Wrestling: C’mon, It’s for the Kids!
By John Pitroff
With the birth of my nephew over two years ago, I was faced with the dilemma of whether or not to bring wrestling into his life. Does he really need to hear about The Boogeyman at this young of an age? I’m not talking about the one hiding under his bed, I’m talking about the one also known as Marty Wright. What is scarier: the idea of The Boogeyman, or just how great Mr. Wright was at getting into that character? I knew my sister wasn’t going to be the one to share wrestling with her son. She was only a fan of wrestling when I dragged her to WrestleMania X8 with me. Her biggest opinion on wrestling: “Batista is hot.” My younger sister’s? “Kane is hot.” And, that was when he still wore the mask! Mine? “Stacy Keibler is hot.”
I felt that since she wasn’t going to supply into his life the great thing known as pro wrestling, perhaps I would have to be the one to do it. Not all of wrestling is great, I mean, I really don’t want to subject him to a 2010 era Bret Hart promo, but I wouldn’t mind if he were to see a Shawn Michaels mat classic. But, since I have made it my motivation to inject into his life the same love that I had for wrestling I had in my childhood years, I have been struggling with the idea.
Is it my place to attempt to make him like something? No, it isn’t. I have never been one to believe that it is proper to push or shove something onto your children, or even the children of your loved ones:
“Son, you are going to be a wrestling star when you grow up!”
“But, Daddy, I don’t want to”
“It doesn’t matter, you will be, and we will call you…The Rock.”
(A young Dwayne Johnson thinking to himself): “Yeah, but then I’ll show you…I’ll just be in the movies instead.”
I still feel some sort of obligation to share wrestling with my nephew because of the joy it brought me. I at least want to keep him open-minded to the fact that he might like it. The time I spent with wrestling as a kid and the amount of fun I had with it is beyond description, and I never wanted to leave anyone I love out of that. I never wanted to force it onto anyone, but I wanted it to at least be an option. You know, pretty much the opposite of the way that Vince McMahon feels about John Cena.
Mind you, he is not my child and I do not have to deal with him when he gets angry and decides to freak out more than Ken Shamrock. Just the other night my nephew was “in the zone” for a good ten minutes. But, I can simply run out of there like Shawn Michaels back in Montreal. It makes it easy being the wacky uncle who comes home for a few days, throws around a few clotheslines, power bombs, and razor edges, and then goes on my way like I am a Scott Hall TNA stint. My sister has to be with him afterward and deal with the consequences. I come in for a few days, have some fun, while she has made it her life to raise him the way she feels is best. It is as if I am the main event. I have all the fun, get all the credit, and am the focus of the show. She is the ring crew. She actually does all the work, sets up the ring (or bed, in this case) that I wrestle in, and puts in the long hours without getting the recognition.
Her and I have had debates about this, albeit, short ones. I see it as, “wrestling to me as a kid was awesome, and I don’t want to see him miss out on that.” She sees it as him being young and simply noticing the violence in it instead of the art. I like to give children a lot of credit and tell her that he can realize it is all a show. She is a realist and knows that when he pushes a girl down at play group for no reason, perhaps is a heel move brought on by wrestling. Seriously, if the next time he extends his hand in a show of respect while looking around the room for the approval of the “audience”, and as he is shaking, he kicks her in the ribs, I will have no qualms about turning off the wrestling. If he stays in character the entire time and tells the audience to shove it, I know that wrestling has found it is next great heel.
The whole debate comes down to my love versus her realism. I like to pretend that wrestling doesn’t have negative attributes that rub off on the young. She doesn’t feel the love I have for wrestling so she therefore cannot see the joy that I have and therefore want to share with my nephew. See, this is when being a wrestling fan versus being a non wrestling fan makes it tough. How can I attempt to explain to her how cool wrestling is to me when she sees it as nearly the opposite? The whole debate we have over letting her son watch wrestling is an entire issue that can be questioned for all children and their parents worldwide.
At what age is it appropriate to let your kids watch wrestling? For some kids, perhaps never. I see many adults who shouldn’t be watching it themselves because they still can’t discern the difference between fantasy and reality. Now, that might be because they are always drunk, but that is no excuse. I really don’t think any alcoholic slob sitting in “his” chair yelling at the television screen, “get that fruity looking gay one!” is a positive role model for his child, wrestling or not.
