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<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\nWith everything that is happening on this planet at this time in this specific universe\u2026every extra irritation is more than just a blip.<\/p>\n
To a human being who has been cranky since childhood, little things create big vexations.<\/p>\n
Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae now maintains a higher than normal level of pique, impatience and exasperation.<\/p>\n
Long had the GPS in her car raised her degree of infuriation. It would frequently present her with such imprecise instructions as \u201ckeep to the right;\u201d when if she had veered off to the right, she would have been off the freeway. The ridiculous voice meant \u201cstay on the straightaway.\u201d But it was unable to say that clearly.<\/p>\n
GPs supposedly stands for Global Positioning System. But for a geographically challenged person with no idea of location; who is delighted to be able to find her way back and forth to her office \u2013GPS is not intuitive,. She needs clear instructions such as
\nIn two blocks you will see a drugstore that says, People\u2019s Pockets,
\nDo not turn right at that corner.
\nSlay in the right hand lane
\nOn the block after People\u2019s Pockets, you will see a gas station with
\nOne person who is six feet tall, wearing a blue t Shirt
\nAt that corner, you make a right hand turn
\nCount six stores and the seventh is your destination
\nHowever, it is now closed.
\nSo\u2026go home\u2026and do not take off your mask until you are
\nInside the house.<\/p>\n
However, instead of such clear directions, her GPs just keeps repeating: \u201cRedirecting route. Calculating new Route. Listen up, you idiot!\u201d<\/p>\n
And Siri? Don\u2019t even ask. We have a dysfunctional relationship.<\/p>\n
Several years ago, a close friend who is a physician, medical educator, researcher and mother of several children was scheduled to speak at a conference in Boston. In my text to her, I used SIRI and said, \u201cI do hope you get a rest in Boston.\u201d And, of course, I did not read it until after it was sent and SIRI (whom I am now certain does not like me at all) had written \u201cI do hope you arrested in Boston.\u201d<\/p>\n
But the worst Siri relationship that Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae ever heard about was from another doctor., This woman was texting away to an attorney who had helped her and, of course, after it had been sent\u2026she read\u2026.with horror:<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you so much\u2026you douche!\u201d<\/p>\n
Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n