Donald Trump Arrested In New York

By Nikki Slusher

Donald Trump is officially living the worst week of his life. On Tuesday he finally surrendered himself at the Manhattan courthouse in New York City. The former president left Florida on Monday where I’m sure Melania was waving bye in her “I Love NY” t-shirt.

After his arraignment, it was revealed the orange guy is facing 34 felony counts of falsifying business records and conspiracy. The indictments carry a term of 34 to 136 years in a New York state prison if he is found guilty by the jury. Considering Trump’s age, that’s basically a life sentence.

Lots of characters showed up at the Manhattan courthouse on Tuesday awaiting the former president’s arrival to his 2:15 p.m. EST arraignment. There were a few Trump supporters, anti-Trump protesters, Reps. Bowman (D-NY), George Santos (R-NY) and Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA). The two latter congress members were not given a warm welcome either.

George Santos showed off his new lip-filler while blabbering off his swollen lips about how this was a witch hunt and “old news” so Trump shouldn’t be facing charges. Marjorie Taylor Greene yelled her usual nonsense into a microphone for less than five minutes before she had security escort her away from those radical New Yorkers who gave her a taste of finding out after fucking around in their city.

Michael Rapaport attended the protests, telling reporters that Trump was indicted because he is “an antagonistic asshole who ran out of favors.” Rapaport was also caught yelling at Marjorie Taylor Greene during her brief appearance before she was rushed away from the crowds. “You QAnon lunatic. Hit her with the space lasers,” he shouted as she passed by. He ended with, “Get the fuck out of New York you racist, sick, filthy, infected animal. Get the fuck out of here.” Now that’s just *chefs kiss* magnifique.

It’s rumored that Trump will be facing another set of indictments down in Georgia for his “perfect phone call” asking state officials to find him 11,780 votes — just one more than President Biden’s vote total which handed him the win in the state in 2020. In typical Trump fashion, he will be holding a press conference at Mar-a-Lago on Tuesday evening to address the matter. I’ll be posting a recap on his insanity as soon as I can.

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