CM Punk, John Cena, Bret Hart & Randy Savage Tribute: WWE RAW Results
By The Masked Hernandez
I was back stage at RAW this week brother for the first time in a long time. What happened to Koko B. Ware? He still around? Ah man, I watched as Bret Hart came down that aisle and started blabbing about Jerry Lawler in a kiss my feet match with Michael Cole. Wow, this storyline sucked brother.
Bret went on and on and he lost it. In my day, we would go up there and say our piece and then go and kick some ass, but not anymore. We have all these catchphrases from these goofs. A goof like John Cena. Cena and R Truth were in the ring with Bret Hart and it was a boring mess brother. If it were the Hulkster and Rowdy Roddy Piper in there, the crowd would have gone wild. Hell, back when I used to “get nasty” I got a huge pop from the audience.
Big Show and Kane lose the titles to the four horsemen of today … Nexus. I watched as the Big Show did his post fight interview and he was yelling like they shorted him some glazed donuts at Krispy Kreme man. Back in my day, we’d get a big guy like that a manager and he would just stand there and not say a word. It was way more effective brother and you can take that to the bank and cash it.
Alberto Del Rio and his friend run over the Big Show and now Kane is all worried. What the hell happened to Kane? It looked like he had a man crush brother. Fatso was on the ground and Kane was there coddling him man. It wasn’t the sort of jammy-jam that I want to take home for breakfast.
The majority of the show wasn’t good brother. Without real competition, the WWE needs some serious help brother. John Cena and Rey Mysterio, the second best masked wrestler of all time, defeated CM Punk and R Truth with Bret Hart as the referee.
I don’t know brother. This show left me empty. I thought that they’d be dedicating a large portion to the Macho Man, my fallen brother, but that Vince didn’t care too much for him and ripped the fans off. I was so close to coming out of retirement and giving Vince my “Masked Destruction” right through a table, but I was invited to the show and I must behave.
I want to take this time to stop the rumor mill brother. At this time, I have no plans to wrestle Bill Goldberg in Mexico as the wrestling rags are reporting man. If I come back to the ring, you will hear it here at Ringside Report first. So for now, you masked maniacs out there…what are you gonna do when the Masked Hernandez runs wild on you!