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<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman M.D. FAAFP<\/strong><\/p>\nWhatever you do, do not give me advice on how to treat my cold or viral infestation.<\/p>\n
I was snarling my way through charts, paperwork and other administrative garbage…when suddenly it struck!<\/p>\n
That first tickle in my nose. Then many more sneezes followed. And then I felt a tad yucky. Sudden onset. No allergens around. A virus had grabbed me.<\/p>\n
Masked up, I continued through my day. And when people inquired about my mask, I explained that I had a simple cold. It was then that I, a small, irritable physician, became bombarded with advice:<\/p>\n
“Chomp on garlic.<\/p>\n
“You should never had had the flu vaccine.<\/p>\n
“The vaccine caused your cold<\/p>\n
“You are too nasty to chiropractors<\/p>\n
“You need more sleep<\/p>\n
“You eat too much chocolate and it is bad for you<\/p>\n
“You drink coffee and it is bad for you.”<\/p>\n
And so I just grinned and bore the comments until the end of the day.<\/p>\n
By that evening, I felt a bit worse with that stuffy old nose and was grateful that the next day was my day off. I took Sambucol (elderberry extract) and lots of fluid and expected to be better in a day or two.<\/p>\n
Wrong!<\/p>\n
The cough began and then a slightly elevated temp<\/p>\n
Exhaustion followed<\/p>\n
Did not go to the office and my partner covered my patients.<\/p>\n
Could not work out and my elliptical gathered dust.<\/p>\n
But, no myalgias…just coughing and exhaustion<\/p>\n
Not influenza, just one of the many viruses roaming around.<\/p>\n
Yuck of all yucks!<\/p>\n
So many viruses around us. Just too numerous to count.<\/p>\n
Tired and at home, I thought I could do some work at my computer.<\/p>\n
I stumbled down the stairs and….<\/p>\n
The computer was too sick to boot up! It had deserted me in my hour of need.<\/p>\n
Oh, pish posh. I just have to interrupt here. I am Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae’s much aligned and too often blamed computer.<\/p>\n
Yes, I had a virus.<\/p>\n
And it is all her fault!<\/p>\n
I am sure she gave it to me.<\/p>\n
She does not treat me well.<\/p>\n
She eats cookies and crumbs go all over my keyboard<\/p>\n
She never compliments me.<\/p>\n
She is so ungrateful for all the support I give her.<\/p>\n
Yes!<\/p>\n
I caught her virus.<\/p>\n
And she should just stop complaining.<\/p>\n
She is lucky that I don’t give that virus back to her!<\/p>\n
Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n