![\"\"](\"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/ubm-photo-201x300.jpg\")
<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\nSir Galahad, Protector of the Welsh Faerie People (to present his full title, as his knighthood was legitimate, bestowed upon him by the Welsh Faerie People), is a Siberian Husky of great renown: for all his good deeds, speaking engagements, lecturing, books and articles on a vast array of subjects.<\/p>\n
Galahad, or Gally as he is affectionately and respectfully known, is the Major Domo of the Curmudgeon household, and a beloved furry family member.<\/p>\n
However, keeping an eye on the small physician, Doctor Curmudgeon, can be a rather daunting task.<\/p>\n
The Husky was on the second floor of their townhouse relaxing and reading when he heard high pitched shrieks coming from the first floor.<\/p>\n
The irritable one (more so in recent times) was yowling into the phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cCustomer service! Representative! Person!\u201d<\/p>\n
After this had gone one for a few minutes, Gally realized he was needed. Padding softly down the stairs, he approached the desk where Doctor Curmudgeon continued to verbally abuse her IPhone.<\/p>\n
Placing a forepaw on her shoulder for comfort, he said \u201cYou know\u2026screaming does not help. Patience is necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n
Holding onto his paw for support, she said, \u201cOh, Gally, you understand how frustrating it is. I spend hours and hours and hours on this phone for just one thing. And hours\u2026and hours\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
Galahad sat beside her as she continued her siege, shrieking into the phone. \u201cHuman being! Human being! Non-robot\u201d<\/p>\n
Finally, a voice responded to her anguished screeches, \u201cI am here. What is your problem? Press 1 if you are happy\u2026happy\u2026happy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are a robot!. I want a human being. I want something that is not electronic, not programmed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am here. How can I help?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are not human. You have no cardiovascular system. You have no gastrointestinal system. Where are your neurons?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hearing this, Sir Galahad realized that this was indeed a dire situation. He began to reach into his back pack.<\/p>\n
To the physician\u2019s surprise the metallic voice acknowledged her anguished wails, \u201cHow would I know if I am not human? You do not know what I go through; my programming does not have answers. I do not know what you mean. I will end this call.\u201d<\/p>\n
Before the angry one could throw her phone against the wall, Gally had a solution.<\/p>\n
Musing to himself how other canines had carried rescue whisky in flasks for their non-furry families and friends, he had the Curmudgeon family solution.<\/p>\n
From his rescue pack, he produced an extra-large piece of dark chocolate.<\/p>\n
And all was well again<\/p>\n
Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n