Doctor Curmudgeon® Is It Only Me Who Feels This Way About Black Friday?
[AdSense-A]
By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAFP
(EDITORIAL NOTE: From Sir Galahad, Siberian husky):
As the Major Domo in general charge of the Curmudgeon household, I attempt to edit these columns. Frequently I seek advice from Renpet, the Feline [“retired” CIA cat] as she has a legal degree. This column was written in a frenzy on the night before Thanksgiving, so it is a tad dated)
It is not just because I am a curmudgeon that I avoid Black Friday as if it were the plague.
I do not hate all holidays. There are all the festivities in December: Hanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa…that provide me with loving messages from celebrators and lots of good food.
We celebrate our pride in being a part of this country. Our flag is raised, July fourth, Memorial Day, Veteran’s day.
And who could possibly feel antipathy toward Thanksgiving? An aversion to Thanksgiving? No Bah. No humbug from this curmudgeon. I do not eat turkey (had a good friend who was a turkey, but that is for another column and another day) But, oh those wonderful vegetables; plain sweet potatoes (I like them unadorned, as I do hold an extreme dislike for marshmallows), green beans, mashed potatoes, pecan, pumpkin and apple pies, fresh biscuits…..aahhhh.
But Black Friday?
What demented mind dreamed this up?
I quake at the thought of standing in a near endless line.
And I understand that there are those who bring blankets, thermoses and other sustenance to camp near the front of the line on the night before. Has Black Friday Eve now joined Christmas Eve and Halloween Eve? People now station themselves at night just to be first to cram through the doors at their chosen shopping mission. They sit out there in the cold in the North and the damp and rain and humidity in the South.
And what of these bargains?
Are they really such fabulous deals?
Since I do not attend Black Friday functions, I have heard tales of hours in line to buy 1000 inch 4K ultra HD 3D TVs with smell vision and installation and delivery that can also tell you when your plants need watering and it is time to go to the dentist….for only two hundred dollars! Wow! What a great buy. Then you arrive and are told there was only one available and that has to be kept for the display model!
I now quote from the Great Wikipedia:
“There have been reports of violence occurring between shoppers on Black Friday. Since 2006, there have been 10 reported deaths and 111 injuries throughout the United States.[20] It is common for prospective shoppers to camp out over the Thanksgiving holiday in an effort to secure a place in front of the line and thus a better chance at getting desired items. This poses a significant safety risk, such as the use of propane and generators in the most elaborate cases, and in general, the blocking of emergency access and fire lanes, causing at least one city to ban the practice”
My own plans for the lovely Day After Thanksgiving (I refuse to think of it as Black Friday)?
1. Sleep late
2. Remain in pajamas
3. Coffee, toast, blueberries
3. Relax with crossword puzzle
5. Snack on mixed nuts
4. Too late for lunch
7. Dinner of homemade pizza and recorded TV programs of choice
8. Homemade cappuccino with leftover apple pie brought from friend’s home
9. Good book with slice of organic cheese
10. Husband to massage feet
11. Bed with good book until I fall asleep with nose in book
Will brush teeth and wash face in AM and PM…probably won’t even bother to shower on that special Day After Thanksgiving.
Husband is immune to any pungency I might have.
Doctor Curmudgeon® is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.
SERMO www.sermo.com “talk real world medicine”
[si-contact-form form=’2′]