Know Your Mind?

By Radical Rhymes

I had time to kill recently, waiting, sitting in a car waiting. Usually I would draw or read, but instead I decided to conduct an experiment – I wanted to explore my own mind through the lens of judgement.

In essence, I wanted to investigate, through observation and measurement, whether I could establish a means of knowing what I like by rating different cars. I’ve always loved cars, though I recognize the harm they do, so it felt like a good vehicle (pardon the pun) for the experiment.

I would rate cars that passed out of ten, where 0 was something I would never drive, and 10 was a car I would love to own.

At one level it worked well, there were cars at each extreme that I could readily identify. The problem came in center of my scale, and this was about relevant factors: colour, shape, purpose, and comparison. Why was that car a 5 rather than a 6? In the end what I learned was twofold – first, that establishing a measurement is incredibly hard to achieve, and second, I do not entirely know my own mind.

This all came about because I have experienced a lifelong issue with knowing what I want to do with my spare time.

Should I watch a film/movie? Play a video game? Read a book? Write or draw? What should I elect to do? I spend inordinate amounts of time trying to decide what I really want to spend my time on.

Having made a decision I invariably wonder whether I’ve made the right choice? It is impossible to focus on what I’m doing completely, because I am reflecting on the wisdom of that choice. This leads inevitably to regret. I always feel that I’ve made the wrong turn.

However, what I’ve learned from this reflection is not that I will find a way to know my own mind, but rather that I have to choose and live with that choice. Secondarily, I’m beginning to understand that being mindful, doing what you are doing is the only way to operate…

Ultimately, I still do not know my own mind. Does anyone?

Radical Rhymes is a professional artist working with a range of media – predominantly animal/human portraits and landscapes – including, most recently, hand painted furniture. You can see his work on Instagram Radicalrhymes1969 or on Twitter @RhymesRadical.

For commissions, please contact him on Twitter via Direct Message or by email at: radicalrhymes@outlook.com His work is also available to buy on Etsy

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