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Jesse’s WWE Raw Report: The Seven Deadly Sinners are now Down to Six

By Jesse Castleman

WWE Champion Sheamus makes his way to the ring as Monday Night Raw kicks off. Randy Orton went off on Sheamus last week when Sheamus interfered with Orton’s match, costing Orton a victory against Justin Gabriel. Sheamus says American children are spoiled brats, and proceeds to point out various children in the crowd and explain to them that they don’t deserve to watch him wrestle live in the WWE. Sheamus then says Orton is the most spoiled child of them all, and that he doesn’t deserve another title shot. Ever. Again!

Blinks, and Michael Cole goes to the podium. The General Manager’s email says: the GM doesn’t have a problem with Sheamus, having been able to reclaim the WWE title. The GM will award Sheamus by allowing him to pick his next challenger: Sheamus will watch a series of matches from his throne on the stage, and after the matches are all complete, Sheamus will announce who his opponent will be at the Night of Champions. Sheamus is pumped, and thanks the GM. Then Cole announces that the matches will begin right now… and out comes Edge! Edge walks to the ring and Sheamus struts toward his throne, each walking past each other on the ramp as Raw comes to a commercial break.

Edge will be in action as Raw returns. His opponent will be R-Truth, who enters the ring rapping, as usual, and asking the crowd, “What’s up?” to which Michael Cole seems aggravated by. R-Truth hits a spinning hurricanrana on Edge to start the match. R-Truth jumps over the ropes to the outside, but Edge dodges his splash. Edge throws R-Truth into the barricade and then rolls him back into the ring. Edge kicks Truth in the face, and then chokes him on the ropes and hits a crossbody to his back. Edge pins Truth for 2. Edge locks Truth into a surfboard submission, but Truth breaks out and slaps Edge in the face. Truth runs the ropes, and both men jump into each other, hitting crossbodies. Truth clotheslines Edge twice, flying clotheslines him and misses a big kick to Edge’s face. Edge capitalizes with an Edge-o-Matic as Truth has his back turned. Edge misses a spear into the turnbuckle, and Truth goes for the KICK, but Edge evades and nails Truth with a spear on the second try. Edge pins Truth for 1, 2, 3, and the victory. Edge grabs the mic and tells Sheamus that until he can beat Edge, he hasn’t beaten anybody. Edge and Sheamus stare each other down atop the stage.

Edge defeats R-Truth by pinfall

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes will be appearing on Warehouse 13 on the SyFy channel tomorrow night at 9. The WWE was in Shanghai, China recently.

The Great Khali makes his way to the ring with his interpreter, Runjit. Chris Jericho enters next to face off with Khali. Jericho starts out by attempting to punch Khali, but Khali counters and tosses Jericho up in the air. Khali smacks Jericho around in the corner, but misses a leg drop on Jericho. Jericho capitalizes and targets Khali’s injured left knee with a few kicks, elbow drops, and a submission. Khali tries to fight out, but Jericho drags him to the ropes, where his jumps on his ankle. Walls, Khali Vice. Jericho falls out of ring. Jericho reenters and goes for the Codebreaker, which Khali catches in mid air and tosses Jericho down Khali nails a few clotheslines of Jericho, and then hits him with a body slam. Khali misses a big boot to Jericho in the corner, and Jericho evades and knocks Khali’s injured left knee down. Khali is down, and Jericho again attempts the Walls of Jericho. After a struggle to flip Khali onto his stomach, Jericho finally locks in the submission, and Khali submits. Jericho gets the victory, and grabs the mic. Jericho argues that he is the first undisputed champion in the WWE, and that he’s better than Edge at what he does. Jericho turns around to find Khali stalking him. But Jericho has climbed to the top rope and has nowhere to go, and Khali smacks Jericho off of the top rope to the mats on the outside.

Chris Jericho def. The Great Khali by submission

Flashback to last week when the Miz and Alex Riley distracted Daniel Bryan to cost him his match against Michael Tarver. The Miz, Riley, and Tarver beat down on Bryan after the match.

Josh Daniels is backstage with John Cena. Matthews asks Cena about his thoughts on the Miz’s clash with Daniel Bryan, since Cena chose Bryan over the Miz to be on Team WWE at SummerSlam. Cena says that the Miz’s actions last week were classless, putting his ego above anyone else by attacking Daniel Bryan last week. Cena says he will shut the Miz’s mouth and readjust his attitude with an Attitude Adjustment.

