Elon Musk Challenges Mark Zuckerberg With Bizarre Idea

By Nikki Slusher

The news headlines this year really make me believe that 2023 is not real. I didn’t even believe my dad at first when he called me after work to tell me about the latest Elon Musk vs. Mark Zuckerberg feud. In this week’s episode of Keeping Up with the Caucasians we have two middle-aged billionaires showing us all how just because they’re richer, doesn’t mean they’re smarter than us.

Last Thursday Mark Zuckerberg launched his new social networking app Threads, which during its first few days has already gained over 100 million users. Naturally Elon Musk, another tech billionaire who’s currently been tanking Twitter, turned his attention to more important matters — like Mark Zuckerberg’s penis.

If you thought UFC’s Dana White coordinating a fight between these two was ridiculous, Musk took things a step further when he tweeted, “Zuck is a cuck.” Eight hours later Musk proposed a new competition with Zuckerberg. “I propose a literal dick measuring contest,” Musk stated in his follow up Tweet.

Tension between Zuckerberg and Musk has been building as the two have gotten into scuffles in the past. Trace William Cowen who writes for Complex summed it up best that “what’s already been determined is that both of these men are not only insufferable, but loudly (and constantly) so.” As for Zuckerberg, he’s yet to comment about Musk’s date night plans and has been busy celebrating the successful launch of Threads.

“Threads reached 100 million sign ups over the weekend,” Zuckerberg posted on Threads. “That’s mostly organic demand and we haven’t even turned on many promotions yet. Can’t believe it’s only been 5 days!” Roughly 5 million of the 100 million users signed up within the app’s first four hours of its release. If Zuckerberg decides to comment on Elon’s penis you all will be the first to know.

It’s unsure if the two will ever match up in the ring or with a ruler, but this makes me question how men were chosen as the dominant gender when they literally threaten a dick measuring contest to show how much “better” they are. It’s kind of ironic that the kind of people worried about their kids seeing drag queens have no problem with a grown man having interest in another man’s genitals.

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