LGBTQ+ Indepth With… Boris Dittrich

Exclusive Interview by Karen Beishuizen
Photos courtesy of Boris Dittrich

Boris Dittrich is 68 years old. Professionally, he is a writer of fiction books (novels and thrillers). Besides writing books, he is a senator in the Dutch parliament. His second term of four years started in June 2023. He loves reading fiction and non-fiction. Boris and his husband Jehoshua Rozenman have been together for 41 years and are married since 2006.

KB: Where were you born and how was it growing up?

I was born in Utrecht, a city in the middle of the Netherlands. Born in 1955, it was a time when society was strictly siloed on the basis of religion. My parents were roman catholic, so I went to a catholic nursery, elementary school, high school, soccer club etc. It was a time, ten/twenty years after the end of the second world war, when people became more prosperous. Cars, tv was introduced. It was a hopeful time if you belonged to one of the groups in society. If you did not belong to any of those groups, you would have a hard time. Homosexuality was a taboo, a disgrace for your family, it would make a professional career impossible.

KB: How old were you when you realized you were gay and what made you think this?

Looking back, I realized at an early age that I was different, and it had to do with my sexual orientation. At the time that wasn’t very clear to me. When I was about 14 years old, I hoped – and prayed- that I was bisexual and that I could repress the homosexual part of me. When I turned 18 years old and still deep in the closet, my sister came out as lesbian. My parents were shocked, wanted to send her to conversion therapy, turned against her. I took up the role as mediator between my sister and my parents, thus pushing myself even deeper in the closet. I could not burden my parents with also coming out as gay. They had only two children and they told me: “thank God you are straight, and we will get grandchildren through you. You will keep the family line unbroken…”

KB: When did you come out as gay?

I had a girlfriend and told her I thought I was bisexual but would do my best to be straight. Of course, this did not work and after 5 years we decided to split. This was in 1982. We are still best friends. I was 26 years old when I started my new life as an openly gay man.

KB: How did your family and friends react?

My parents were shell socked and sent me away from home. They said: “God has given us not one, but two crosses to carry on our shoulders. Don’t ever mention to others that you are gay, because the world is not ready for you”. Some friends turned away; others stayed close.

KB: Did they know at your workplace / School / University you were gay?

I was a lawyer at the time in a big, quite conservative law firm. My colleagues knew my girlfriend, so it was quite a break to introduce them to my boyfriend. They were ok with it after initial hesitance.

KB: Where did you meet your husband and when did you get married?

I met my husband in 1982 on the first night that I was single (after my girlfriend moved out). It was on April 24, 1982, the night that Nicole won for Germany the Eurovision Song contest with the song ‘Ein bisschen Frieden’. I instantly fell in love with him and he with me. We have been together ever since (so 41 years). We decided to get married in 2006. At the time I was a prominent politician in the Netherlands and had pushed for same sex marriage legislation. I received death threats. In 2004 Theo van Gogh, a Dutch filmmaker, was assassinated. This was a time with a radical group of young Muslims (Hofstadgroep). I was on their death list and had to be protected by the police. That triggered me to ask my husband to marry me so if something was to happen to me, he would be legally protected. We married on 6-6-06 hoping we would never forget our wedding day. Unfortunately, every year we forget to celebrate on the day itself.

KB: What do you think of all the religions out there who still see being gay as a sin?

What these religions have in common is that there is a fear of gay people. They discriminate against them pretending that their God only loves heterosexual people. Religion can make people be blind and withdraw into their bubble of likeminded fanatics. Religions can have a detrimental effect on those who want to live outside of the norms religions like to impose on others.

KB: Did you ever have hate experiences or incidents?

Yes. As said above I received death threats. In 2007 a young Muslim man who wanted to murder me got sentenced to 7 years in prison. But in the whole I never experienced blatant discrimination.

KB: Homosexuality is still a crime in many countries around the world. How do you feel about this?

People should be free to love who they want. So, the criminalization of homosexual conduct should be abolished. But also, the underlying causes of homophobia and transphobia should be addressed. Local and international NGOs like Human Rights Watch play an important role in making the general public aware that LGBT rights are human rights.

KB: What would you like to say to all the homophobes out there?

Stop being insecure. Open yourself to people who might be different from you, and you might discover you have much in common with LGBT people. They could be your father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, colleague, friend, neighbor etc. Embrace differences, it makes Life worthwhile.

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