Jillian says that she has been Diva’s Champion before, and that she will be again, because she’s not afraid! To take a stand! Jillian offers a rendition of Eminem’s hit single, before Melina interrupts her to enter the ring. Melina will defend her Diva’s championship against Jillian. They lock up to start the match, and then Jillian gets a kick to the face. Jillian tosses Melina down, who goes into a split. Melina misses a hit on Jillian into the ropes, and Jillian pulls Melina’s hair. Jillian covers Melina for a nearfall, then applies a surfboard. Melina tries to break out, but Jillian kicks Melina down and surfs ontop of her. Melina matrix evades Jillian’s clothesline, then nails Jillian down and pins her for a two-count. Jillian hits a clothesline on Melina then sets her up for a leg drop from the second rope, which she misses. Melina crawls ontop of Jillian and lets loose a primal scream! Melina hits a Last Call on Jillian. Cover, 1, 2, 3, and Melina has successfully defended her Diva’s Championship. After Melina’s celebration, Laycool is shown on the titantron, who say that they have an offer that Melina will not be able to refuse. Flawless.

Melina def. Jillian by pinfall; retains Diva’s Championship

Josh Matthews interviews the Miz backstage, asking him if he’d like to respond to Cena’s words. The Miz says Cena put Team WWE at risk by choosing Daniel Bryan. The Miz says that instead of telling the Miz backstage, Cena embarrassed the Miz in front of everybody because of HIS ego. As far as Sheamus is concerned, the Miz doesn’t expect him to choose him as his opponent at NOC, but that doesn’t matter since he has his MITB contract.

Back on Raw, and Sheamus is back in his throne on the stage. Nexus walks out, and Sheamus asks Sheamus what the deal is, and…blinks! And Cole has received another GM email: the GM has requested Nexus to come out to let them know that he is impressed with how they dealt with last week. The ban on Nexus members being able to compete for WWE championships has officially been lifted. Barrett walks up to Sheamus and tells him to consider their truce over. The two stare each other down before Barrett brings Nexus backstage. Cena and The Miz are shown backstage walking, as their match is next.

Slam of the Week goes to The Miz’s Skull-Crushing Finale on Daniel Bryan last week. At this, the Miz enters. John Cena enters afterwards to a loud pop. Cena tosses his baseball hat into the crowd after he runs the ropes. The match gets underway with the two competitors circling each other. The Miz takes an early lead, whipping Cena into the turnbuckle, but Cena whips Miz into the ropes and hits him with a sidewalk slam. Cover for two. Cena misses a shoulder block in the corner as the Miz evades his rush. Cena has hurt his shoulder, and the Miz takes advantage by back body dropping Cena. Cover for two. The Miz hits Cena, but Cena whips the Miz into the corner then hits a fisherman’s suplex. Cena covers the Miz for two. Cena whips the Miz into the ropes and drops down to flip the Miz, but the Miz spots the tactic and kicks Cena in the upper body. The Miz continues by kicking Cena again and kneeing Cena in the back. Miz rakes Cena’s eyes, and hits a knee drop on Cena’s face. Miz covers Cena, 1, 2, kickout. Miz stands over Cena and continues to pound on him. Cena counters though, and runs off the ropes and hits a flipping neck breaker on the Miz. Cena heads to the top rope as the Miz gets up, but the Miz knocks Cena off the top to the mats outside. Cole and Lawler note that Miz’s aggressiveness has helped him climb the ladder recently in the WWE. Sheamus looks on as Raw goes to a commercial break.

Back on Raw, The Miz has Cena trapped in a headlock. Miz hops onto Cena’s back and continues the submission. Cena begins fading, but powers back up and rams the Miz into the corner to catch a breather. Cena whips the Miz into the corner and attempts a bulldog, but the Miz evades it and hits a boot to Cena’s face. Miz covers Cena, 1, 2, kickout. Miz rolls to the outside and punches Cena’s face, then knee lifts into Cena’s face hanging over the apron. Miz slingshots Cena into the bottom rope and covers him for a 2-count. The Miz is getting agitated, and stalks Cena. The Miz nails a flying clothesline into Cena in the corner, and drags him into the center of the ring, covering him, 1, 2, kick out! The Miz stalks Cena again, but this time Cena evades the Miz’s rush, jumping into the turnbuckle. Cena hits a shoulder tackle twice on the Miz, evades a clothesline, and hits a back body drop on him. Cena signifies a 5-Knuckle Shuffle on the Miz, and sets the Miz up for an Attitude Adjustment, but the Miz snakes out of it and hits a combo backbreaker-to-neck breaker on Cena! Cover, 1, 2, Cena kicks out. Would have been a major victory for the Miz. Miz stalks Cena for a Skullcrushing Finale, which Cena counters into an STF! The STF is locked in on the Miz, but the Miz makes it to the bottom rope to break the count. Cena runs off the ropes right into a big boot from the Miz. Miz covers Cena for a nearfall. Whoever gains the upper hand now will win the match. Miz whips Cena chest first into the turnbuckle, and attempts a Skull-crushing Finale on the recoil, but Cena counters and lifts Miz into an Atitude Adjustment. Miz jumps off onto the apron and walks backwards up the ramp. The two stare each other down, at which point Daniel Bryan runs down the ramp and hits Miz from behind. Bryan rolls Miz into the ring, and Cena hits Miz with an Attitude Adjustment! Referee Mike Chioda rings the bell and ends the match, disqualifying Cena for Bryan’s interference. Cena doesn’t care, however, and turns Miz over to Bryan, who enters the ring, and locks in a cross face on the Miz. The Miz taps out furiously as the ref tries to break it up. Four other refs join in to get Bryan off of Miz. Bryan exits the ring as the refs surround Miz for his safety.

