Yo, check this out. Y’all know that I don’t follow wrestling unless I run into this muscle-heads on the red carpet. YA HEARD! But, when I heard that John Cena had a death hoax like so many of my LEGENDARY friends, I felt for the kid. My god, imagine if his family saw those headlines! They’d be devastated! Nice try fellas.
Now, I checked my email and got six hundred trillion billion and four emails about John Cena but one stood out. Georgie Bieber, the number one fan of Justin Bieber, has come forward to reveal his crush on John Cena. Here are “her” comments.
“OMG! I blame Vince McMahon for this! I love Cena and want him to split me like firewood! Ja-ja…he-he. I am dying to meet him, but Vince told his security not to let me into the WWE headquarters. Really? Really? Well, Vince, you ain’t gonna hold me back forever. Who, do I have to blow to to get in? Well, ask! That may be negotiated! Yum! LMAO. Now Vince, I used to respect you. That’s right…I USED to respect you, but then I found out that you self-publish your wrestling books!
Anywho, Cena if you’re reading this, know that I love you. I love you with all my heart. Please come over here and die in my arms! BTW, die in my arms is slang for cream your jeans. Ain’t no way I want you dying on me stud!”