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<\/a>By Bethany \u201cBST2\u201d Armstrong<\/strong><\/p>\nWhile I\u2019m sifting through my trauma, trying to excise the bile and pus from my soul, I\u2019m finding healing memories as well. My Dad recently was diagnosed with cancer, had surgery a week later, and is now preparing for chemo and radiation, in the midst of a pandemic. Yoinks.. It\u2019s time to poke at the Daddy Wound, get that pus out, and focus on healing. We both deserve it.<\/p>\n
My humor is shaped from my Dad\u2019s brand of mischievous, dark, more-than-a-little mean from time-to-time, wickedly witty, observations of humanity. I was often the target of his mirth but I tickled his funny bone every time I turned it back on him.<\/p>\n
I was always an insomniac to some degree. The advent of Nick At Night was a Saving Grace during turbulent teen years. The Patty Duke Show was one of my favorites and a catch-phrase from it was \u201cFather Figure\u201d. The \u201cfather figure\u201d\/Dad\/Uncle of the show would display annoyance when he was called \u201cfather figure.\u201d. A look of \u201cI know you\u2019re insulting me but I\u2019m not quite sure how\u201d on his face. A real Cats in the Cradle moment.<\/p>\n
Father Figure has such a lovely sound, the alliteration of it, the beat of the syllables. Even as a young teen I was amused by the Parental Unit\u2019s befuddlement at the slightly subtle dig. Dad is the name for a cuddly, involved, emotionally mature masculine parental unit whereas the name Father demands respect and authority. The word Figure means a representation of something. It\u2019s literally saying, \u201cI acknowledge that you are the representation of a masculine authority over me\u201d and it implies the character both appreciates and resents it. It says, \u201cYou\u2019re no Dad but you\u2019re an acceptable stand in.\u201d
\nI half-expected it to go right over his head the first time I sniped it out. My dad is a farmer, a man\u2019s man, a literal redneck. And I was a defiant, chubby lil hellion who defied understanding.<\/p>\n
It did not fly over his head. I got a narrowing of eyes, a grunt of amusement, and a nod acknowledging \u201cI may not be the father you want kid, but I\u2019m tryin\u2019.\u201d I got a taste of respect and a lesson about underestimating the intellect of others.<\/p>\n
Most of my happy memories of my masculine authority figure are flashes. Playing catch in the front yard. Showing animals in 4-H. Homemade ice cream in the draft horse tents at the fairground. Camping. Chasing escaped animals. Riding a motorcycle. Hearing him laugh about how brave (foolhardy?) I was trying to surf down our hill next to the front door on a dinky plastic sled. Hay rides. The joy he gets from giving Christmas gifts. Listening to really bizarre songs \u2013 My Uncle Used to Love Me But She Died \u2013 and watching so many sitcoms, and stand-ups, and Westerns, and Leslie Neilson movies while eating popcorn with butter and parmesan for dinner. Though the majority of my memories are of his absence, his distance; these tiny blips of wholesome memories are glitter on a blank canvas.<\/p>\n
I hope I can focus on the glitter, the beauty of what he gave me. How he found humor in my rebellions and encouraged my independence. How he slipped me a $20 for gas here and there when I got my first apartment. How every time I visit as an adult, I leave with tons of meat. How he called me \u201cBessy-gator\u201d as a term of endearment. How he asked me goofy questions and really listened to my answers. How he allowed me to save face and preserve my dignity sometimes while others he mocked me for having to \u201ceat crow.\u201d How he gave me a taste for Bloody Mary\u2019s and White Caucasians. How he gave a narrow-eyed chuckle every time I called him \u201cFather Figure\u201d<\/p>\n
My Dad is not a simple man. He\u2019s both stoic and mischievous. He\u2019s charming; he can talk to anyone and make them feel at ease. He\u2019s not the kind of man to say \u201cI love you\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m proud of you.\u201d He\u2019s the kind of man who shows it and leaves it for you decipher, He\u2019s a good man. He didn\u2019t always know what to do with a daughter like me, but he tried so very hard. The glitter is pretty gorgeous.<\/p>\n
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[AdSense-A] By Bethany \u201cBST2\u201d Armstrong While I\u2019m sifting through my trauma, trying to excise the bile and pus from my soul, I\u2019m finding healing memories as well. My Dad recently was diagnosed with cancer, had surgery a week later, and is now preparing for chemo and radiation, in the midst of a pandemic. Yoinks.. It\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[24409],"class_list":["post-96752","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boxing-news","tag-memories-of-my-father-figure"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96752","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=96752"}],"version-history":[{"count":-2,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96752\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=96752"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=96752"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ringsidereport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=96752"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}