The Miz def. John Cena by disqualification

Back from commercial break, and Santino Marella and Vladmir Kozlov make their way to the ring. Jimmy and Jey Uso make their way to the ring with Tamina. The winner of this match will do battle for the WWE Tag Team Championship. Marella starts off against Jimmy, feigning some kicks and a Cobra, to which he backs off. Jimmy knocks Marella down, and brings him to his corner, where Jey tags in. Jimmy whips Marella right into a clothesline from Jey, and then Jey hits a leg drop on Marella. Jey covers Marella for 2. Jimmy tags back in and is hip tossed by Marella. Marella misses a dropkick, and Jimmy tries for a few covers for 2 until he locks Marella into an upper body lock. Kozlov cheers for Marella, and Jimmy knocks him off the apron. This is ineffective however, and Marella hits Jimmy with a back body drop. Kozlov is back up for the hot tag, as Marella tags him in as Jimmy tags out to Jey. Kozlov throws Jey into the corner then kicks him in the face. Headbutt and a powerslam follow it up, and Kozlov covers Jey, 1, 2, but Jimmy breaks it up. Marella clotheslines Jimmy over the top rope, but Jey hits a huge super kick to Marella’s midsection, sending him to the outside. Jey turns around and attempts a superkick on Kozlov, but he catches Jey and plants him with a chokeslam. Kozlov covers Jey, 1, 2, 3. Marella and Kozlov are victorious.

Outside, Jimmy attempts to put a hurting on Marella, but Tamina stops him and lifts Marella up and holds his face, lovingly. Tamina whisks Jimmy and Jey up the ramp, but stops short to blow Marella a kiss, blowdart style! Marella takes the kiss to the face, and has Kozlov check it out. Marella says he thinks she likes him.

Vladmir Kozlov & Santino Marella def. The Uso Brothers w/Tamina

Sheamus is sitting in his throne again, and Ted DiBiase enters with his Million Dollar Belt and his Million Dollar escort, Maryse. The trust fund kid enters the ring with Maryse, and John Morrison walks out next and places his sunglasses on a lucky fan’s head. Next enters Randy Orton to a huge pop. Sheamus looks uncomfortable, and stands up to stare Orton down on top of the ramp. Orton walks down to the ring, and the two continue their staredown before the referee signals for the bell to be rung. The match begins, and Sheamus gets off his thrown, walking somewhere. Maryse pulls at Morrison’s leg from the outside, distracting him so that DiBiase can knock him out of the ring. Orton and DiBiase brawl in the ring. Orton hits an uppercut on DiBiase and whips him into the ropes, where Morrison drags him to the outside by the leg. Morrison jumps to the apron and back off and nails DiBiase with a flash kick to his head. DiBiase goes down and Morrison rolls back into the ring to square off against Orton. Orton headlocks Morrison, but Morrison whips Orton into the ropes. Orton knocks Morrison down and covers him for a near fall. Orton locks the headlock in again, but Morrison whips Orton into the ropes. Orton knocks Morrison down and runs the ropes. Morrison hits Orton with a dropkick and covers him, 1, and DiBiase breaks up the count. DiBiase throws Morrison to the outside, and kicks Orton in the face. Cover, 1, 2, Orton kicks out.

DiBiase kicks Orton in the corner and chokes him with his boot. DiBiase continues the assault and taunts the crowd. Orton breaks out and their brawl continues. Orton runs the ropes, but DiBiase evades by following Orton and running off the same side. Orton puts on the brakes, but turns around to be met by a clothesline from DiBiase. Morrison reenters to be met by a neckbreaker from DiBiase. DiBiase covers Morrison for a near fall. DiBiase drags Morrison up by the hair, but Morrison hits a chinbuster to counter out. Orton runs in and clocks DiBiase with a clothesline. Orton hits another on DiBiase then scoop slams Morrison and DiBiase. Orton rowls up the crowd, and kicks DiBiase, setting him up for a rope hung DDT. Morrison attempts a flash kick onto Orton, but Orton ducks. Orton nails the DDT on DiBiase, and coils up into the viper, ready to strike. Orton goes for the RKO, but DiBiase catches him and tosses him into Morrison’s dropkick. Morrison misses wildly and jumps over the top rope to the outside as DiBiase evades.

