Andrew’s TNA Impact Report: The Whole F’N Show
By Andrew Ryan
TNA presents “The Whole F”N Show”, a PPV-quality Impact with all the matches that were originally planned for Hard Justice. This was all-around the best Impact show that TNA has ever done. The show featured a multitude of tremendous matches, angles and one serious match of the year contender. I am really enjoying the product that TNA is putting out at this point. I hope they can continue to develop hot angles and create a buzz to keep growing.
The show opens with a classic TNA matchup with Kurt Angle continuing his quest through TNA’s top 10 rankings taking on AJ Styles. Angle is risking his career (his very livelihood, all that he knows) in every match until he reaches his goal. I am not a big fan of these types of storylines as they are simply, too predictable as everyone knows Angle will not be retiring so I wish they could come up with some other consequence for Angle if he would miraculously fail the mission.
AJ and Kurt put on one hell of a show here. This was a tremendous match with fantastic fast-paced, counter wrestling. If it had been given more time on a bigger stage this match would have delivered huge but with this pairing that is too be expected. Angle continues his quest by making AJ tap to the ankle lock. Kurt Angle proved once again that he is the best wrestler in the business and has been for many years now.
Next up, Madison Rayne defends her Knockouts championship vs. Angeline Love. Both women were looking very good and put in a great effort. The mystery woman showed up presumably to aid Rayne but was hit from behind by a steel chair courtesy of Velvet Sky who attempted to reveal the mystery woman’s identity. She came close but the woman managed to escape. Angeline Love to advantage of the distraction and became the new TNA Women’s champion. Velvet Sky was very pleased by this result. Unfortunately, there was no sign of the lovely Lacey Von Erich.
The 3-way dance is next with “The Pope” D’angelo Dinero vs. “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan vs. “The Asshole” Mr. Anderson. Anderson makes his entrance in which he has been working the crowd tremendous as of late especially with his asshole gimmick. Morgan steals a victory after Anderson KOs Dinero and Morgan seizes the opportunity by knocking Anderson out of the ring and getting the pinfall victory.
#2 Contender “The Charismatic Enigma” Jeff Hardy is out to issue an “open challenge to the wrestling world”. I generally hate this type of gimmick as well. His old pal Shannon Moore, friends from when both were working indies in North Carolina in the 90s, comes out. Moore wants to prove he can stand on the same pedestal as Hardy. Moore gives a good effort and gets a nice rub from Jeff Hardy. Hardy wins the match with a swanton bomb.
The final match in the best of five series for the TNA Tag Team titles with Beer Money taking on the Motor City Machine Guns with the series all knotted up at 2-2. This match will be a best 2 out of 3 falls match. This series have produced some very good matches. This match was a serious match of the year contender! And one of the best tag team matches I have seen forever. Beer Money and The Guns tore the Impact Zone down in an epic match. It had so many great moves and epic near falls. These two teams have amazing chemistry in the ring as all four men are great workers and I feel it won’t be the last time we see them square off as TNA fans will certainly want more of this. The Guns win the series and retain their TNA tag titles. Shelley and Sabin are over huge with the crowd and Beer Money will be as well. This series was a fantastic way for TNA to showcase their talent.
The main event is Abyss challenging Rob Van Dam for the TNA World Championship in a Stairway to Janice match. Eric Bischoff will serve as the special guest referee. Abyss tries to climb up the ladder and get the bat covered with nails known as Janice before RVD makes his way out but RVD sees and knocks Abyss off the ladder before he can get there. Abyss chokeslams RVD from the ladder, RVD hits the rolling thunder on Abyss who is covered in the barbed wire board, RVD hits a sunset flip powerbomb on Abyss into a pile of thumbtacks and glass. RVD hits the vandaminator as well as the vanterminator with a chiar and the barbed wire board being slammed into Abyss. RVD gets the win after the Five Star frog splash. This was another great match to finish the show.
Hulk Hogan comes out to finish off the show with an announcement with RVD still on the ladder in the middle of the ring. Hogan cuts a promo putting RVD over huge as well as TNA calling it the “#1 wrestling company in the world, brother.” Hogan can still cut a mean, one of a kind promo. Hogan invites the ECW guys out to celebrate and give them one last chance to say thanks for Hardcore Justice. The lights go out and everyone thinks it is Sandman but when they come back on Mick Foley has been laid out and the Fortune faction is attacking all the ECW guys. Flair comes down with a big smile on his face at the ensuing carnage. The camera cuts to the back to infer that RVD has been massacred by Abyss and Janice as he is a complete and utter bloody mess. Flair goes nuts telling Dixie that it is all her fault. The show ends showing the ECW guys in a bloody heap.
Overall, this is a must-see show. The Guns vs. Beer Money may very well be MOTY. Angle and Styles started the show off with a bang and the main event and ensuing angle was highly entertaining. If you did not see this show, make sure to go out of your way to see it as it was better than most pay per views.