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<\/a>By Donald \u201cBraveheart\u201d Stewart<\/strong><\/p>\nMr Trump is stumped. He thinks to himself, I am stumped. But then thinks. I am good at being stumped. I am probably the best at being stumped. Nobody gets stumped as good as I get stumped.
\nPicture the scene\u2026<\/p>\n
Mr Trump is standing across from an aide called Mr Orange. That is not his real name. Mr Trump just calls him that because he can\u2019t remember anyone\u2019s name. In fact, since he started at the Not So White House, they keep changing what Mr Orange looks like and he thinks he must have a word with someone about that.<\/p>\n
This Mr Orange is being really irritating because he is not understanding what Mr Trump wants.<\/p>\n
\u201cMr President,\u201d says Mr Orange. \u201cI have asked the nurse to join us.\u201d<\/p>\n
At first Mr Trump gets confused because nursey only usually comes in on quiet time alone and then does things that he can\u2019t quite remember but she tells him he enjoys them afterwards, when he awakes\u2026<\/p>\n
The door opens and the nurse enters along with the rest of the aides who are curious as to why the nurse has been summoned. Mr Trump does also like an audience.<\/p>\n
The nurse looks at Mr Trump and puts her head coquettishly to one side. She knows this makes him\u2026 pliable\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cYou need to speak to this idiot,\u201d says Mr Trump and he points directly at Mr Orange.<\/p>\n
The nurse smiles like she is talking to an idiot. A perfect stance to take in the given circumstances.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd why, Mr President, is he an idiot?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe can\u2019t find my stamps, you know, the ones with my head on them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr Orange, the aide thinks by explaining things to the nurse this would clear things up. He starts, \u201cI was trying to explain to the President that you don\u2019t get your head on a stamp until\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLeft hand side of the desk, top drawer.\u201d The nurse cuts the aide off mid sentence.<\/p>\n
Mr Trump looks confused. \u201cI thought all our stuff is in the bottom drawer.\u201d He then sniggers in a childlike manner and repeats the word, \u201cbottom.\u201d Like a Minion.<\/p>\n
The rest of the aides in the room giggle nervously, unsure if it is a real joke or something, they shouldn\u2019t laugh about which makes it even funnier.<\/p>\n
The nurse coughs loudly to clear up any confusion and everyone stops laughing immediately.<\/p>\n
She asks Mr Trump.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you going to be using your stamps?\u201d<\/p>\n
By now Mr Trump has opened the right desk drawer and taken out a sheet of bright purple and pink crayoned stickers that have a strange orange head on them; the likeness is uncanny.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have to vote,\u201d says Mr Trump.<\/p>\n
One of his political aides steps in. He storms to the front of the group but does not manage to beat the nurse who has a foot placed nicely to the side of herself over which he trips but she catches him just before he hits the deck. Mr Trump laughs. He looks at the nurse and asks, \u201cCan the funny man do that again?\u201d She shakes her head whilst turning the man over in one quick maneuver that makes her look like she has just fallen out of a movie franchise and was one of Charlie\u2019s girls.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think, Mr President, that he was about to say that he felt it would be awkward if you told people that they should not use postal votes for absentee voting but you are using them.\u201d<\/p>\n
At that Mr Trump straightens himself up and delivers an address. He knows that when there are buzz words being spoken about, he needs to be confident, authoritative and speak big; in an outside voice, even if he is inside. And he is inside but he says, \u201cI have no issue with absentee voting. I use it. Universal mail-in voting is going to be catastrophic. It’s going to make our country the laughing stock of the world. The problem with the mail-in voting, number one, is you’re never going to know when the election is over.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut the announcement at the end of the day when all the votes are counted means it is over,\u201d says the aide currently in the clutches of the nurse through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n
Mr Trump squints at the funny man again and continues, \u201cThe result of November’s vote might not be known for months or for years, because these ballots are going to be lost, they’re going to be gone”.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut Mr Trump, if you yourself use the system what is wrong with the system? It won\u2019t benefit either side and you could come up with a deal with the Democrats to make it work,\u201d continues the aide who is struggling now to breathe. The nurse notices this and moves her thumb a quarter inch so that he can at least get some air.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt helps the Democrats. They need to make the post office work so it can take all of these millions and millions of ballots. Now, if we don’t make a deal, that means they don’t get the money. That means they can’t have universal mail-in voting, they just can’t have it.”<\/p>\n
There is a bell from somewhere in the Not So White House that goes off as the nurse drops the aide to the floor. The place swarms with secret service guys as there is a report of a man with a gun outside the Not So White House who might want to do the President damage. Despite all sympathies being with the unknown gunman, aides, secret service and the nurse start to usher Mr Trump out of the Not So White House.<\/p>\n
Well, thinks the nurse, as she is helping down towards the door, maybe this is the only way to get him out of here\u2026<\/p>\n
Just then the all clear is sounded over the radios. The gunman has been captured.<\/p>\n
You can almost hear every inner voice screaming, damn, maybe next time\u2026<\/p>\n
The nurse tries one more time with logic. \u201cMr President, if you think the mail will get lost with the votes why do you think your vote will get through?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr Trump looks at her as if she is stupid. \u201cEasy,\u201d he says. \u201cIt has my head on the stamp. Aint nobody going to lick that for voting.\u201d<\/p>\n
The nurse makes a mental note to double tonight\u2019s sedative and smiles before leaving. Just as she is, she checks the bottom drawer. The lock is still firmly fixed in place. Secrets are safe for now\u2026<\/p>\n
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an almost original tale, any similarities to persons real or imagined are deliberate. However as there is little or no evidence that Mr Trump has drawn his own stamp, as far as he is aware, this is clearly fictional and never actually happened, though many of the quotes are unfortunately not made up.<\/p>\n
The fact is that during the week Donald Trump spoke of how he uses the postal system to vote and will stop Democrats from doing so if he is able. There was also a report of a lone gunman trying to get into the White House. He didn\u2019t manage. Some people thought, better luck next time. Democrats would not like to lose the opportunity of voting the man out however\u2026<\/p>\n
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[AdSense-A] By Donald \u201cBraveheart\u201d Stewart Mr Trump is stumped. He thinks to himself, I am stumped. But then thinks. I am good at being stumped. I am probably the best at being stumped. Nobody gets stumped as good as I get stumped. Picture the scene\u2026 Mr Trump is standing across from an aide called Mr […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22247,18030],"tags":[23290],"class_list":["post-92702","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-political-columns","category-world-news","tag-donald-trump-posts-a-letter-breaking-world-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92702","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=92702"}],"version-history":[{"count":-2,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92702\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=92702"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=92702"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=92702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}