A Wedding and A Wake Up Call

By Janet Grace

I traveled to my New York home town, two weeks ago for my best friend’s daughter’s wedding.

Although I’d been stashing cash away for the gift and 300 mile trip for months, it caught me unaware when I received a one line text from my BFF: “You comin’?”

That’s NY-Speak for “GTF Up here in a NY minute!”

Oy! I had miscalculated the wedding date by a week, and here I was, enjoying a peaceful night practicing arpeggios and runs on my custom built Les Paul, on a regular Thursday night in Maryland, with a full scaled, high profiled wedding about to begin without me on the East End of the Long Island South Shore, in less than 12 hours.

How fast can you say: “Oh, shit!”?

I grabbed the LP, amp, an entire bag of freshly done laundry, the dress, stilettos, make up, manicure case, money, my mini-me Chihuahua, Jacqueline, and hit the street, NYC bound, in the middle of the night.

I arrived two hours before nuptials, stashed Jacqui in the bridal suite; as instructed, and left her happily resting in her travel tent while I slid into my dress, heels and reached my seat in time for the ceremony downstairs.

I checked on my Little Nugget every hour and every time I entered the suite, she was being loved up by someone in the bridal party or their children.

Little Jacqui is very eager to love and be loved. I am glad it added a little highlight to the day despite the groom’s anger wanting to know “who the fuck brought the fucking dog”, as if a seven inch high, six pound, thirteen year old, professionally trained but aged out service dog with poor eyesight, was going to scamper down giant (to her) flights of steps and take a “Great Dane” sized dump in the middle of the wedding, during the Big Moment.

Any Supposedly Intelligent Being lacking compassion equals A NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE, in my book. There. I said it, stand by it and will publish it. You’re a Dick, Buddy! My dog behaves better than you do on any given day. I see you.

The wedding was everything you would want for your child’s special day. There was much dining, dancing and laughter. A wonderful night was had by all.

The Mother Of The Bride outshone The Bride with her smile, alone. She was so happy. I was happy for her. Her daughter; the bride, is STUNNING while wearing a potato sack; however, wearing her delicately stitched backless wedding gown with the long veil and train, had her transform into her true self: a Goddess. Standing together, you could see the beautiful resemblance between herself and her mother, The Queen.

The following week, after smelling the ocean and enjoying its beauty at their Honeymoon Hideaway Bungalow, and despite the warnings advising folks that those beautiful waters are actually located in the middle of the ocean, which; without proper diving gear, drags one to the bottom of the sea, the beautiful bride jumped in, without any gear and was instantly dragged down. The new husband, (The NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE) encouraging and filming the fateful dive, dropped the phone right after the dive was filmed, but not before sending it to the parents.

“Imagine if she hadn’t survived?” Was what her Mom had said. “All we’d have would be a video of her jumping in, never to be seen again. Horrible.”

Luckily, the Newlywed Husband was successful in battling the sea to retrieve his new bride, seconds before she met her end.

Yeah, I made the sign of the cross as some of we, recovering Catholics still do, the second I’d learned of the Honeymoon Save, thankful that the bride, who I love like a niece, and her new spouse, “GRR”, were safe and neither my BFF; nor her family, would have to deal with such a tragedy.

I begin planning my journey back to Maryland. I’ve missed you all. Who knows what new adventures await? Whatever they may be, I know there will be a happy ending. There always is. We’ll find out.

Have an amazing day, Peeps

JG )O(