The World Through My Eyes

By Ty Ross

As a woman of color, as a mother of color, I live a different truth. A different reality. One shaped by the world around me. I can’t not be affected by the stories I see of assault, abuse, racism, ugliness and hate. I cannot ignore the mother’s pain of losing her child too soon because I could be that mother at any moment. At any time. I don’t have the luxury of ever letting my guard down. Of going even one day without my insurance, license or registration up to date. I can’t ‘oh I forgot to go before they were closed, I’ll do it tomorrow, because if I get pulled over tonight… tomorrow may never come.

I don’t have the benefit of the doubt. I don’t have the benefit to be able to protect myself from non-people of color who choose to bully, harass or frighten me for no other reason needed than the color of my skin, if I fight back. If I stand up for myself, I will be the one going to jail. Or worse. I am supposed to be the ‘bigger’ person while they unload a slew of bile and hate. Hurl insults and epithets ‘my way. I teach my children to do the same. Because I would rather them be made to feel less than, by someone less than. Than to have their lives taken from them, and from me. Because they know damn well they aren’t.

Things that you take for granted, I can’t afford to. I no longer drive at night. I drive under the speed limit. What if my daughter and her girlfriend are walking and holding hands? I have to modify my behavior because others are allowed to behave as if the rules, laws and boundaries don’t apply to them. They do, because they can. Because the Rittenhouses and the Longs have shown them they can. Because you have shown them, they can. With your looking the other way, this doesn’t affect me, my kids, my friends, my family, my coins, my life, then I can’t be bothered attitude. Moving through life as if you’re reading a book, but skipping over, ignoring and neglecting to read the parts of it you don’t like or understand so that it doesn’t or because it won’t, affect your point of view or perspective of the story.

Every day I prepare myself, brace myself and ask myself: What am I gonna do or say if/when my son comes home today with tears in his eyes and tells me someone called him a n*gger? How am I gonna put the pieces of his broken perspective back together? Will he ever be the same? Every day it doesn’t is another day he gets to be a kid and I can hold on to hope just a little bit longer, that he won’t have to bear the burdens that his complexion and his ancestors have inherently passed down to him. Another day he gets to believe the world, this country and the people in it are better than I know it is.

Check out Ty’s book THE POWER OF PERSPECTIVE. It’s a collection of affirmations she wrote to get her through a difficult time in her life. Words of wisdom that apply to anyone, and everyone, to get through the hard times. If you’re questioning yourself, and need a reminder that you are in control… Click HERE to order your copy.