The Twilight Zone Review: The Gift
By William Kozy
When the popular question of “worst Twilight Zone episode” comes up on fan sites, we have become used to hearing the same episodes bandied about: “Cavender is Coming”, “The Bard”, “Black Leather Jackets”, etc. etc. But how is it that the truly worst episode of the series has consistently escaped mention? Yes, the truly worst episode of all, “The Gift” has cowered in the corner hoping not to be noticed when this debate arises. It has it all: terrible acting, senseless script, bad sound, and incompetent directing especially in its climactic scene. The episode received 6 votes in my survey of fans and writers asking, ‘What is your favorite episode of the original Twilight Zone series?’ tying it with 11 other episodes for 106th thru 116th place of the 156 episodes.”
We first see Sanchez, a Mexican policeman leading a burro carrying an unconscious man lying atop it. He enters a small village where he has attracted everyone’s attention. Poorly executed sound overlays of folks in the crowd exclaiming “What’s happening?”, “parece que está muerto” (“looks like he’s dead”), etc. My television’s closed caption calls it “indistinct chatter” but if only that were the case. The lines sound very closely recorded and slapped on top of the picture with a very present, close-up quality; in other words, the sound mixing made no effort to make the crowd voices throughout the episode sound as though they were coming from people in the background. The lines sound as though they were coming from a character having their close-up shot taken.
Sanchez stops at the town cantina where seizes Rudolpho, the telegrapher, who has been flirting with a hussy in a booth. Sanchez dictates a message to be sent to the prefect of police. He relates how a metallic, circular craft crashed into the hills nearby, whereupon he and his partner Salvador investigated. Salvador followed the footprints and Sanchez heard several gun shots. Sanchez found Salvador’s dead body, then followed the “monster” and fired several shot at “whoever…whatever it was.”
Pedro, a “rootless” little boy has been watching, listening. He works in the cantina for the unpleasant owner Manolo. And the boy playing him cannot act. Not a bit. Meanwhile, townsfolk hover over the body of Salvador. The town doctor examines him, and then confronts Sanchez, asking him “Who did it Sanchez?” Sanchez answers, “Please doctor, I do not know. Some giant thing who escaped in the darkness. I fired several shot and later I found some blood stains.” The doctor challenges him: “Some giant thing? Not the darkness or perhaps your fear?” Sanchez is insulted, but the doctor persists, “You’re the law and order in this village, Sanchez. Be the sanity as well. You have frightened all these people. I just want to make sure that the source of the fear is not an illusion.” Irate, Sanchez points down at the wounded man, countering “Is this an illusion?” From his guilty behavior we do suspect that Sanchez himself as well as the doctor may harbor the notion that Salvador may have suffered friendly fire from Sanchez.
The bartender Manolo and the doctor then have a discussion about Pedro’s background. Manolo goes in to quite a bit of detail, but in the end none of it really served to help us form any ideas about the character and how those biographical details related to the story, or this space traveller who we will meet in a second. Russian actor Vladimir Sokoloff plays a Latino for the third time in a Twilight Zone episode (see also “The Mirror” and “Dust”), and his blind guitarist character here in the cantina suggests gently to Manolo that he treat Pedro with more kindness.
Manolo is anxious to close up and as the doctor finishes his drink and leaves, both he and Manolo look up at someone approaching. Manolo has a look of unjustifiable horror, because the visitor as we will see, is completely normal looking. Perhaps it is the utterly bad line delivery of actor Geoffrey Horne that has Manolo backing up against the wall in shock. Horne plays the spaceman, who has been wounded, and staggers (sort of) into the cantina, asking for…get this: wine. Does wine have some sort of interstellar medicinal properties we’re not aware of? Pedro greets the man with grace telling him to have a seat while he gets him some wine. And the way the actor stares at the little boy, you’d think he came straight from a child sex trafficking ring. It’s bizarre. Manolo says he’s closing up, but the alien persists, promising not to stay long. When you want wine you gotta have wine after such a long space trip.
