Welcome to Nutsville, USA! We’ll Save You A Seat!

By Maya J. Carter

Have you been to the hottest travel destinations in the United States? These peculiar hamlets are not just confined within the minds of nuts across the country! They are found within the elusive, dark corners of many towns across the nation, so be prepared to gas up (or charge up) your ride, because you’ll be making stops at a number of terminals.

First stop: Insurrectionland, USA! This nutty destination is where you will find that the orange monstrosity will be reinstated to the highest office of the land. Here, a second insurrection is planned and a military coup will ensure his reinstatement will indeed happen. Potential activities include aiding in the tireless efforts of a deranged group of townsfolk to unearth torches, flagpoles, bear spray, and many other artifacts to restore the orange monstrosity to power. A cardinal law in Insurrectionland is to praise your local police department while actively fighting against them!

Second stop: Speakersborough, USA! Here you will find folks actively campaigning for the orange monstrosity to run for Congress. This burg was established within a castle called Mar-A-Lago, specifically at a desk. The hardworking constituents of Speakersborough are vying for the orange monstrosity to run for a seat in the United States Congress, and if he wins, the orange monstrosity will become Speaker of the House! They will finally rid the United States of our current Speaker who is their arch nemesis; her only crime is trying to restore our democracy to democratic norms, and the townsfolk cannot have that! They demand chaos, anarchy and sedition, which the orange monstrosity has previously proved that he can deliver with aplomb.

Third stop: Senators City, USA! This small city can be found in adjacent to Speakersborough, and a number of prominent has-been political leaders can be spotted here pretty much trying to do the same thing the not-so-happy folks of Speakersborough are trying to accomplish. The only difference is the goal in Senators City is to elect the orange monstrosity to the United States Senate. The overarching goal of both of these municipalities is to try to “impeach Joe Biden for his illegitimate activities of stealing the presidency,” as stated by the Mayor of all of Nutsville, the one and only Steve Bannon.

Fourth stop: Qarizona, USA! A highlight of the tour here is an event center worth the price of admission. You will witness high tech methods for detecting fraudulent bamboo laden presidential election ballots like using black lights. You will learn logic as the same ballots that are being investigated are looking to prove fraud in the presidential election, but no other races on the same ballots. You have to be quick like a bunny in locating the always evasive Cyber Ninjas who change their methods by the second in order to fit their narrative, as many unknowing tourists have cruelly poked fun at their (non-) erudite technological advancements in uncovering election tampering.

Fifth stop: Tyrantshire, USA! This place is a must if time travel is your cup of tea. The town will be established in 2024 when the potential Speaker of the House and Senator Orange Monstrosity will also become President of the United States…again, even after being impeached TWICE! All of the townsfolk in Tyrantshire appreciate the triple threat (that is malignant narcissist, psychopathic and Machiavellian) Orange Monstrosity’s manner in which he can demolish their rights as endowed by the United States Constitution line by line, and then blame their own lunacy and lack of “freedoms” on the current President of the United States, “libtards”, “snowflakes”, people working hard to ensure civil rights, and pretty much everyone sane in the country.

Sixth stop: Pencestead, USA! There is only one resident of this plain nook of the USA, former Vice President Mike Pence (but there are numerous flies so bring a swatter). In this homely hamlet you can listen to speeches by Pence where he proclaims that “he doubts that he and former President Donald Trump will ever see ‘eye to eye’ over the Jan. 6 insurrection led by a mob of pro-Trump supporters at the U.S. Capitol,” yet reverse on a dime and state such infamous lines about his Lord and Savoir the orange monstrosity as: “but I will always be proud of what we accomplished for the American people over the last four years.” Unmatched genuflection and sycophancy can only be seen in daylight in Pencestead as nighttime is for evildoers and Mother does not allow naughtiness. Pencestead is an essential tourist destination for all political leaders who bend the knee to their dear leader, the orange monstrosity, so you if you book your ticket now, you might see the likes of some Republican leaders learning the teachings of the master sycophant who defends the orange monstrosity despite the orange monstrosity’s ability to draw in crowds of his most ardent supporters who have chanted “hang Mike Pence” at the United States Capitol.

There are a few more stops in Nutsville, USA, such as Fauxchester, Newsmaxbury, Breitbartmouth, and the Isle of OANN, but be prepared to be bored out of your gourd listening to the same lies repeated over and over after about 5 minutes in these locales. Bring a universal remote with an active mute button (and off button) if you are not buying what their gift shops are selling.

Well, happy travels…maybe? Oh, and please review the terms and conditions as provided by our travel agents for Nutsville, USA: Our booking agents reserve the right to decline anyone from joining a tour with justifiable cause, such as being a concerned citizen of the United States and wanting to protect our democracy. We also reserve the right to remove you from a tour if you are a hazard to yourself or others by stating facts regarding corruption and lies spread by the residents of aforementioned hamlets, impacting the enjoyment of others who believe these lies, or participating in any legal activity. Any costs resulting from being removed from a trip or being declined participation in a trip is at your expense. We accepts no responsibility for any plane, train or automobile cancellation penalty incurred by the purchase of a non-refundable ticket or any other cost that you may incur, much like supporters of the orange monstrosity must sign “no take-back” disclosures when they donate to his fraudulent causes.

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