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<\/a>By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist\/cardiologist<\/strong><\/p>\n“The time has come,” the Walrus said,<\/strong><\/em> With heartfelt apologies to Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson), I begin my weekly diatribe with a quote from one of this curmudgeon\u2019s favorite poems, \u201cThe Walrus and the Carpenter.\u201d<\/p>\n However rather than talking of \u201cmany things,\u201d I find myself impelled to talk of one specific thing lurking in my tortured mind: those crowd-internet-social platform-driven people who refuse vaccinations and the COVID-19 vaccination specifically.<\/p>\n It is indeed beyond my Ken!<\/p>\n I harken back to my days in college at the University of Chicago.<\/p>\n There was a marvelous series of books that we discussed: \u201cExtraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds.\u201d<\/p>\n This series, from the brain of a Scottish journalist, Charles Mackay, was an early study in the psychology of the crowd mentality.<\/p>\n I humbly quote from the preface to his first volume:<\/p>\n \u201cThe object of the author\u2026has been to collect the most remarkable instances of those moral epidemics\u2026to show how easily the masses have been led astray\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n This prompted me to think about some of the objections my patients present as to why they are against the COVID-19 vaccine.<\/p>\n A common popular delusion has been that the vaccine will give them COVID.<\/p>\n NO! IT WON\u2019T, I shout and then give a simple explanation of the vaccine\u2019s composition. I screech that there is no virus or virus particle in the vaccine\u2026and yet I am not believed.<\/p>\n This idiocy that the vaccine can cause COVID has been dispersed throughout the ether and therefore it must be so!<\/p>\n And yet, another popular delusion: \u201cThat darn vaccine just can\u2019t be safe. I thought it took years of testing and millions and millions of people.\u201d<\/p>\n Untrue!<\/p>\n The genetic code of that beastly interloper was published by scientists very quickly so that the vaccine could be produced quickly. Years and years had already been spent in learning how to make MRNA vaccines. MRNA vaccines are not newcomers on the block.<\/p>\n The FDA and CDC and lots of other experts have looked at the data before the vaccine could be considered safe. So there!<\/p>\n More popular delusions? Well, here\u2019s a good one. \u201cThat dang shot\u2019s going to change my DNA. And I like my DNA just the way it is.\u201d<\/p>\n Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! The MRNA doesn\u2019t touch your DNA. It doesn\u2019t even want to get near your DNA. It just gives your immune system a blueprint to fight that killer virus that now lives amongst us!<\/p>\n I have saved one of the best reasons to avoid the vaccine for the last. \u201cListen, Doc, I\u2019ve been hearing that the shot puts a microchip into your body.\u201d<\/p>\n That one was too much for a curmudgeon, so I just said, \u201cListen, all you have to do is buy the largest roll of aluminum foil you can find and wrap up in it. Don\u2019t even take it off to shower or bathe.<\/p>\n When you get out of the shower, just quickly dispose of the foil you have worn and put it in five layers of those heavy trash bags. Wrap the bags with seven layers of strapping tape and dispose of it in your outside garbage can. That\u2019s to protect anybody who might be near your trash.<\/p>\n \u201cBe sure to wear the foil covering when you are asleep\u2026because that\u2019s the best time for \u2018them\u2019 to tune in to your microchip.\u201d<\/p>\n Oh, where oh where is that wonderful Scottish journalist, Charles Mackay when you really need him\u201d?<\/p>\n Dr. Curmudgeon suggests “Bitter Medicine\u201d, Dr. Eugene Eisman’s story of his experiences–from the humorous to the intense—as a young army doctor serving in the Vietnam War.<\/p>\n Bitter Medicine by Eugene H. Eisman, M.D. –on Amazon<\/a><\/p>\n Doctor Curmudgeon\u00ae is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.<\/p>\n
\n“To talk of many things:<\/strong><\/em>
\nOf shoes\u2014and ships\u2014and sealing-wax\u2014<\/strong><\/em>
\nOf cabbages\u2014and kings\u2014”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n