Manolo brings a bottle to his table, and because he’s so freaked out by the man, Manolo carelessly drops the wine bottle. As both men reach for it, Manolo sees blood all over the man’s hand. Manolo panics and runs to the door, whereupon the visitor clubs him over the head to knock him out, exclaiming to the doctor, “I didn’t want to hurt him. He gave me no choice.” Hell, maybe this alien DID shoot Salvador! He explains to the doctor how he has come in peace, and that earlier the two policemen had pulled guns on him and as he wrestled with Salvador’s, it went off. And that’s all he can utter as he faints.
Cut to: the alien in a back room being administered to by Pedro. They exchange some hair-brained philosophy, and then the alien tells Pedro to fetch a gift from his poncho. It looks like some sort of metallic book. He informs Pedro that he will bestow this gift to our world to show that he comes in peace, not as an invader.
Anyway, the doctor comes back and is impressed at how healthy the alien’s vital signs are depite having a bullet lodged in his chest. The doctor tells him he will be digging the bullet out but the alien refuses the anesthetic. Pedro says “but doctor you must give him something”, but the doctor has a hunch and obliges the alien’s wish. Post-surgery, the doctor unwinds with a whiskey, musing to Manolo about how odd his patient is—how could he be so strong after getting shot? How could he not have bled to death, he wonders. The doctor takes leave again, but not before finding out Manolo has informed the police that they can find him in the back room when they arrive. The doctor fires a zinger at Manolo calling him “Judas”. Cliff Osmond as Manolo shrugs it off making it clear that Bible studies was not an area Manolo knew much about.
“Mr. Williams”, which somewhere along the line Pedro has now taken to calling the alien visitor, lies awake. He tells Pedro that he will have to get back to his ship and repair it. But he promises Pedro that he will come back again to visit.
Just then, the authorities that Sanchez had reported to, arrive in a Jeep. Director Paul Mazursky plays the snooty commanding officer who sarcastically praises Sanchez: “You are a brave man Officer Sanchez, but, please explain to me if he is only one man and is too weak to move, why do you need us?” Sanchez explains that he is a creature, not a man. Manolo comes out to claim some credit for holding the alien here, and then the doctor joins the group advising that they not go in and claim his patient because he’s too weak to move. Mazursky’s Captain defies the doctor and goes in anyway after again jokingly expressing amazement at this brave village of “lions”. None of the butts of his sarcasm however, ever get that he is looking down on them.
As the Captain struts quickly into the back room, we see the window open. Williams has escaped capture. The Captain quickly tells his men to start searching. And when they spot him what ensues is one of the most ineptly staged and poorly performed showdowns in the history of any TV show. Williams is cornered, and the police quickly assemble and aim their weapons. Actor Horne stumbles about, unconvincingly. The townsfolk join in the fray, looking on and adding some laughably bad commentary.
Pedro comes running up crying out “Mr. Williams! Mr. Williams!” whereupon Williams manically tells Pedro to show the gift to the doctor, who has also shown up. The actor playing the doctor, Nico Minardos has been fine up to now, but in this final scene he has for some reason chosen to stick his hands in his pockets and keep them there the whole time, watching with the casualness of a man waiting for his morning coffee to come from a kiosk. Anyway, the boy takes out the gift, but Manolo grabs it and throws it on the ground. “Burn it! Burn it!” someone criess out, ala “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” Manolo grabs one of the torches the villagers wielded as though hunting Frankenstein’s monster, and he throws it onto the gift. It burns up and Williams breathlessly exclaims in shock, “Why did you do it?”
And then comes some physcial blocking that is hard to believe as you watch. Pedro walks ever so ploddingly toward the fire. Williams with arms held out wide to the side also walks slowly to Pedro. Villagers toss in an awkward patchwork of alarmed sentences and cries—the most hilariously awful is “Look out for the boy!” called out in some indiscernible accent that is definitely not Mexican. The editing is terribly choppy and feels intended to create a sense of chaotic panic, but instead just feels like an assistant editor dropped several strips of shots and reassembled them randomly for the final edit. Willam is shot dead by a trigger happy policeman. The doctor picks up the gift and reveals its secret—the aforementioned vaccine to cure all cancer. But the fire burned the formula. Snag on humanity’s ignorance!
If the Twilight Zone had a gift returns department, “The Gift” would be the first episode I returned. I rate it a 1.3.
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