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<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\nSuch a lovely evening.<\/p>\n
Doctor Curmudgeon began setting up her comfort paraphernalia on the little terrace just off the kitchen.<\/p>\n
This was an important maneuver on her part. In this way, she would be close when Hero Doctor (her husband and Cardiologist partner) was ready to serve dinner to the Curmudgeon household.<\/p>\n
She brought her lovely embossed stationery. It was triple thick, medium cream in color, with her name at the top, printed in Lucinda handwriting. Her stationery was bordered in a slender stripe of rich purple. The envelopes, of course, matched.<\/p>\n
Checking to see that her Meisterst\u0169k fountain pain was filled with ink, she uttered a happy sigh.<\/p>\n
Next, she lovingly opened the old case that had carried her Smith Corona through high school and college.<\/p>\n
How comforting, she thought, to know that, at this moment in time, her only decision was to type out the letter of recommendation for a former student and then to take her magnificent pen in hand to write a thank you note and address other personal correspondence.<\/p>\n
Sir Galahad (The elegant Siberian Husky who was the Major Domo in the Curmudgeon home), always gracious, as was his wont, had been tutoring a young neighbor, a second year college student who had some difficulty with English composition. The young man had been invited into the kitchen for some apr\u00e8s study chocolate chip cookies<\/p>\n
Glancing to the terrace, he was intrigued by a strange looking object on the little table. It appeared to be some kind of machine.<\/p>\n
Opening the glass door, the student asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Turning her head, Doctor Curmudgeon muttered, \u201cWhat on earth are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n
Pointing to her old manual Smith Corona typewriter, he continued, \u201cThat thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Resuming her typing, the physician said, \u201cA typewriter.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s a typewriter? Is it something new? Is it wireless? I don\u2019t see any power cords. How does it work?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cListen up\u2026.watch me\u2026you just press down on the keys and it prints on the paper.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut how do you save it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t\u201d<\/p>\n
Feeling it would be useless to discuss carbon paper, Doctor Curmudgeon resumed her typing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI really don\u2019t understand. Where is the screen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo screen,\u201d grunted the doctor.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut how do you see what is being printed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Muttering \u2018idiot\u2019 under her breath, she answered as nicely as she could, \u201cYou look at the paper you are typing on.\u201d<\/p>\n
Being a keen observer, the physician noticed that the student appeared perplexed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019 a letter to a friend about a recommendation and it is just too long to write by hand, so I am typing it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWrite by hand? How do you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Pointing to her beloved fountain pen, she continued, \u201cI just pick up my pen and write. See. I am writing the address on an envelope and then I write my return address here at the top left hand corner. I will then place a stamp in the upper right hand corner\u2026and voil\u00e0 \u2026done.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWow, that\u2019s a pretty pen. Never seen one like that. Almost too nice looking to throw away when it\u2019s out of ink. Do they come in a pack?\u201d<\/p>\n
Running out of patience, she screeched, \u201cNo! No pack. You just fill it with ink\u2026and reuse it\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut that writing on the envelope\u2026is it a foreign language? How can you read it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cListen up\u2026and a pox on that school that poorly educated you\u2026it\u2019s just cursive writing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hearing the volume escalation of the conversation, Galahad rushed to the terrace to grab the student\u2019s arm and escort him out before he asked Doctor Curmudgeon about the Pickett circular slide rule, the student was now pointing at.<\/p>\n
Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n