Andrew’s TNA Impact Report: Baby, Can You Check What Year It Is?
By Andrew Ryan
(Managing Editor’s Note: Andrew Ryan is our newest Feature Writer at RSR. He will be covering pro wrestling. I, along with the rest of the team, welcome him aboard.)
As a young kid watching ECW with its limited production values emanating from a bingo hall in South Philadelphia back in 1996 I had little idea of the legacy the company would leave behind. I never could have imagined the current state of wrestling I would be seeing in… 2010! This past week’s Impact was something a modern-day Nostradamus couldn’t have predicted.
The mark inside me enjoyed the nostalgic feel of the opening segment. Tommy Dreamer and various other ECW wrestlers including Devon are in the ring. Dreamer cuts a promo pushing the current ECW reunion. He says due to legal reasons they have to change the name to EV 2.0. Really, it doesn’t matter. The fans no what it is or at least what it is supposed to be. Dreamer thanks Devon for joining them. This leads to an angle relating to the recent problems between the Dudleys. First, Dreamer tries to get Bubba to join them telling him it’s like his favorite rock band Kiss getting back together with all the original members one more time to do it for the fans. Bubba isn’t buying it.
Next, Mick Foley gives it a shot telling Bubba that if he doesn’t take part in this show it will be the one thing he regrets the most when he looks back on his career. Taz then stands up from the announcer’s table and further convinces Bubba to join the boys. Finally, Bubba gets into the ring and asks Devon, “Just answer me one question. Are we going to light somebody on fire?” Devon nods and Bubba is back with crew.
Next, Hogan comes out and cuts a promo putting over the ECW guys and their upcoming reunion show. He thanks them for doing it in TNA. I can only imagine what kind of reception Hogan would have gotten if he had showed up in the ECW Arena back in the mid-90s. The original ECW was completely against everything Hogan and the Ted Turner-backed WCW was about.
Abyss comes out and says that “they” hold Dixie Carter responsible for this ECW reunion show messing up their plans. He has orders to take out Tommy Dreamer. Hogan says that nothing will happen to Dreamer until the PPV but the valiant Dreamer steps up and says he would love to fight Abyss. The match is set.
Next up, a backstage segment begins with the Beautiful People bickering back and forth over the mystery woman Madison Rayne attempted to add to the group. Finally, the group makes a truce and everything seems to be cool again. Next, Sarita and Angelina Love face off in a match to become the number one contender to Rayne’s Knockouts Title. Love eventually wins in a short match with the Botox Injection.
The second match of the show featured Ink Inc. over Eric Young and Orlando Jordan. The point of this match was to show how messed up Young and Jordan are. Young brings out a mannequin with him and tries to get Jordan to tag it in. Young eventually throws it in the ring and the two argue. Ink Inc. mercifully attacks Jordan and finishes the match with the Mooregasm.
Ric Flair is in the ring to cut a promo along with Beer Money and the first two members of the Fortune faction, AJ Styles and Kazarian. Flair says he always has a rematch clause in his contract and next week it will be him and Jay Lethal in a streetfight. Flair then confirms that Beer Money are the newest members of Fortune. Beer Money cuts a promo saying how much of an honor it is. Kazarian then takes the mic to take a few digs at WWE. Eventually, the segment is finished off by AJ Styles saying he is going to bring new importance to the Global title and basically changes it into the TV title. Kurt Angle then comes out to set up the match between him and Styles who is the next challenger in Kurt’s quest through TNA’s Top 10 rankings.
Beer Money takes on The Motor City Machine Guns in a cage match for the third match in the best of seven series. Beer Money leads the series 2-0. The match starts by the Guns climbing the cage from the opposite side of the entrance and sneak attacking Beer Money. The Guns eventually move the series to 1-2 after Shelley pinned Storm. The match could have been really great as was the last PPV match between the two teams if given more time.
Mr. Anderson and Matt Morgan have a little altercation when Anderson shows how easy it is to get the microphone from the ceiling. Morgan gets control of Anderson and begins choking him with the mic cord. Hardy runs out for the save. This leads to TNA security coming out and getting extra physical with Hardy and Anderson. Taz and Tenay identify the guards and Murphy and Gunner. This was a rather strange angle and the backstage interview with Christy Hemme afterwards leads to a handicap match later in the show.
Next, we have an absolute squash match with Rob Terry beating Kazarian like a jobber in about a minute. This makes a lot of sense when TNA is trying to build up Fortune. Another throwaway match is up next with Morgan walking out on the security guards who proceed to easily job to the team of Hardy and Anderson.
Backstage, Christy Hemme chases down Hogan trying to get an info she can about the big announcement he has planned. Hogan isn’t caving but says we will find out next week.
After the commercial break, Bischoff is in the ring. He announces that the 8/12 Impact will feature PPV-quality action. This was another ironic moment as I remember the ECW Arena crowd back in the day chanting profane comments referring to Bischoff. It sure makes a lot of sense for TNA to offer a PPV-quality show that was originally planed for the PPV on free TV. It makes you wonder if everybody wants the ECW show to succeed by giving fans such incentive to shell out money to see PPV-quality action. Abyss interrupts and sets up the main event for that show with him vs. RVD in a ladder match with “Janice” hanging above the ring.
Tommy Dreamer’s music plays and this starts the hardcore match with Abyss. “Janice” is legal. Dreamer gets crotched on the barrier at ringside, smashed through some garbage cans, hit with and cane and trash can. Dreamer makes a valiant comeback but succumbs to a chokeslam on a barbed wire board and puts over Abyss in typical Dreamer fashion.
Afterwards, Abyss grabs “Janice” but Raven runs out making it seem like he is going to save Dreamer but instead DDTs Dreamer on a chair seeming setting up their match at Hardcore Justice.
Overall, this was a pretty strange show but so is the state of wrestling in 2010. Hogan, Bischoff, ECW, etc. all together on the same show was interesting and at times entertaining. A lot of the matches were nothing special. Next week’s Impact should be interesting with more details about the PPV and the PPV-quality Impact.