Kap’s Smoke Ring Vol. 1: Rocky Marciano, Floyd Mayweather, JR, Andre Ward, Gennady Golovkin Vs Canelo Alvarez & More…
By “Kap” Kaplowitz
I have been offered the opportunity to pen a weekly column here. I am thankful. I went then, to my office which looks a lot like my wife makes me smoke my cigars on the porch. Cigars help me think.
Some of the eye-wear that Mayweather, JR. dons looks to be on loan from Celine Dion. Has Andre Ward yet secured the services of a decent barber? Why is Loma’s taunting of lesser opponents lauded, whilst the same action is seen as garish when performed by perchance more pigmented pugilists? I think all these thinks as I sit here in Pacific Northwest wildfire dirtied air, struggling to keep this stogie lit as the smoke tickles my eyes. And I ain’t crying. And I ain’t never been afraid…
But if I were to tear up, it’d be because the vastly hot air of ‘May Mac’ is still blowing through. I’m sensitive like that, and like this: Rocky Marciano. His legacy, and the just desserts thereof — the comeuppances it is at long-last receiving. “Mayweather, JR. shouldn’t have beat Marciano’s 49-0 that way.” I hear that some more than just some and… I get a bit choked up.
A bit verklempt. History, the passing of time. Giancarlo Stanton chasing the 61 of Maris, not Bonds’ 73. May I live long ’nuff to tinkle on the graves of them whom hurt me. Bury me up-side-down so the world can kiss my tuchus. While yer at it: may I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I’m dead. It all comes out in the wash and works out in the end. If it hasn’t yet, it ain’t the end.
This ain’t the end. Of this column, anyways. Thanks for reading thus far. I got more. More boxing and more cigar still left. The smoke swirls, the burn-line progresses, I pound out more on my Chromebook, big wheel keep on turning.
Why is Freddie Roach heck-bent on making Cotto go home on his shield? Now in his sights is the winner of Golovkin Vs Alvarez. Cotto don’t need neither and furthermore — neither need him. He looked solid against Kamegai, sure. But Kamegai is a punching bag whose main claim to fame is having gravel at his top. Good beard. Legacy. Cotto’s don’t need and can’t get much more. This is Roach adding to his own, I fear. And I ain’t never been afraid, but maybe Cotto should be — let us say, wary.
“Time to say goodbye. Thank you and goodbye boxing.” Nathan Cleverly tweeted after losing to Badou Jack on the ‘May Mac’ under-card. “I’ve lived it and loved every second of this sport. A few too many miles on the clock.” He’ll be back. They always come back, warns barkeep extraordinaire Moe Syzlack. I do think he’s got a tick more in the tank, Cleverly. Meanwhile, does Badou Jack have much upside? I think the proverbial glass ceiling tickles at his close-cropped hairs. Lo, and tho, he’ll beat Adonis Stevenson should that take place. But that’s more on “Superman,” soitenly. Also: ‘Miles on the clock?’ One cannot just mix metaphors and leave like a thief in the rising sun.
Oh, look. My cigar is but a nub and supper needs cooked. Afterward, I’ll busy myself by silently correcting Rick Glaser’s Facebook grammatical errors. I’ll be back here in a week, and thanks to all for having me as I’m so very glad to have been had, or my name ain’t Kaplowitz and Golovkin ain’t Mexican and… I’ll just see ya then and until that happy time, keep yer chin tucked.
To read and hear more of “Kap” Kaplowitz:
www.Kaplowitz.xyz and Kaplowitz Radio are the blog (daily) and podcast (Sundays & Wednesdays) homes of “Kap” Kaplowitz. In broad strokes, topics include: lifestyle, sports, and fashion. In more narrow strokes: cigars, boxing, baseball, and sweatpants. Want more? Advice and etiquette. Still more? Schtick Yiddish & Pig Shakespearean. Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day? Every week, Kap will make an appearance here at Ringside Report; smoking a stogie and unloading his boxing brains.
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