LGBTQ+ Indepth With… Simone van der Sluis

Exclusive Interview by Karen Beishuizen
Photos courtesy of Simone van der Sluis

Who is Simone?

I’m 52 years old, I love music in the broadest sense, except hardcore and techno. Animal lover, art fanatic, love churches as buildings, sometimes I write poems, environmentally conscious, activist, feminist and nature lover.

I like to walk and cycle. I have been working in childcare for many years. I am religious, but not active in church. Philosophically highly developed. Love theatre and film. My coming-out was approximately 3 years ago. A lot changed in our family when our kids came out of the closet.

How we thought and how we think and know now. As a Christian family, I have overcome many condemning obstacles.

Looking for support in accepting our rainbow children, I met the Wijdekerk foundation through a friend. This has ensured that we as a family continue to support our children unconditionally. Every year there is a Wijdekerk day, with workshops and meetings with other LGBTIAQ+ people and parents. On one of these days, I had the feeling that it was no longer just about the children but also about me. Because my family being anti-gay, I didn’t dare to accept myself as gay. Laughed this off, tucked away feelings of being gay. Fear of condemnation and rejection from the family had everything to do with it. It was often said to and about me that I was/am a lesbian. It always made me angry and sad.

You struggle with yourself and the acceptance that you are different. I fled into a heterosexual relationship. I had a desire to have children. I thought I could prove that I was normal. In the many years of struggling with being gay in general, it has allowed me to quickly accept that our family is different.

On that Wijdekerk day I was in a quiet room and broke out in tears. My feelings and thoughts fell together like pieces of a puzzle. Took 30 years!!

I still find it difficult sometimes, but now I dare to admit to my feelings as a lesbian. Our quote is: God loves all his children! Wijdekerk creates acceptance, offers support, gives advice and assistance. Provides material for discussion within the churches involved. Also moves into politics to discuss gay healing. This is called Sogiece within our foundation.

Every year I try to be present at Dordrecht Pride for Wijdekerk as a proud parent. I also go to Amsterdam Pride and Canal Pride. Didn’t make it this year, so I hope next year!

KB: Where were you born and how was it growing up?

I was born in Beverwijk, city in Noord-Holland, moved to Drenthe when I was 4 years old. So, growing up was pleasant. I had a nice group of friends and a great primary school. I was a girl but behaved like a boy. Nowadays you would call me a Tomboy. In my teen years we moved back to Beverwijk again. A very difficult period for me. I was bullied to the bone. Had some best female friends. I discovered I liked girls but was afraid to come out. I am raised in a homophobic family. So, I hid my feelings, got married and had children. I had my coming out three years ago.

KB: How old were your children when they realized they were gay?

Our daughter was 14 and still in the closet then. When she was 15 years old, she told us she loved girls. Our son was 17 years old when he came out. I believe our daughter knew she was gay at the age off 11. Our son in his early years, when he was 6 or 7 years old.

KB: How did you and your husband react?

Our reaction to our daughters coming out was a bit blunt. We were attending church back then and still under the influence of doctrine. “Are you sure? This could be a phase you are going through” After a period of grounding we thought: “she is gay so what?” Things changed in our family. Our son’s coming out was no surprise. We waited for him to be ready to come out.

KB: Why is it important to you to participate in Pride Events and Walks?

For me to participate is the right to protect our children. Let them know we strive the same goals to be loved as a human being.

KB: What do you think of all the religions out there who still see being gay as a sin?

It makes me very sad at first and then it makes me angry.

KB: Did your children or you ever had a hate experiences?

Of course, they have. Name callings, giving them the eye. But no violence.

KB: Homosexuality is still a crime in many countries around the world. How do you feel about this?

It scares me. It is abusive to make your fear count more important.

KB: What would you like to say to all the homophobes out there?

There is No fear in Love, so get a life.

Check out the website of Wijdekerk Foundation: HERE

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