DiBiase goes for the Dreamstreet on Orton, but Orton flips DiBiase out of it to the outside. Morrison attempts a high-flying move slingshot from the top rope, but Orton meets him in mid air with an RKO. Orton rolls Morrison over to cover him. 1, 2, 3, and Orton wins the match! After the match, DiBiase runs back into the ring and attempts a clothesline, which Orton evades. DiBiase spins around to encounter an RKO from Orton. Orton laughs in the ring, and then we cut to Sheamus backstage with Josh Matthews. Sheamus declares that he will announce his decision in a few minutes in the ring.

Randy Orton pins John Morrison; def. Morrison and Ted DiBiase

WWE Champion Sheamus stands in the ring as Raw comes back on the air. Sheamus says that despite what happened last week, he is still a warrior. The Celtic Warrior. Sheamus decides that he will not wait until NOC to defend his title. Sheamus will defend it right now, and calls for a referee. Sheamus says he’s seen a lot of challengers worthy of a title shot tonight, but that he has decided to go left-field in his decision making. He says that if it weren’t for opportunity, he would not have been able to win the WWE Championiship. So, Sheamus says, he will give someone an opportunity tonight, and that person is someone who has never had a WWE Championiship tonight, a number one contender who could be the next WWE superstar. Sheamus announces his opponent will be none other than… Zack Ryder…

Ryder enters and thanks Sheamus for the opportunity, but that Sheamus has made a grave mistake choosing him. Ryders says that everyone knows that they’re looking at the next WWE Champion in Zack Ryder, woo woo woo, you know it.

The crowd boos wildly as Ryder and Sheamus are introduced by Justin Roberts in the ring. The match begins with Sheamus nailing a Bro Kick to Ryder’s skull! Sheamus smiles and pins Ryder, 1, 2, 3. This one was a joke, and Sheamus is still the WWE Champion. Sheamus grabs the mic and proclaims another successful title defense for the Celtic Warrior. Sheamus delves into the WWE rulebook, and says that he does not need to defend his WWE title for another tirty (thirty/30) days, which means that he will be taking the night off at the Night of Champions. Sheamus even goes as far as deciding to take the whole month off and visiting his homeland of Ireland.

Sheamus def. Zack Ryder by pinfall; retains WWE Championship

Nexus’s music hits, interrupting Sheamus’s rant, and it’s Wade Barrett, Nexus’s leader, who makes his way to the ring on his own. Barrett takes the mic and tells Sheamus that he’s right, but that Barrett was the winner of season one of NXT. Barrett explains that he gets a title opportunity at the Pay-Per-View of his choice, and that he chooses Sheamus at the Night of Champions.

Blinks! Cole to the podium again. This GM email says: the Raw GM has upheld Barrett’s request, and Sheamus will defend the title against him at Night of Champions. The GM is also providing an opportunity to four other wrestlers, so that Sheamus will not only face Barrett, but the following four wrestlers in a Six-Pack Challenge Match: Chris Jericho, who makes his way to the ring. Randy Orton, who also enters the ring. Edge, the fifth wrestler to enter the match and the ring. And… John Cena, the sixth and final wrestler to enter the match and the ring. The five contenders stare down Sheamus, but Sheamus tosses Barrett into the middle of the circle, and the tables turn on Barrett as the five stare Barrett down now. Suddenly, they all beat down on Barrett. Sheamus tosses Barrett out of the ring, then Jericho nails a Codebreaker on Sheamus! Edge spears Jericho next, then Cena puts up and sets him down into an Attitude Adjustment. Orton is the last one left, and hits an RKO on Cena. Orton stands tall among the other six pack superstars in the ring, taunting the crowd as Raw goes off the air.

THE MIZ for his fire and determination in the ring. He’s finally getting the push he deserves. Great match with Cena

RANDY ORTON I’ll just say that he’s over with the crowd


NEXUS did not look strong by any means this week, and their interesting storyline after last week’s expulsion of Darren Young remained stagnant. They should have made a splash on Raw this week to reestablish their dominance…

Edge def. R-Truth by pinfall **
Chris Jericho def. The Great Khali by submission **
Melina def. Jillian by pinfall; retains Diva’s Championship **
The Miz def. John Cena by disqualification ****
Vladmir Kozlov & Santino Marella def. The Uso Brothers by pinfall ***
Randy Orton def. John Morrison and Ted DiBiase by pinfall ***½
Sheamus def. Zack Ryder

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