If you have less of an understanding of the world than your two month old, perhaps you should not only not be watching wrestling yourself, but perhaps you shouldn’t be having any more children… Is the problem wrestling, or is the problem the fact that these parents make me think Papa Shango could parent better? Forget that, I’ll use another Charles Wright character…perhaps the problem is that these parents make me think The Godfather could parent better.
Seriously, Vince McMahon treated Shane McMahon better in their WrestleMania X-Seven match than a lot of parents treat their children daily. The egomaniacal Vince McMahon overbearing father figure is a great character and it works because people can relate. Sadly, kids have fathers like that, and it isn’t in a fantasy realm known as pro wrestling. A lot of parents could care less about their children and let the TV be their baby sitter. With that kind of mindset, even Disney movies could be turned into a negative. Oh, wait…Disney movies include various sexual references, guns, and violence already as well. My bad. The Godfather is looking like a great alternative already.
So, back to the question at hand: what age is appropriate to let your children watch wrestling, if ever? Well, not only does it depend on the parents, but it also depends on the child. Not every child is the same. Each child has their own gimmick. Trust me, not all kids are main eventers, and most barely can jerk the curtain. It all comes down to personal identity. If you have given birth to a Great Khali, first of all, that is one huge baby, and second, perhaps it is best to wait and see how he turns out before opening his mind to wrestling.
What age is right for your child? This is something that you have to look at and find out for yourself. What do you expect of me, I can’t do it all. I have less of a clue about raising a child than TNA has about how to define their own brand of wrestling. Some questions you should ask of your child to see if they are ready: are they old enough to understand, is their mind advanced enough to get the concept, do they think Batista is a great in ring talent? Seriously, if they think that last one is true, grab the remote and click off the television before their world view becomes too tainted. We do not need any children running around who think Batista has “mad skillz.”
If your child likes to hit people, kick people, and push people for no reason, perhaps wrestling isn’t their thing. Or perhaps Daddy should stop beating him and learn how to parent. Did he learn it from W.W.E., or did it learn it from D.A.D.? Then again, what young boy doesn’t rough house? “Boys will be boys” right? Remember when WCW’s slogan was, “Where the big boys play? That should be telling. The point here is that I know many a child that doesn’t watch wrestling that is more violent than an ECW non televised main event circa 1996.
I know this is going to sound odd, but perhaps the solution to children being so violent is to have them watch wrestling once their mind can handle it. Perhaps, just perhaps, please stay with me here…perhaps fake violence is a better alternative than real violence. One is an art form, the other, well, according to MMA, it is also an art form.
Is all of wrestling for children? No. But, what is? Most of the banal and mediocre television shows on TV are far worse for kids than wrestling. In wrestling, children can learn how to have an imagination. What is so wrong about wonder, about thinking, about dreaming, about imagining?
What’s worse, seeing men fighting with each other in a controlled atmosphere where they really aren’t trying to hurt each other, or watching a baseball game where a grown man literally attempts to hurt another man by throwing a 100 mile per hour baseball at his head? Technically, that could kill the batter. So, what is better, actual attempted murder, or fake attempted murder? That was a Steve Austin/Brian Pillman reference.
People like to always pick on wrestling because it is an easy target for being dumped on. But, what is worse? Watching hockey and seeing men actually having real fistfights, or watching men create a masterpiece using their bodies as the tools of art? I’ll tell you what is worse than both, and that is the idea of Brawl For All. Want another example? What is worse? Watching the NBA where grown men jump into the stands and attack fans, or watching wrestling where grown men jump into the ring and attack wrestlers?
Here’s the reality of life: the world sucks a lot of times. You can’t hide reality from children forever. I realize that wrestling isn’t the greatest thing for children, but there are a lot of positive things that a kid can get from it. There is no reason to stifle children because of your narrow minded view of wrestling. Reality is far worse than any wrestling storyline that has even been written, and that includes Sheamus still being WWE Champion despite my numerous attempts to show how unworthy he is of such an accolade.
What is worse? Accidentally having the TV tuned to USA network on a Monday night at 9 o’clock, or having your kids awake the morning of September 11, 2001 with the television tuned to any one of the 1,763 channel that exist now? At least the wrestling thing is “fake.” Much like I mentioned in my column about backyard wrestling, as long as you are a good parent, there shouldn’t be a problem. If you are a good parent, your child can enjoy wrestling in an acceptable atmosphere. Then again, one can always go back to blurring the line of fantasy and reality by staying in “their” chair drinking themselves into oblivion while their children sit by wondering not what Chris Jericho is doing with his hair, but why Daddy has passed out yet again.