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<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\nThe sharp persistent buzz of a beeper message awakened Doctor Curmudgeon\u2019s cell phone. Grabbing her alarm clock first, she stared at its face. 10AM! Who or what could possibly be bothering her at this hour!
\nWith the office temporarily closed, she had taken to advance her usual awakening time from 6:15 to 10:46. This was quite a natural and logical happening as she had always been a \u201cnight owl.\u201d And now, left to her own devices, a normal bedtime would occur naturally between 1:15AM and 1:45AM.<\/p>\n
Checking the message: \u201cPlease call your patient. He did not leave a name. He said you knew his name. He was gracious enough to leave a number and He said it is not urgent but he needs to know something today. With apologies from your loyal answering service. His number is\u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n
For those who know the good doctor, a message of that ilk is not a great way to start her day. A debate ensued between the alarm clock and the physician.<\/p>\n
Actually, it was the beeper cell phone message that won.
\nAnd so the physician dialed the patient\u2019s number.
\n\u201cHi, Doc.\u201d
\n\u201cYes,\u201d answered Doctor Curmurdgeon
\n\u201cSoooo\u2026how are you doing?\u201d
\nWith a smidgeon of attitude in her voice, Doctor Curmudgeon responded, \u201cwhy are you calling me?\u2019
\n\u201cYou sound quite icky-picky, Doc.\u201d
\n\u201cFortunately, I have never encountered icky-picky. Why are you calling? Twenty words or less and then I am hanging up?\u201d
\n\u201cI just need to know who\u2019s streaming you.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat on earth are you jabbering about?\u201d
\n\u201cDoc,\u201d cajoled the voice
\n\u201cListen to me. You have not even had the courtesy to give me your name. Your twenty words are almost up. Quick! Talk!\u201d
\nThe voice continued, \u201cAwwww Doc. You know me. I\u2019m Quimsey Carbuncle.\u201d
\nGritting her death, Doctor Curmudgeon responded, \u201cSo?\u201d
\n\u201cI just wanted to know which channel was streaming you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Throwing her old, battle scarred baseball (which always resided on her bedside table) against the wall\u2026.as if it was an opening day wild pitch, she answered, \u201cI have no idea why you have annoyed me early on a Saturday morning. This is not an emergency. I am now giving you the courtesy of notifying you in advance that I am about to hang up\u2026.\u201d
\n\u201cWait, Doc,\u201d Mr. Carbuncle, quickly cut in. \u201cIt was just an email that Getafix was going to stream doctors now.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat an insane thought!\u201d
\n\u201cBut, doc, this is a service for your patients!\u201d
\nDoctor Curmudgeon took a deep breath before responding.
\n\u201cGet a life! Wear a mask! No handshakes! Pet your furry friend! Use your treadmill! Or walk back and forth in your house! Do some pushups! Shut up! Only call for emergencies, refills or appointments! You\u2019ve been streamed!\u201d<\/p>\n