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<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\nThe doorbell jarred Doctor Curmudgeon away from her crossword puzzle (performed in ink, of course)<\/p>\n
Sir Galahad (the Siberian Husky who runs the Curmudgeon household in all its aspects) said through the closed front door, \u201cPlease, just leave it on the doorstep.\u201d<\/p>\n
During these bizarre times, it was necessary for the Husky to assume the mantle of Director of Family Health and Safety.<\/p>\n
Using the necessary precautions, the package was opened and found to contain a beautiful gift box enclosed in purple tissue paper (one of the curmudgeon\u2019s favorite colors)<\/p>\n
The cranky one grabbed the card, and it said, \u201cNothing but the truth, the whole truth, always.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rattling the box, she realized that it did not sound like a book. Books were always so welcome!<\/p>\n
Patiently, Gally watched as the curmudgeon continued to shake the box.<\/p>\n
Finally, Doctor Curmudgeon thrust the box at Sir Galahad, \u201cPlease, you open it. You know I make a mess of opening boxes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2018True,\u2019 thought the Husky.<\/p>\n
And inside was a T shirt, long and baggy, one hundred percent cotton.<\/p>\n
Holding it up so that the doctor could read it, the words were:<\/p>\n
SARCASTIC?
\nME?
\nNEVER!<\/p>\n
Scrunching up her eyes, Doctor Curmudgeon indignantly uttered, \u201cMe? Sarcastic?\u201d<\/p>\n
From having watched many a British TV series, the Husky had learned to \u201ckeep a stiff upper lip.\u201d<\/p>\n
Noting his silence, Doctor Curmudgeon blurted out, \u201cAm I really so sarcastic that a dear friend sent me this T shirt?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLovingly, of course,\u201d responded Sir Galahad.<\/p>\n
Nodding her head, \u201cOh yes, lovingly, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut, Gally, doesn\u2019t good quality sarcasm also imply truth?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot necessarily,\u201d responded the Siberian Husky. \u201cHowever, I do believe that Oscar Wilde can be quoted as commenting, \u2018Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit\u2026but the highest form of intelligence.\u2019\u201d.<\/p>\n
Grabbing her IPAD and googling away, Doctor Curmudgeon said, \u201cLook here, Gally. Good old Wikipedia says, \u2018The word comes from the Greek \u03c3\u03b1\u03c1\u03ba\u03b1\u03c3\u03bc\u03cc\u03c2 (sarkasm\u00f3s) which is taken from \u03c3\u03b1\u03c1\u03ba\u03ac\u03b6\u03b5\u03b9\u03bd (sark\u00e1zein) meaning “to tear flesh, bite the lip in rage, sneer\u2019\u201d
\nPatting the Doctor\u2019s unruly hair, Galahad said \u201cHowever, your sarcasm is a much kinder, gentler version.\u201d
\nNodding her head in agreement, Doctor Curmudgeon commented that she used sarcasm as a means of making a point. She did not intend to sneer.
\nThe innocent T shirt was being crumpled into a mess in the curmudgeon\u2019s hands. Galahad gently removed it.
\nAs he padded away bearing the T shirt he was heard to mumble: \u201cIf the T Shirts fits, just wear it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n