\nJAS \u2013 Jazz Aspen Snowmass
\nAMFS \u2013 Aspen Music Festival and School (known as the Fest or Music Associates to ol\u2019 timers)
\nACRA \u2013 Aspen Chamber Resort Association (sounds like something going bad in the fridge)
\nAHS (2) \u2013 Aspen Historical Society and Aspen High School
\nACIH \u2013 Aspen Center for Integral Health (oops, gone)
\nAYE \u2013 Aspen Youth Experience (oops, gone)
\nSAAB (no, not the car) \u2013 Snowmass, Aspen, Aspen Highlands, Buttermilk
\nAAM \u2013 Aspen Art Museum<\/p>\n
And, Part II: Other world acronyms.<\/p>\n
SIDS \u2013 Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (and I know so many nice guys named Sid)
\nBYOB \u2013 Bring Your Own Booze
\nTTFN \u2013 Ta-Ta for Now (wouldn\u2019t bye be much easier)
\nBFF \u2013 Best Friends Forever
\nFUBAR (I won\u2019t reveal that one\u2026someone you know can explain)
\nADD \u2013 Attention Deficit Disorder (and I thought it was as simple as 1 = 1)
\nADHD \u2013 Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (a way to spice up the previous \u2013
\none-upmanship)
\nED \u2013 Erectile Dysfunction<\/p>\n
So, what\u2019s a thinking person to do? Chalk it up to age, generation gap, ignorance (on my part), or just an inability to keep up with the inevitable changes?<\/p>\n
No, I have found a much simpler solution that enables me not to internalize and agonize over this kind of inane issue.<\/p>\n
I just LOL\u2026and walk away! (That\u2019s Laughing Out Loud for you non-computer types).<\/p>\n
KOB – Keep on bantering!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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