In Lieu of Religion — Spirituality
By Jim Koury
In a prior article, I spoke about the scourge of religion and how its impact on society has caused much pain and anguish, not to mention countless deaths through the ages. I said in that essay that I have abandoned any association with organized religion and institutional churches, as they serve no ends but their own, at the expense of the flock who donate countless sums of money that they cannot afford to contribute in the first place. Since that point of abandonment, I have been on a journey of enlightenment that transcends the bounds of organized religion and is much more liberating and conducive to one’s individuality. I consider myself a spiritual person rather than a religious one. What does that mean exactly? Well, I will tell you!
After that moment in time, when I sat in Mass and walked out to never return after listening to a priest go on and on about the evils of homosexuality, I had nothing to fall back on. I rejected a paradigm of thought that I clung to for so many years after coming out as a gay man. I was floundering. I needed something to replace that which I left behind. I was in a mess financially and mentally and considered, albeit momentarily, suicide as an option. I quickly abandoned that idea, as I had much to live for despite the shit that swirled around me and was, in large part, my doing.
One night, I was sitting at the computer, chatting in what was then known as gay.com. It was a great chat forum where I could immerse myself in queer with other men, many of whom were searching for something, as well. Mainly to get off and much less on any meaningful association with like-minded men. I had no issue with that, as I had undertaken the same thing. Men will be men, you know? Deep down, I wanted something else. I did not know what it was, but I knew something was missing.
Out of the blue, a dude hit me up. I had no idea who he was. He was a total stranger. He said to me that he was a psychic, and he picked up a vibe from me that I was in turmoil. I told myself, ok, this guy is just trying to get in my pants, but I will listen to him. He said he had sensed financial issues and mental distress, which indeed was the case. He told me he knew of a woman who could help me. He would contact her about me and that I was to call her in a few days. I had dropped the conversation and never called her.
Then, a couple of days after my conversation with Michael, I had something happened that only exacerbated my situation more. I sat at my desk, looked up at the ceiling, and begged for an answer. After I said that, my eyes went to the slip of paper with Ada’s number that Michael had given me. Well, I picked up my phone and hesitatingly dialed her number.
I had never spoken to a psychic formally before. I had some minor exposure to those with powers before that point, and one told me that I would leave the Catholic Church as it would no longer meet my needs. She had also told me, after sitting back in her chair, with such a profound
look on her face, that the hand of God was upon me. When she told me these things, I thought she was nuts and never would I do what she said. Well, that IS what happened, and the woman had said it to me years before I got to the point of abandoning such an oppressive and stagnant religious environment based on conformity of thought and adherence to manufactured dogma, meant to control people.
I booked an appointment with Ada. As I sat in the waiting room, not knowing what to expect, I sensed a calming force in the establishment. I felt at ease, albeit a bit nervous about it all. What would she tell me? We naturally fear being told things we do not want to hear. That was sort of my expectation with the impending reading. Well, was I surprised! It was nothing as I had expected and very revealing. She told me things only I would know, identifying relatives and spiritual forces I would only recognize. She was the real deal, and I saw her many times more after that initial encounter. She was a force in my life that I needed. She gave me direction in the context of my life and, being a gay man, just starting his journey of truth. One thing she said to me that was so profoundly true was that once I had opened the door of self-revelation, the process was unstoppable, as each truth revealed would only foster more curiosity to find out more. Thus began my spiritual, non-religious journey, which was conducive to my individualist perspective. It did not create anxiety over not conforming to a set of fake rules and regulations that propped up the authority of others and did not empower the spirit within. My life of self-accountability had started.
Since then, I met others who could take me to the next step in my spiritual evolution. These stepping stones assisted my spiritual development and instilled a sense of grit and determination to live according to my truth. It all empowered my queerness. I was no longer in conflict with myself due to the failure to satisfy the image of what others thought I should be.
The age-old mantra predominantly controls the spirituality that guides me, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Live your life as you see fit as long as it does not harm others or their existence within the context of who they are. I do not believe in heaven or hell. Doing so denotes a belief that some people are evil and not worthy of salvation, while others achieve the right to enter the pearly gates with others who piously lived their lives. What bunk, right? Belief in heaven and hell denotes a requirement to treat others with ill will and to look upon them in a derogatory fashion. All people, upon their time of death, cross over to another realm of consciousness, which we cannot comprehend as beings in our human manifestation.
Whether you believe in the power of some to communicate and see things we cannot see is a matter of personal choice. To not think so does not make one’s perspective wrong. It simply means they have not made a cognitive choice to look within themselves and choose to meander in their human manifestation unenlightened. Self-awareness is not their thing.
It saddens me when I meet those who do not open their minds to the possibilities of connections to that which lies beyond the veil. Yet, many people believe in the omnipotent power of a grandfatherly dude in the sky who watches over them. It is the same difference. The difference is that it does not adhere to the dogma others instilled in their brains. Why is one’s spiritual power any less a gift from the almighty that they so fervently believe in and dedicate their lives to? As Morpheus said to Neo in The Matrix, “Free your mind, Neo. I can only show you the door. You are the one who has to walk through it.” Free your minds, people, from the shackles of that which is not you or does not emanate from within. Walk through the unknown doors of your life without fear. Boundless opportunities await us if we do.
Jim is the author of two books, Unredacted and Soul Journey, and also publishes an online publication, Diversity Rules Magazine. He resides in Upstate New York in the city where he was born, with his dog Lina and cat Critter.