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Keep Reading… This Will Enrage You!



By Donald “Braveheart” Stewart

As I sit in my Kailyard I often wonder about the future.

I am actual outraged today…

The principal of a school in Florida has been made to resign after showing their school students pornography.

Let that sink in for a moment.

We have been in a #metoo movement, had the Bill Cosby scandal and seen Hollywood A-listers defend themselves in court. So, it should hardly be a surprise that yet another one of those reprehensible people has been caught and punished by losing their job. Scumbag, right?

I mean who would stand and defend this person, who has clearly used this material to groom and pollute the minds of their students. These, after all, were sixth graders. Thank the Lord that there are clear minded parents who would raise this as a topic and get this disgusting human being who parades such filth off the school campus.

It makes you proud to be American.

That this type of lesson was even considered appropriate for 11- and 12-year-olds is dreadful. It served as a reason as to why two parents asked to see the material BEFORE it was even taught. And rightly so, may is ay!

I mean what else may be going on in the mind of the school Principal, Hope Carrasaquilla of Tallahassee Classical School. Classical school – huh – as if by calling it a “classical” school would any of us be fooled.

I trust that they are being pilloried in their community, flogged, tarred and feathered for her role in even thinking she could defend such actions.

And what about the mealy mouthed school board – they gave her an ultimatum to resign or be fired. What was that all about? The ducking stool should have been brought back for her humiliation to be public. Mind you, it got all the way over to the UK, so she better not think about coming over here to start her nonsense.

As for the pornographer, let nobody be in doubt, that, though he no longer be alive, Michelangelo should forthwith be banned from every American school. I may have thought for a second that it was impressive that a turtle could actually do sculpturing but I soon realized, this was a smokescreen. This was part of his demonic attempt to get to our kids. He would be in a kids’ cartoon, worming his way into our homes whilst peddling his filth inside the classroom and once he had our kids captured, he would then draw them into his evil plot, like fish dragged from the sea in a naughty net. Apparently, he did the statue between 1501 and 1504. Surely he should have been doing better things after 3pm on any school day?

Thank the Lord for the Barney Bishop III, who was the chair of that school board. He stepped in and he is impressive – there appears to be three of him. He rightly called it all an egregious mistake referring to when the school principal had sent out warnings a year before about these lessons. This was so obviously insufficient time for the parents to consider what this and other pieces of porn might mean for the 11- and 12-year olds to consider. Further lessons around work by some man named Botticelli – I thought that was a wine, but that might be there attempt to intoxicate the youth! That’s it, get them in with a turtle, then drug them with a decent red, bingo – have been shelved!

You mark my words; this will all end up in a New York pizzeria!

And the size of this sculpture, of some man called David who once killed some other fella called Goliath – more violence and sex no doubt for our fresh young minds to be corrupted by – is 17 feet tall! Naked! With his man bits exposed for all to see!

What would happen if one of those young kids went home with a tape measure! How would an ill-informed dad cope?

And the story of David and Goliath is all explained in some book apparently. This is clearly a book based upon some form of proclivity and we have the right man to head that off – he is after all called Bishop so he must be Christian and really religious. And if you don’t believe me – DO YOUR RESEARCH…

I did and found that in Ron De Santis’ state of Florida, a group of six graders went to see one of the most iconic statues by Michelangelo as part of their studies. They were also going to study his Creation of Adam and Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, both of which are on loan locally. This would be a once in a lifetime opportunity for these young kids to see some of the artistic wonders of the world.
Instead, they shall not be exposed to this and will be protected by this school board… Actual?

A view from the new Kailyard or, how you look over there, from over here…

(Kailyard n. a cabbage patch, often attached to a school of writing – the Kailyard School – a genre of overly sentimental and sweet Scottish literature from the late 19th century where sentimental and nostalgic tales are told in escapist tales of fantasy, but here we seek to reverse it by making the Kailyard Observations of effective invective comment from that looks not to return to the past but to launch us into a better future by the one Donald worth believing…

Actual…Spoken by Scottish teenagers to denote incredulity when faced with a fact that is clearly nonsense, generally asking those a little older to grow up and grow a pair.

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