Kap’s Smoke Ring Vol. 5: Eddie Hearn, Danny Jacobs, Joseph Parker, Team Fury & The Jackal!
By “Kap” Kaplowitz
Truncated and tardy. Prunes and raw garlic. Please forgive me, gentlepersons. I’m under the autumn weather and should’ve called off but have yet to accumulate paid sick days. Now I’m afraid I’ve infested the entire Ringside Report offices. Oh, well. The prunes and raw garlic are cleansing and healing and by next week’s column entry I should be aces. And hopefully less smelly.
No cigar. Tissue stuck up my leaky left nostril. Lettuce commence…
For some time Eddie Hearn has had his eyes and his Matchroom Boxing promotion, set on the American Market. Already numero uno in Jolly ole chip chip cheerio and all that sort of rubbish govnah, England — his opening colonial gambit hath come now with one Daniel Jacobs. This past Saturday, Hearn announced his signing of the ex-Middleweight champion. Too, he announced a multi-fight HBO contract. All this under the new-born Matchroom Boxing USA. Now we’re looking to Nassau Coliseum’s November 11 bout twixt Jacobs and the undefeated Luis Arias whom’s ranked sixth by the IBF, ninth by the WBC, and twelfth by the WBO. Plus-sized prospect Jarrell “Big Baby” Miller, will make an undercard appearance. Apparently, I’m not as funny when sick. Get over it, you. Also: sorry.
When doth Bryant Jennings remove the WBO belt from Joseph Parker’s waisty-waist? I’m hearing it’s possible for December/January. This according to Parker’s promoter, one Mr. David Higgins. Or, his man’s next defense could be Japan-bound where the 31-year-old (17-1, 9 KO’s) Kyotaro Fujimoto could be it. “It” being it’d be of intrigue to see a Japanese pug run at the Heavyweight strap. With a fighter as limited as Parker, the title seems excitedly and extra-so up-for-grabs. Still no schtick here. This column is less weekly than weakly done. I am out of apologies and too, running low on vapor rub.
Staying with the limited Parker a tick longer, remember whenst Tyson Fury propelled himself into rage and ring at his baby cousin Hughie losing to the Mancunian pug via the Manchester scorecards? Mick Hennessy, Hughie’s promoter, is even going as far as hinting to corruption and filing of legal suit. Most legal suits are grey. Navy blue suits are mostly reserved for the financial district. Please pass the nasal spray. Oy, gevalt. Then mere hours later in a real “Behold the horror of donuts” moment, we see a happy and regretfully shirtless Tyson Fury doing whatever the Haka is, whilst partying alongside Parker and his camp. To lend even less credence to all involved, Team Hughie Fury is thinking of Lucas Browne next. And they said Ringling Bros. went the way of the dodo.
Lastly, whilst I barely cling to my only somewhat vertical alignment, Carl Frampton hath split from Barry McGuigan and signed with Frank Warren. More potentially ominous or at least afflicting: The Jackal also swapped trainer Shane McGuigan for Jamie Moore. I’m headed to bed, gentlepersons. As always, keep yer chin tucked and if you happen to be going to the store, can you pick me up some vim and or vigor?
To read and hear more of “Kap” Kaplowitz:
www.Kaplowitz.xyz and Kaplowitz Radio are the blog (daily) and podcast (Sundays & Wednesdays) homes of “Kap” Kaplowitz. In broad strokes, topics include: lifestyle, sports, and fashion. In more narrow strokes: cigars, boxing, baseball, and sweatpants. Want more? Advice and etiquette. Still more? Schtick Yiddish & Pig Shakespearean. Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day? Every week, Kap will make an appearance here at Ringside Report; smoking a stogie and unloading his boxing brains.
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