The Rock, John Cena & THE ROYAL RUMBLE – WWE News & RAW REPORT

By Dani Mitchell

Vickie and Heyman kick off RAW as a united front. Turns out the two now share a common enemy, The Rock. After both being humiliated by The Rock last week, Vickie announces that he is banned from entering the arena, showing The Rock trying to reason with police officers to get inside the area. He promises he will be in the center of the ring tonight. Vickie then tries out her new catchphrase… DO YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLL what the Vick is cooking. Yikes. That was bad.

WWE issued a Beat the Clock Challenge. Whoever won the match quickest in the challenge would have the opportunity to pick his spot for the Royal Rumble. The first to competitors of the challenge was Antonio Cesaro and Randy Orton. This is probably the worst I have seen Cesaro wrestle. He was making moves like front face locks, which obviously is not the best way to get a pin. Randy Orton was looking strong though, hitting his move and finally gets a pin after 11:36.

Yeah not the best time I am sure, but still a pretty decent match for Orton at least. The next competitors in the challenge are Ziggler vs. The Miz. I still cannot believe that Ric Flair passed on the figure four leg lock to The Miz. I probably would be able to believe it better if The Miz could perform it without botching it. He tried to put the lock on Ziggler but it looked as if he tried to do it backwards so of course it doesn’t work. Then Ziggler performs the Zig Zag and beats The Miz at 10:56, he now is leading in the Beat The Clock Challenge.

The last men to compete in the challenge are Sheamus and Wade Barrett, it seemed as though Sheamus could have won it, but the AJ Lee posse came down to distract Sheamus, by the time the madness is over and Sheamus gets to hit the Brogue Kick, his time was up, and he did not beat the clock.. Meaning that Dolph Ziggler is the winner of the Beat the Clock challenge and he will get to choose his number for the Royal Rumble! Oh but wait, not so fast Ziggler, turns out that Vickie decided to throw you a curve ball… She says he does get to choose, but not any number. He has to choose if he will be number one or number two.. Oh Ziggler, guess you would have been better off with the lottery then with Ms. Vickie in charge.

Squash matches of the night. Big Show came out, who was he competitor…. WOO WOO WOO, Zach Ryder. The match seriously lasted like a minute and a half. Big Show immediately hits Ryder with a KO punch and he hits the floor and doesn’t move again until Big Show leaves the Ring. Big Show got especially Diva like, and left the ring after being interrupted by WHAT? Chants from the crowd. Brad Maddox also jumped the barrier to join on commentary for that very brief minute. Another Squash match, Ryback vs. Heath Slater. Again over in no time. Poor Heath Slater… humiliated in a matter of minutes. Ryback’s promos are ridiculous. His matches are under 5 minutes and when he gets on the mic it sounds like he can’t breathe. Better work on your stamina, Bro. This isn’t a 900 number chat line, I don’t want to hear you heavy breathing.

Daniel Bryan and Kane had a very special night as the two of them graduated from Anger Mangerment. Daniel even slicked his hair back for the special occasion. It was a funny segment. Although we have learned that Bryan has been a great comedy figure, I cannot wait to see him get back to real ‘rasslin. He is the master of submissions. I am ready to see that Daniel Bryan back in the ring, the one that makes everyone tap. I like my Daniel Bryan with a little heel on the side.

Backstage, Paul Heyman is interrupted by Brad Maddox. Maddox wants to be a star, and Heyman says that maybe he has misjudged him and offers to take him under his wing. Heyman looks to Maddox and says “You stick with me kid, I’ll make your dreams come true. I’ll make you famous.” I guess you could say that Maddox is a Paul Heyman guy, but to me something seems off. I think Heyman has something up his sleeve.

Our WWE champion came out to tell the crowd what his intentions are at the Royal Rumble and his intentions are to remain the WWE champion. He claims that he has brought credibility back to the title that people like John Cena could not. He goes on to make fun of the Rock basically saying that The Rock is just an entertainer. “The Rock is here to electrify…I am here to hurt people and be the champion.” Words straight from our Champion’s mouth. He has currently held the title 429 days as of today, the longest reign in over 20 years. We will see how this pans out for the champ next Sunday!

Paul Heyman got some mic time as well, after he puts Punk up in a skybox to watch him drop a “Paul Bomb” . He basically takes this time to reaffirm what Punk has said but in terms that the people can understand. He dumbs it down for the crowd, insulting the audience and of course The Rock. Then The Rock’s music hits. He is walking down the ramp with a ticket in hand, showing everyone how he got in from the ban. He kicks Heyman off the mic and then begins spitting his game and putting people in their place. The one thing he said that stuck out to me was, “Just like Martin Luther King had a dream, the Rock has a dream. To go to the mountain top one more time and become the WWE champion….they’ll be saying ‘free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last.'”

Seemed fitting for MLK day. He is interrupted though by The Shield. The three jump The Rock in the ring and hit him with a triple power bomb, leaving the Rock out of it and bleeding from the mouth in the ring. We then See that Punk has a Mic up in his skybox and he comes back at The Rock saying “Bad news Rock. On top of that mountain there is only room for one man….It’s cute you have a dream. Unfortunately you have to wake up from them…Free at last? You have to pay a price for your freedom.” The Rumble is going to heated!

John Cena came out to cut a promo. He was pretty lackluster. He is convinced that he is going to win the Rumble and rambles on about it. Apparently this does not fly with the guys in the back because they all come out and a huge rumble breaks out in the ring. Looks like quite a preview of what Sunday will have in store for us.

After the craziness in the ring, we end with a final stipulation. Vince confronts Heyman and Punk and says that he is tired of The Shield non-sense and that if they interfere with the champion’s match on Sunday that Punk will be stripped of the title. This makes things interesting. It’s been a while since we saw a clean PPV match. I am stoked to see how this Rumble is going to go down. It’s probably the most excited I have been for a PPV in a while.

Full of fresh storylines and matches. Good job WWE, this is how I like to start the New Year!