Randy Orton WWE SHOOT Interview: Rock, John Cena, Kelly Kelly & More

By the Masked Hernandez

That CM Punk thing man…he did something that we don’t see every day brother. He came out and said it like it was, but when I was wrestling in the blood and the mud in my day, we had to keep quiet or we were blacklisted. I was set to face Ric Flair at one point when he had that NWA Strap brother, but I was foolish enough to put down the Crocketts to a rag and there went my chance man.

Randy Orton has just ran his mouth brother, and it is causing quite a stir. I thought I would break this down man and give you my comments, since I am in the business, and when you’re in, you’re in 4-Life!

On Kelly Kelly and who she made it with:

“Kane, Undertaker, Big Show…all the big guys…Edge…yeah, Ziggler.”

Let me tell you brother, there was no sex going on in the locker room when I wrestled. The female wrestlers were beasts and we would leave the arena with some hot fans to spend the night with man. Some of our wrestlers, namely “Rasha the Mountain of Blubber” played for the other team man and that’s the only sex that went on in our locker room. The chicks weren’t hot man.

On taking Drugs:

“I’ve done all that stuff and you know, I was ashamed of it for a long time…my wife is crying…I stopped breathing and the ambulance came. I was 26.”

I’ve never done drugs man, but they were all around. I remember when our American hero, Yankee Doodle Dooney was popping pills and snorting coke in the locker room in 1982, and then went to the ring and fell face first onto the canvas, out cold. Drugs are terrible man. Yankee Doodle Dooney would have been a household name brother if he didn’t do all those drugs and fry his brain man. He can’t even string together a sentence nowadays. Good job Orton. Drugs are bad.

On the Rock & John Cena:

“Rock needs a teleprompter. Rock needs a writer of all his stuff. Cena is awesome.”

Back in my day, I went out there, grabbed the microphone and told my opponent that I was gonna kick his fat ass all over the place and I did jus that. I didn’t need writers to tell me what to say. This is the problem with wrestling man. Too many writers. Let the adlibbing begin man. It worked in my day. Me, Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, Dusty Rhodes…we all just went on the fly man. It worked.