Transitions And Awakenings
By Jim Koury
Life brings many transitions that serve as periods of awakening, moving us forward to discovering the purpose of our lives. Many transitory periods can be painful, but just as many can be pleasant, rewarding, and downright awe-inspiring. As human beings, we are inherently resistant to change and the many transitory periods we experience during our lifetimes. Resisting change and embracing the evolution from one point to another can create havoc on one’s psyche. The turbulence of mind and spirit that can ensue makes the change even more difficult to endure and embrace.
While not easy to fully comprehend at times, we must look upon our periods of transition, both good and challenging, as learning experiences and awakening moments – ones that help us grow and understand ourselves better. Doing so is often easier said than done, as we tend to muddy the waters with resistance, fear of the unknown, and uncertainty over what may lay before us. We tend to begin to overthink and create scenarios in our minds that likely will never come to fruition and bury ourselves within the past that was comfortable and known to us. Life’s transitions are simply a natural progression of our evolution as individuals, awakening us to where we are meant to be.
Life is like a river within us. As the raging waters mold the surrounding mundane landscape into natural wonders, life’s river tends to carry us to places we never expected to be in or cause us to experience growth in ourselves, which at one time was unthinkable. Going with the flow of our internal river and succumbing to the power of our intuitive ability allows the unearthing of the natural wonders hidden deep within us to propel us toward our greatness, whatever that may be. Rest assured, our greatness will manifest itself if we allow what is to be and that which we must have faith in to occur.
Sadly, many resist the force of their river that drives them and disregard those intuitive messages sent to us from the powers that watch over and guide us. They constantly try to swim ashore to the safety of known entities and secure paradigms of thought that do not challenge them to look introspectively upon their lives and assess why they have not achieved the many things that swirled in their heads as young children. To not go with the flow and accept our transitions will hinder the propulsion of our inner spirit to explore and discover that which, for most of our lives, were unimaginable facets of ourselves.
This is especially true when one is hiding themselves in the closet, fearing to embrace their sexuality and who they are to be. As I can attest from my own experience, queer individuals will redirect their river away from its natural flow, thus creating internal confusion, anger, and
resentment that they cannot be who they inherently are and were born as. They fall prey to their insecurities and the influences of others upon their lives. They begin to mold themselves into what others expect them to be instead of allowing their natural river to carry them to their sea of greatness.
Using my life as an example, I remember times from the past when I stood at a crossroads at which I needed to decide which direction my life would go. I remember these moments from a very young age, but I did not understand what precisely these moments were. As a child, I knew I was not like the other boys I was hanging around. I sensed something was off, as I was not as interested in girls as my friends were, and I always preferred the companionship of my fellow male friends over that of girls in my classes and life. Out of fear of not knowing why I felt the way I did, I would bury the feelings and ignore them the best I could. However, a new crossroad would emerge, and I had to make the same decision again, where I ultimately could not differentiate reality from the false world I was creating. I kept redirecting my river to suit others instead of me and what I needed. I began to burrow into a solitary existence, as it was easier than facing the reality of my truth, that I was gay.
At a certain point in our evolution, we begin to realize that happiness is not a function of meeting the expectations of others or hiding our truth from the world and, more importantly, ourselves. Something clicks inside us, where we decide we have had enough and slowly reject the façade we constructed around ourselves to hide within. Some, sadly, never get to the point where they say “enough” and begin to let their natural river mold them into who they are supposed to be. They died with their truth buried inside and deprived themselves of life’s greatness out of fear of what others may think. Allowing others to direct our natural river is a travesty, immoral, and unnecessary.
Sadly, many of the security measures I instilled within myself to hide my truth still exist today in some form or fashion, even though I may desire to dispel them permanently. While I enjoy being apart from the superficialness of others and their negative influence, I realize that this is also a direct result of hiding and drawing back from others when they get too close out of fear of discovering my secret. Trust in others, becoming vulnerable in love, and other natural things many experience suffer as a result. The important thing, however, is that I awakened to the reality of the situation and continue to try my best to overcome the challenges of the life that once was. I have faith that will happen.
I encourage all who may be in the same situation I was/am in to dive into the transition that may unfold before you and awaken to your new truth beyond the confines of your human consciousness. Listen to the spirit within you to muster the courage to bravely face unknown challenges that may arise in a new journey toward a new paradigm of being. Those who overcome their fear of the unknown and stay within the natural flow of their rivers will be the ones who experience all that life has to offer. It will create connections with the human condition that fulfill us and make us whole with ourselves and with the universal power surrounding us to make our world better for all of humanity.
Jim is the author of two books, Unredacted, and Soul Journey, and also publishes an online publication, Diversity Rules Magazine. He resides in Upstate New York in the city where he was born, with his dog Lina and cat Critter.