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Doctor Curmudgeon® Free at Last!

By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist/cardiologist

As soon as he was released, he quickly flew home—as fast as his wings could flutter.

After all, he had been imprisoned in India for eight months.

Indian authorities had accused him of being a Chinese spy; but he was not! It turned out that he was simply a vacationing Indian Racing pigeon.

The name of the pigeon has not been released. His identity must be protected as he was wrongfully accused of being a spy.

International ships dock at a port in Mumbai. The hapless pigeon was seen there, minding his own business, just hanging around, relieving himself and doing whatever pigeons do.

The port police became suspicious of this wanderer as it appeared as if he was trying to blend in. Wearing no disguise, the Indian authorities thought he must be a spy. He just looked too innocent. It seemed that he was trying too hard to look like an innocuous tourist, just waddling around the port.

And so, the Indian police took him into custody, and found Chinese writing on metal rings circling his claws. Thought to be the pigeon’s code name, the writing read “776912 CTRPA 2023.”Aha! More proof that this bird who proclaimed his innocence was really a Chinese spy!

Mug shots were taken of the pigeon as he complied willingly with police procedure.

Continuing to proclaim his innocence and repeatedly announcing that he was not in Mumbai on some secret mission, he was finally taken to the Bai Sakarbai Dinshaw Petit Hospital for Animals and kept there for eight months. Although confined, he was treated well and fed decent food.

After eight months, the animal hospital put in a request to the police to release the pigeon. The bird had been examined, was healthy and was taking up hospital space. Dr. Mayur Dangar, hospital veterinarian, said that the pigeon was no spy.

The police, however, insisted that the bird be imprisoned because he was a flight risk. Really? Who would have thought?

In an Associated Press article, reprinted in The Guardian,” Eventually, it was revealed that the pigeon was an open-water racing bird from Taiwan that had escaped and made its way to India. With police permission, the bird was transferred to the Bombay Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals” and was then released.

For the pigeon’s safety, Indian authorities concurred that the wandering pigeon was now to be considered a citizen of India and accorded his citizenship with all its rights.
In their report in the Wall Street Journal, Shan Li and Rajesh Roy quote Indian Assistant Police Inspector, Ravindra Patil: “The entire Indian sky now belongs to the pigeon…Hope it doesn’t miss its original home.”

Dr. Curmudgeon suggests “Bitter Medicine”, Dr. Eugene Eisman’s story of his experiences–from the humorous to the intense—as a young army doctor serving in the Vietnam War.
Bitter Medicine by Eugene H. Eisman, M.D. –on Amazon

Doctor Curmudgeon® is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.
SERMO www.sermo.com

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