Concentration

By Radical Rhymes

I’ve known for some time that my concentration levels aren’t as good as they ought to be. For me that is partly about my nature, I have always been in my head, daydreaming or lost in my imagination. When I was younger it was often boredom that led me away from my immediate reality. As a young admin assistant in the Civil Service, I was responsible for reams of filing, trays and trays of it, and I was so bored that I made countless silly mistakes.

I recall the walk of shame I had to repeat over and again to the Head Executive Officer’s room to have my mistakes painfully outlined to me. At the time I suffered because I thought I was stupid, and that the problem was internal. These days I realize that it was the work. Cooped up for hours at the age of 17, doing the dullest most repetitive work imaginable, with a group of people that I wouldn’t choose to spend any time with (not that they were bad people, just that they weren’t ‘my’ kind of people).

It was tedious and soul destroying, and I knew from the first hour that I spent there that I had to escape – it took me nigh on six years though. I couldn’t concentrate because there were better ways to spend my time, and dreams that I still had to pursue.

Some of my concentration issues are due to the mental health issues that I have. As a bipolar sufferer with acute anxiety and dysmorphia, the downside is also an upside, of sorts. Alongside the depressive aspects of the bipolar I have mild manic episodes. These are useful in that they spark creativity and energy. I once wrote an academic book in 2 months.

It can engender focus, but at times it leads to rapid cycling, flitting from one project to another, unable to fix my attention on any single thing. Most of the time I’m working on several projects at a time anyway, so it isn’t a problem. In fact, I would say that the inability to concentrate in this context is more valuable than damaging.

However, the attack on our ability to concentrate by the way society is developing I find more troubling. In the past, before mobile phones and the allure of social media, I was at least able to maintain my focus on leisure activities. I was able to listen to music or watch a film/movie without constantly referring to my phone for news, communications or other updates. These days it is becoming increasingly harder to do that.

Watch a little – check phone – read a little – check phone – listen a little – check phone. It’s a staccato process that I find very difficult to break. So, I am trying (amidst a dramatic collapse of mood) to avoid it. I am leaving my phone and laptop somewhere inconvenient to reach. And it pays dividends. I rewatched some old films recently and learned something new. In Star Wars: Return of the Jedi there was something I’d never seen before, a moment that was definitely worthy of a good laugh; slightly shocking, actually. I would tell you what it was, but that would defeat the object of this piece… Watch it again yourself, pay close attention and you will, I’m certain, see what I saw!

The other thing I noticed while watching Alien again – after many years – was just how the current ‘thousand miles a second’ approach to filming has impacted on me. The Hobbit trilogy is a prime example. You can’t sit still for a second, it is unrelenting action; 8 plumped out, fabricated hours of it. As a Tolkien fan I find the films something of an affront anyway, but it’s the over-stacked action that ultimately kills them for me. Fight and flight in spiralling, dizzying motions.

Now Alien is utterly different. It’s slow burning, atmospheric, eerie. The silence of space, the creepy, inhuman interiors of the space craft, and the strangeness of an alien world, all combine to create a spine-tingling horror that unfolds at just the right pace. You are there, with the crew, you see the progressions of the plot and you are immersed, the buy-in is total. At least it was after I got over the little voice that whispered inside my head: Nothing’s happening.

That isn’t my voice though it is, it’s the voice of the modern world. Busy, doing, busy, doing, busy doing. What’s happening? Nothing’s happening! Now that I hear it clearly, now that I see and feel its consequences, I’m going to resist it in every way I can. Alien for me then, you can keep the Hobbit trilogy!

Radical Rhymes is a professional artist working with a range of media – predominantly animal/human portraits and landscapes – including, most recently, hand painted furniture. You can see his work on Instagram Radicalrhymes1969 or on Twitter @RhymesRadical.

For commissions, please contact him on Twitter via Direct Message or by email at: radicalrhymes@outlook.com His work is also available to buy on Etsy